Diary of a secret crush II: Beautiful Disaster
by Delima Rose
Summary: Bella’s just turned 18, she has a hot boyfriend who doesn‘t seem to mind that she‘s a walking hazard. Perfect life yeah? WRONG! Because Edward is ready to pack up and leave... Full summary inside! SEQUEL TO DIARY OF A SECRET CRUSH:UNREQUITED LOVE. R&R! AU
1. Chapter 1

_**Story summary: **__Bella's just turned 18, she has a hot boyfriend who doesn't seem to mind that she's a walking hazard. Perfect life yeah? WRONG! Because Edward is ready to pack up and leave…_

_Fast forward a few months later and Charlie has been assigned to Denali. Once again Bella finds herself in a very familiar predicament. New School, new faces, and a familiar smirky boy who had once broken her heart. _

_Will two foolish hearts finally realise that they are meant to be a little bit more than a beautiful disaster?_

_**AUTHOR'S NOTE**_

_Welcome to the sequel! If you haven't read the first one, then I suggest you go ahead and read it! Once again thanks for those of you who read the first diary of a secret crush. Please review or just drop a comment if you want to! ENJOY_

_**DISCLAIMER: **__we are all up to the sequel…yet I'm still not Stephanie Meyer_

* * *

_**Diary of a secret crush: Beautiful Disaster**_

_**Party **_

_Diary II_

_Forks, Washington D.C_

**Note**

_So lets just say that I'm sad and have no life. Once we've gone over that fact let me tell you one thing; unbelievable as it may seem, I am not sad, and I do have a life. Actually I can safely say that my life is better than most, but hey, I really should shut up, I could just be jinxing myself. _

_Despite the fact that I am a 24/7 walking hazard, I just had the best Summer. I know, I know, Summer should be hot sweaty, not cold, green, and wet, but I really don't care. _

_You might be wondering why I'm writing in a brand new diary. Problem is, I've hidden the diary before this, away from Charlie's prying eyes, and since I have such great luck, I don't exactly remember where I've put it. _

_So let me summarize everything for you in simple detail;_

_-Moved to Forks_

_-Fell in love with a certain bronze haired boy on the first day of School._

_-Became best friends with his sister_

_-Patched up all the parental drama_

_-Reunited with the crazy Striker twins (Sam and Sean)_

_-Found by psychotic enemy_

_-Said psychotic enemy got the boot and ended up in military school_

_-After kissing and making up, Edward and I are finally together_

_-Totally rocked out 'Romeo and Juliet'_

_So as you can see, my life has been anything but ordinary lately, I have come to realize that having a little excitement in life may not be too bad after all._

* * *

**September 13**

I know I shouldn't have been dozing off during work hours, but it's not my fault the Newton's Olympic Outfitters is such a crap place for a part time job. I mean I love Mike for recommending me to his parents, but as usual he's being a complete pain. He's doing everything, while I slowly wilted on the front counter in boredom.

So he's entirely the one to blame when I woke up screaming. Yes, I still get night terrors, and yes, I am aware that it is daylight. I feel like twacking him where it really hurts, but I wont. One, because I'll get fired, two, Charlie will probably ground me once again, and last but not the least…it will give Sam and Sean satisfaction.

The twins has been badgering me endlessly. Usually the twins didn't agree much on anything, but for once they both agreed on something; Mike Newton was an egotistical maniac who needed to be 'kicked and tossed', hey don't ask me; it was their words.

As tempting as it may sound, I don't think I could do that. Sure, he's annoying when he gets all macho with me, but Mike is an okay person over all.

Besides, he isn't my main worry. Like I said before I just woke up from a pretty horrible nightmare. I've been having a lot of nightmares lately, and its not the type where you are walking down a corridor filled with people and you suddenly realize that you're only wearing underwear. No, it is so much worse than that.

In my dream I am in the middle of the same meadow Edward had shown me a couple of months ago. Weirdly enough as I stepped in to the light I could see a full body length mirror. I looked around the meadow, not really sure of what to expect.

I walked slowly towards the mirror, the sun reflected on the mirror, emitting all kinds of colour. Transfixed, I started walking towards the mirror that shines like diamonds beneath the sunlight. As I got closer the wind began blowing rapidly, leaving my hair in complete disarray.

I could feel the wind get stronger, so I pushed harder, leaning against the wind, driven by the desire to get to the mirror.

I felt the earth beneath me start to shake and I pushed harder, breaking to a run, desperate to get to the mirror before it shattered. I could feel it in my grasp, the wind kept trying to pull me back, as I pushed forward I finally came within grasping distance of the mirror.

I smiled triumphantly to myself and placed both of my hands on the edges. I took a deep breath, my very own anticipation made the air thick. Once again I felt the earth shake, I looked around, my face fell as I saw the ground cracking, I cringed slightly as the loud crumbly noises grew.

My hands gripped the edge of the mirror tightly. A movement from the mirror caught my eye. For a second I stood there rooted on the spot. I could see Edward, his flawless face more beautiful than ever, his bronze hair glinted, and his eyes shone green. I felt all of the worry leave my body as I extended my fingers so I could touch his face. But I gasped, all I could feel was cold metal.

I left my hand on the mirror edge for a second, but another sound escaped my mouth. It took me a couple of seconds to realize why there was too much moisture in my eyes. Standing next to Edward was a beautiful girl. Her strawberry blonde hair was fanning her perfectly rounded face, and a pair of cold eyes matching the colour of the ocean stared back at me smugly. She wrapped her slender arm around Edward.

Edward smiled gently down at the girl, moments later their lips locked in a passionate kiss. I felt the earth crumble beneath my feet as I watched them. I peeled my eyes away for a second, wanting desperately to run away. But to my horror, everything around had had collapsed, leaving me stranded in the middle in a piece of unstable platform, with no where to run, no where to hide from the sight that I tried so hard to avoid. I leaped, I jumped from the safety of the platform, and plunged deep into the deadly crevice.

I had woken up with a start. Well it was more like a bang really. I had fallen asleep and had woken up screaming, drenched in my own sweat. Mike had ran towards the counter instantly, trying to placate me. But I must have been trashing about wildly because when I finally woke up, I had managed to scratch Mike on the face.

Perfect, just perfect. I don't know what the dream meant, but it sure felt real. My heart is still feeling a little raw from the whole ordeal. I feel sick. I hate feeling weak, and to make matters worse, mike decided he wanted to become more unbearable…_just put a chain around my neck, why don't you?!_

Even now as he replaced stocks and equipment on the rack, he is still muttering on and on about how I should just go home. "Pfft! And she wanted to do some heavy lifting too!" he said to himself. He must have thought that I didn't hear him.

I was on the edge of getting up and hitting him several times, but I pushed down the urge. Who cares right? Edward will be here soon, my shift is nearly over. Sure, I know he'll be just as overbearing, but I know he'll do whatever I wanted, after all, today is my birthday!

Yes, I'm finally eighteen. I'm still the same if you ask me. Still awkward, with long dark brown hair, and overly sensitive brown eyes that always betrayed me.

I may look the same, but my life was different. It's changed for good, and all thanks to Edward. I have this picture of the two of us; He's sitting on a park bench, with me on his lap, both arms wrapped around my waist. He's looking at the camera happily, he has this peculiar expression on his face, you know, the one where he looks like he's got the best thing in the world wrap around his little fingers. Which in a way, he really does. Not sure about being the best in the world, but he sure got me…bad.

Being with Edward meant I had to tackle his Edward**ism** head on. Trust me, the boy can be so weird and moody sometimes. The bad thing is, I could never tell when his moods would switch from great to sour. Edward never got mad at me, but when he did have problems, he…had trouble telling me. A fact that saddens me, but what can I do?

I love him.

A good half of my summer had been a wreck, seeing as I was grounded. Nope, Charlie wasn't too happy when he checked on my room and found that his daughter had sneaked out. I thought I was going to be grounded forever!

After a month of suffering, he finally let me off.

Hmm, my shift is about to end, I can see Mike coming this way, and wait…is that the sound of a tire hitting a stop outside?

* * *

**September 13 (much later)**

I know its my birthday today, but which part of 'I hate bringing attention to myself' don't people understand? I could have gone without the birthday wishes, but nooo, seemed keen on bringing EVERYONE'S attention upon the birthday girl.

He means well, I know that. But I hate birthday greetings, I hate presents, and most of all…I hate surprises. Doesn't really help, considering my life is _full _of surprises.

So you can imagine my shock when Edward picked me up from work. His face seemed at ease, but I should have known that he was pretending. I definitely should have known when he missed the inter section that lead to my street.

My heart started fluttering when I recognised the road that lead to our little meadow. We can finally have a little time to ourselves! But my face fell when we missed the no through road that lead to the meadow.

I looked at Edward, his face was still perfectly composed. I wanted to say something but I couldn't form words. I knew he was taking me somewhere, and surprise, surprise, words can't describe how I felt when he pulled over on his driveway.

If the blinking lights that said 'Happy 18th birthday Bella!' didn't give it away, then the blaring music definitely did it for me. I stared in horror at the sight before me; Looks like Alice got _a little, _Edward's words, carried away and went on and invited the whole world! Well a little bit of an exaggeration, since she only invited the whole Senior Year!

I was gob smacked. I mean, usually I would have pulled away from the twins tight clutch on me, but I felt too stunned. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry, breaking something wasn't too far off from my mind either.

I opened my mouth but Edward stood in front of me and placed his forefinger on my lips. He leaned down, his breath fanning my ears. I felt like I was melting, I could feel my knees weaken as he whispered in my ear.

"Shh, I know you never asked for this, I'm sorry, but we just couldn't reel Alice in. You know how insane she gets…" he said softly. I felt my resolve melting as Edward kissed my left cheek. "Just…try and enjoy this…I'll make it as painless as possible" he added softly.

I couldn't help feeling safe. I twined my hands with his. I took a deep breath, when I opened my eyes, I gripped his palms tightly and put on a painful bright smile for Alice. Alice squealed, clapping her hands together joyfully. "OHMYGODBELLA!YOU'REFINALLYEIGHTEEN!ARGH!OHMYGAWSH!" she said elatedly, repeating the same intangible sentence over and over again.

I smiled goofily down at her. "Relax Alice, you're more excited than the actual birthday girl" I said in a deadpanned tone of voice. Alice bounced some more.

"HOWCANYOUNOTBEEXCITEDBELLA?!YOUREIGHTEEN!" Alice started once again. Then the counting off began.

"Firstly you don't need fake id anymore" she said counting with her fingers.

"Secondly you can get you own alcohol!"

"Thirdly you are officially an adult now!" she chirped happily.

I let out a sigh, and mentally made conversations with my self. _Should I correct her? _

I stared at Alice before acting like a walking and breathing correction machine. "Okay firstly, I would still need fake id, because you seem to have mixed up the official legal age to countries such as Australia and England" I started flatly. I couldn't see him, but I knew Edward was smiling.

"Secondly, I don't even drink alcohol Alice, so even if I was 21, I still wouldn't drink" I continued, mirroring her movements before. "Last but not the least-" however my last sentence was cut off when a hand wrapped themselves over my mouth. _NOOO! I WAS ON SUCH A ROLL! _But I froze when I recognised the touch.

I shivered slightly, Edward felt the tremor that went through my body. He chuckled slightly before hugging me from behind. "If you keep going, your going to kill Alice's ego" he whispered gently. I looked up and looked at Alice. She looked like she was going to burst out crying.

_Oh for crying out loud…_I went over to Alice and hugged her tightly before my heat completely gave out. "Thanks Al, you're the best friend in the whole entire world" I said sincerely. Alice looked up, a small smile building.

I swear, I think I melted. Alice can affect me the way Edward does, but not quiet in the same way, because if I felt the same way for Alice the way I felt for Edward, then that would make me a lesbian.

I wanted to scrunch up Alice's face. She was just too cute!

She was smiling once again. Alice took a hold of my hand and dragged me all the way inside the house. Everybody else followed. "Well, now that were over that! Lets party!" she said excitedly. I turned to look towards Edward, he smiled warmly at me, "Go and have fun" he mouthed. I gave him my best doe eyes. "Not without you!" I mouthed back.

Edward laughed out loud and took my hands so it turned out Alice held my left hand, while Edward held my right.

We all went inside and found more people. I looked around the room, still trying to decide whether to smack Alice or give her a hug. The room looked stunning. Candles ran up and down the staircase, illuminating the room in soft lighting.

Music blasted as a power jam begun, my eyes followed the sound and found the DJ raving on a made up pedestal. I could spy a table filled with food. The crowd seemed a little rowdy for Forks High School Students. I looked back at the table once again and smirked. _That punch bowl's spiked…_

I could see Sam slyly adding another layer of vodka on to the bowl. I almost laughed out loud before Alice dragged me to another part of the house. I was sure it was the kitchen, but Alice had transformed it. She had removed the gigantic family table. Instead a glass table stood right in the middle.

There were pink drapes hanging that I'm sure were never there to begin with.

I choked on my own spit when I saw all of the presents…_I hated receiving gifts. _I gave Alice an exhausted smile. "Aw come on Bella! I know you're always saying you hate presents. That's bull! Who doesn't love presents??" she said enthusiastically.

I was about to raise my hand up when I felt Edward's arms snake themselves around my waist. "Come on birthday girl! Let's dance" Edward said, his velvet voice making me soar a little higher.

I took his hand and let him drag me on to the dance floor. A slow song came on as he held me. I felt like the whole world was coming to a stand still as he twirled me around the room. I can't dance to save my life, Edward on the other hand looked like he was gliding. He was good enough to make me look good.

I leaned my head on to chest. I could hear the gentle _pitter patter _of his heart. I closed my eyes and swayed with him until the music finished. After a while, it felt like we were the only one in the room that I jumped slightly when I felt a tap coming from behind.

I turned around and almost bumped nose to nose with Mike. He was grinning sheepishly at me. "I'm so sorry I didn't say anything about this Bella! Alice threatened to….never mind!" Mike started, blushing deeply. "Anyway, I hope your feeling better!" he said before turning to dance with Jessica Stanley (_What the hell was she doing there?). _

I felt rather than saw Edward stiffened. I looked at him, his puzzled gaze meeting mine. I blushed furiously. _What was I suppose to say? "Hey Edward! You starred in my nightmare!" _uhhh…no.

I gave out a small laugh, which sounded a little strained even to my own ears. "Don't worry about it…uhh…its just some lame work stuff" I said, grinning broadly. I knew that he didn't believe me, but Edward didn't press on.

I leaned into him and gave him a long dragging kiss on the lips. We were locked tightly the same way when I heard coughing coming from behind us. Edward and I hesitatingly pulled away. I turned around and almost choked. Edward's parents were standing behind me, smiling thoroughly.

I felt like my head was going to explode, I felt the need to crawl under some rock. Esme gave us a knowing look before giving me a hug. "Happy Birthday sweetie! I hope you like our present!" Esme smiled prettily.

The first time I saw Esme I was taken aback by her beauty. I'm sure I never mentioned this in my other diary but Esme looked very young, and no doubt, beautiful. Come to think of it, Edward, Alice, and Emmett's parents seemed a little young.

They looked about thirty or so. But if that's true then it just wouldn't make sense considering Emmett is nineteen, Edward is 18, and Alice is 17 (oh yes, I forgot to mention, Alice is a smartass. She was moved up a grade in year 6 apparently).

I smiled as Mr, and Mrs Cullen began dancing right next to us. "your parents are so great…" I whispered in Edward's ears. Edward nodded and smiled down at me. "They think you're great too" he whispered back.

What he said was so simple, yet I felt this overwhelming love for him at that very moment. I held on to him tightly, I never wanted to let go.

After a while Edward offered to get me a drink. I noticed that Mr. Cullen also left Esme on the dance floor. I curiously went up to Esme. She smiled when she saw me approaching.

"Hey sweetie, where's Edward?!" she said loudly over the noise.

"He's getting drinks!" I replied. "Where's Carlisle?!" I asked.

"Oh! He's just receiving a call right now. I'm sure that he's going to be back very soon" she smiled. "So how are you enjoying your party?" she asked kindly.

I shrugged. "I'm not really much of a party person, but I'm having a lot of fun!" Just then five girls from a lower year level beneath me approached me with a chorus of "HAPPY BIRTHDAY BELLA! GREAT PARTYYY!!" I smiled at all of them, thanking the absence of the lights since I could feel my cheeks heating up in embarrassment.

Esme and I decided to sit of one of the couches and started chatting. "Thank you so much Bella" she started, I looked at her with a puzzled expression. "What for?" I said uncertainly.

"Well, thanks to you Edward's changed. He use to change girlfriends like this! All the time" she said, snapping her fingers to make a point. "I can tell he really cares about you" she said. I started to turn red, I looked down bashfully.

I've heard rumours of Edward being a playboy. Actually I had thought that about Edward before too. We didn't always get along. There was a long patch where I actually hated Edward, but no matter how bad he treated me, I couldn't help falling for him in the end anyway.

But now that I'm with him, I just can't seem to imagine him as anything but a loyal boyfriend. Being with Edward, despite the rollercoaster drama it took me was the best decision I've ever made. I don't regret ever standing in the pouring rain and screaming out the way that I felt about him.

Esme and I continued talking, Edward was taking awfully long to get a drink. I looked towards the food table and found that he wasn't there. I frowned slightly. I heard a commotion coming from outside.

I could hear murmuring coming from outside. I looked to Esme to see if she knew what was happening. She shrugged slightly. I looked around and noticed that Jasper, Alice, Emmet, and Rosalie were no where to be seen.

I stood up and started walking towards the front door. That's when I heard the yelling coming from outside. "You were going to throw her a party and didn't think we would come?! Are you stupid Cullen?!" I recognised the voice instantly as Jacob.

"Jacob! You came!" I exclaimed in surprise. I looked around to everyone before running up to Jacob and giving him a gigantic hug. He had grown so much! He was towering over me, his muscular built embracing me.

I felt all warm inside at seeing my old friend. I turned around. "What's going on?" I said curiously. Edward was looking at Jacob through slits. "That dog is a gate crasher!" Edward said coldly. I looked at him. "But Jake is my friend, you gotta let him in" I said rationally.

Edward looked at me with pleading eyes that seemed to say _please don't, he sucks! _insert whining. I unwrapped my arms around Jacob and walked to Edward and hugged him too. "Aw come on…please? It is my birthday after all…" I said in a small voice that I knew he couldn't resist.

He let out frustrated sigh and nodded. "Fine!" he said annoyed, giving me a squeeze. I kissed him on the cheek being ushering Jake and all the other La Push boys I recognised as Embry, Seth, Paul, Quil, and Jared. I noticed that Sam was painfully absent, and so was his pretty girlfriend Leah.

The rest of the La Push lot mixed the rest of the party goers. I wasn't surprised when they knew people from Forks. I'm guessing Jake and his gang got around. We all went back inside. As soon as we stepped inside, we were greeted by Mr. Cullen. "Edward, come with me, I need to talk to you" Carlisle said. Edward nodded, he turned to me and gave me a fleeting kiss that still left me breathless.

I felt a presence behind me. I turned around then smiled when I saw it was Jake. "He's a protective piece of lug isn't he?" he said wolfishly. He grinned down at me. "So the big bad wolf is here to give you your birthday present" he said casually. I frowned at him. "Hey don't look at me that way. I know you specifically said you didn't want anything over the phone…but I want you to have this…" he said in a low voice. He held out a velvet piece of cloth .

I didn't know what to say so I took the small piece of velvet material. "Aw Jake, Thanks!" I said enthusiastically. Jacob shook his head. "Bella…Bella, its inside. That's just the casing" he said slowly, making a face. I turned scarlet and a laugh escaped my mouth.

I opened the velvet material, and folded between the soft sheet was a beautiful bracelet. My mouth opened at its own accord. There was a mini carved wolf charm on the side. I held the little thing, touching the smooth surface of the charm.

Jacob was mumbling to himself. "I know its nothing compared to whatever Edward might give you, but Billy taught me how to carve it…" he started, but I cut him off by hugging him tightly. "It doesn't matter if its cheap or not, it will always hold sentimental value to me" I said in a soft voice.

I slipped the bracelet on and smiled warmly up at Jake. Even though I probably would never feel as strongly as I do for Edward towards any other guy, Jacob…well he will always be my number two. Through out the summer, even though we didn't get to see each other, we always talked to each other over the phone. I don't think my birthday would have been the same without Jacob, it just wouldn't have been the same.

A girl approached us and asked Jake to dance. He looked down at me with one raised eyebrow. "Have fun" I mouthed. I smiled at him then made my way towards Edward.

He wasn't looking too happy. He was staring at the bracelet, his face wasn't betraying much.

I hugged him tightly. "Are you jealous…?" I said jokingly. He looked down at me, still scowling. "….Yes" he said slowly. I giggled slightly before dragging him to the dance floor.

"No need to be jealous…You want to know a secret?" I whispered slightly looking at him straight. "There's only you in here" I said softly, pointing at the spot where my heart is.

I could tell he was turning slightly red. He had was smiling, but I could tell he was trying to push it down. Then he frowned slightly. "Isabella Marie Swan! Did you just say something completely corny?!" he said in mock horror. I laughed out loud and shrugged. "Well…Yes" I said. We both smiled at each other before getting lost in each other once again.

I don't know what will happen if Edward ever does leave me…I've become so use to him, not having him around would be like cutting off my air supply.

* * *

Thanks to **pebbles606, edwardandbellabelong2gether, devilslawyer123, itsmywafflehouse, Twilightistotallyawesome, Dazzled-Frequently-31242** for the feedback! So here it is as promised! Keep it up guys! -Rose


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Twilight or any of the characters from the book.

Thanks so much for reviewing the first chapter! Yeah I know, please brace yourselves. It's going to be a bumpy emotional roller coaster ride. Special thanks to: **Twilightistotallyawesome-** Please don't forget to breath this time! lol!

**peaceloveandedward- **Lol, you will find out soon enough! Argh i can't give away anything!!

**Luvntwilight-** I'm glad the sequel is being continued too!!

**edwardandbellabelong2gether**- Thanks for the review!

**aglblsm- **Don't know what to say, you rock! lol thanks for reviewing!

**Black blood666-** Hope this doesn't disappoint you :0)

**Rachelandthecupcakecrusades-** Wohoo! Thanks for R&R

**edward-luver961-** Bella's going to die...lol just playing! or am I?

* * *

_**Losing Grip**_

_**Part 2**_

_**September 17**_

Something is not right. I can feel it. I don't know what it is, but everybody is acting really weird. Well the Cullens and the Hales are. I know that there's something Edward is not telling me. I can feel it.

Everything started getting weird after the day of my birthday. During school its even weirder. Edward is always busy, or off somewhere doing something. The only time he was free was during lunch time and even then he would strike up a conversation with Mike Newton about cars.

It's almost as if he was avoiding me. But why would he avoid me? We've been doing fine lately.

Today wasn't any better. He came to pick me up in the morning. The car felt cold somehow, as if an invisible line had been drawn between us. His silence was driving me crazy. But when I turned to speak to him, I realized that we were already on the school grounds.

I pursed my lips and hopped out of the car. He held my hand but did not look at me. Usually I would have enjoyed that, but my paranoid self was going three hundred miles per hour.

_Maybe someone died…._

_Maybe Aliens stole his brain and made him in to a zombie_

_Maybe he likes somebody else _

_Maybe he's sick of me…._

Similar thoughts kept going in and out of my head as I watched his pensive face. Then as if he just noticed I was there, he turned around and stared at me blankly. I looked at him expectantly. "Are you okay?" I asked him. Edward shook his head as if warding off a train of thought.

"Yeah I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?" he said in a calm voice. To others he might look normal, but once you've spent everyday with someone over the course of three months, then you tend to get to know what makes them tick, and Edward didn't look _alright _to me.

I opened my mouth to say something but Edward had kissed my cheeks and headed towards his own locker. He was fast, but I will find out!…Somehow.

Rather sulkily I ended up walking slowly towards my locker. Glaring at random freshmen every now and then. I yanked my locker open then busily started stuffing things inside. I didn't notice the twins approach, so when I felt a hand cover my mouth, I instantly did what any normal person would do. I bit whoever had their hands on my mouth.

I heard a grunt, then a different laughing voice. I turned around to find Sean doubled up on a crouching form, swearing uncontrollably while Sam laughed hysterically. I looked at Sean and felt guilty instantly.

"Oh my god…Are you okay?" I asked nervously. I approached Sean slowly, but he sprung up so suddenly that I let out a yelp. I didn't feel like putting up with their shenanigans so early in the morning.

I rolled my eyes and held two hands up in the air. "What is wrong with you?!" I said loudly, my voice echoing through out the hall way. We had captured the attention of some students, some people were milling around us.

"Whoa Bells, you got your period or something? Why are you acting so anal?" Sam said coolly. I turned bright red instantly. I narrowed my eyes at them, mentally burning holes through their skulls. With a haughty huff I walked away.

I know, I'm never usually like that, but the twins can bring out a different side of me. You know, the side that wants to hunt them down and kill them! Well I headed towards English where I was in the same class as Alice.

Knowing this I felt relief somehow. Because I knew that I was finally going to get my answers. But you know what? Not so much!

I took the East Wing and started heading down our English room. I could see Alice standing outside of the classroom talking to some people. As soon as she saw me an unfathomable look crossed her face before she masked it with her cheerful smile.

I walked suspiciously towards her. She didn't seem to realize my mood though since as soon as I got close enough, she started chattering on non-stop, never letting me have any say. So that's how it's going to be…

I fell quiet the rest of the lesson, my head wandering off some place else. I vaguely caught on what Mr. Mason was saying about Macbeth, but for a good ninety nine percent of the time, my head was on cloud nine.

When the bell finally went I quickly jumped out of my seat. I ran towards my locker. Usually Edward would be leaning on my locker, his long limbs relaxed against the metal doors. _But not today, _I sadly noted. I could feel a bitter taste forming in my mouth.

I knew I needed to relax, but Edward's behaviour was beginning to really get to me.

I started walking towards the cafeteria. Crossing my fingers, hoping to God that he was there waiting for me. When I opened the door, my eyes zeroed in on the spot we usually sat. It was painfully empty. I looked around, people started looking at me.

I looked at Jessica Stanley holding a small tub of yoghurt, she had a smirk on her face as she looked at me. She looked away, I started to feel uncomfortable. Somehow I started to feel like people were either laughing at me, or they felt sorry for me.

I tried to clear my head and I continued walking towards the usual table just in case Edward or Alice decided to show up. I looked around the cafeteria once more to check, but even Jasper was painfully absent.

I sat on the chair, feeling horribly left out. Whatever Edward was doing, I'm sure he had a good reason not to show up during lunch time. I let out a deep breath before munching on my sandwich. I winced slightly when my mouth dug in to the bread. I opened the sandwich and scoffed. Peanut Butter.

I know! That's what you get for letting Charlie make your lunch…urgh! I put down the sandwich. I reverted to staring in to space once again that I failed to notice the twins for the second time.

"Hey Bella" said Sam.

"Watchu doin?" added Sean.

"Watchu eating?" Sam prodded.

"Can I have some?" Sean asked, wrapping an arm around my shoulder.

I let out a sigh. "Don't you have better things to do?" I said in a tired voice. The twins shrugged. "Like what?" Sam said, his blonde fringe falling over his left eye.

"Oh I don't know, go bother Mike or something" I said distractedly.

The twins looked at each other, their casual faces turning in to one of mischief. "Alright, since you told us to. You're being held responsible to whatever happens to Mike!" they both said in unison before disappearing. Bella opened her mouth to say something, but they were both gone.

I let out a sigh. I was about to go back to staring in to spaces when I saw an Alice-like figure. I automatically stood up and followed Alice. I saw her go inside the library. My eyes widened. It was our own little spot whenever we wanted to avoid somebody.

I felt annoyance creeping up as I followed her inside. Predictably enough, I found her hiding behind the classical literature area where works by Jane Austen were stashed.

She jumped slightly when she saw me approaching. She instantly looked around. I smiled. This section was the end, the only way out was past me. I stalked towards Alice as questions after questions started forming in my head. But out of all questions, the first thing that came out of my mind was, "Why are you and Edward avoiding me?" I said in a low voice. We were both quiet for a moment before Alice looked guiltily at me.

"I know! I'm sorry Bella, but I'm not allowed to say anything. I'm not at liberty to say anything…Edward will tell you in time…" she started. She started edging away from me. I knew that hurt was etched across my face as I stared at Alice's guilt ridden face.

"Look…Just take it easy okay?" she said in a small voice, as if she was letting me down gently. "I gotta…go" she said, throwing her hand up to a half wave. I don't know, but those words felt loaded somehow. I felt a shiver running up and down my arms, something's really wrong.

I tried to erase nasty thoughts that kept entering my head as I headed towards Biology. Edward couldn't get away from me that easily, especially since we're both in the same biology class.

But I should have known better. When I entered the room his beauty caught me off guard as usual. But there was something different about him. He looked stoic…too stoic. I sat down next to him. He must have heard the chair move because he turned to me. He had on a…sad smile for some absurd reason.

I smiled brightly back at him. I moved closer, I didn't say anything. I enjoyed the two minutes we had together before the teacher walked in. I closed my eyes and leaned against his shoulders.

He was brushing my his with his fingers, leaving me feeling caressed. When I opened my eyes he was looking at me intently. He was staring at me with a mixture of guilt….hatred?…and adoration? I wasn't sure, but right at that moment I didn't want to say anything. He looked fragile somehow. His green eyes was a beautiful warm pool that made me feel a little too ecstatic.

As we were staring at each other, it seemed like my body came to mutual understanding with his, which didn't make any sense at all. I pulled my gaze away from his. We sat there quietly throughout the whole lesson. I could feel his intense gaze on me more than once, but not once did I look back.

I don't understand why I acted that way, but there's just no turning back. I waited for the lesson to end before turning towards Edward. He wasn't looking anymore so I stood up and walked slowly, slow enough so he could catch up. But he never came level with me. When I turned around he was no where to be seen.

I sighed loudly and walked on towards my locker. I opened the locker, taking whatever I needed before slamming it shut. I walked out of the school and stopped abruptly when I saw Edward waiting for me in front of his silver Volvo. Despite the bad feeling inside my stomach, I sucked in his presence and smiled broadly.

Seeing him waiting made hope spring out, but hope instantly died as soon as I stepped inside the comfort of his car. As he reversed and accelerated out of the car park I felt the invisible wall once again.

I could feel a rift between the two of us. I felt the need to cry, but if I did that would have been too ridiculous.

An uncomfortable silence filled the air. I wanted to flinch badly, but I couldn't. I knew if I made even one move, he would notice it straight away. Several times I had wanted to start a conversation with him but I couldn't pluck up enough courage to do it.

It's getting rather ridiculous. _He's suppose to be my boyfriend! But we are practically acting like strangers! _I stared out of the window, ignoring the heavy feeling that was starting to settle inside the deepest caves of my heart.

I felt nausea starting from the pits of my stomach, raging up to my throat as I saw the house come to view. I felt a sense of desperation as I looked towards Edward. I continued looking at Edward, wanting him to look back at me and when he did the warm green pools that were his eyes suddenly froze over.

His face was composed as he waited for me to get out of his car. "Edward?" I said softly, twirling the mini wolf charm that I was wearing around my fingers. Edward frowned at the bracelet before looking back up at me.

"What's up?" his velvet voice didn't sound cold. However I could hear a certain edge to his tone. "Um…Will you…" I began, but broke off. I don't even know why I was asking for it, but I needed something to reassure me. "Will you…Kiss me?" I said in a tiny voice. Looking at him intently. His cold expression turned to surprise. He was even more taken aback as I started leaning closer to him.

His face looked like it was contorted in pain, but I didn't care. I closed my eyes and let my head get closer to him. Another heart beat later I felt the heat of the familiar lips touching mine.

My heart began thumping erratically as I held his face. Another minute later Edward lost control. He was kissing me like we were the last people on Earth and he was about to abandon me. I pushed the feeling of dread as I got lost in his kisses.

The kiss frightened me. I didn't know what to make of it.

One thing was for sure though; Edward still loved me. At least at the very moment our lips met I had no doubt. However now that I'm on my own in bed, I can't help the dreadful feelings from rising back up on the surface once again.

Uhh..Wait, is that pebbles being thrown at _my _window?

_No, no, _I must be imagining things.

Uh…Okay I definitely didn't imagine that… there it goes again. I'll be right back, I'm going to check it out.

**September 19**

**-**

**September 20**

**-**

* * *

**September 21**

Have you ever had that dream where you're sinking in quicksand and suddenly you're living underwater? That's how I feel right now. Wow, actually another way to describe me at this very moment would be a train wreck.

I'm a downright mess right now. I don't know how I'm still breathing. Heck, when I said that I was coming back two days ago, I didn't expect things to turn out so screwed up…

I had gotten off the bed, I was heading towards the window. I flung it open and gasped when I saw Edward standing by the tree he usually climbed on to get to my room. I gave him a puzzled look. "Why are you there? Why don't you come up?" I whisper yelled.

"No Bella, we need to talk. Come down!" he said in a hush voice. After hearing that sentence, I knew. Nothing good was going to come out of our little chat.

I tiptoed down the stairs, making sure not to wake Charlie. Luckily on my part I didn't trip at all. I slid out of the house and followed Edward who was jumping inside his Volvo. But when I was about to get inside his car he stopped me.

"Uh no Bella, actually bring your own car" that's all he said. I didn't question him as I jumped inside my truck. My stomach was doing multiple somersaults as I started up my truck.

The drive felt long as I followed Edward's headlights. I instantly recognised the path leading up to the meadow.

I saw Edward get out of the silver Volvo. He waited patiently for me as I tried to park my car next to his. He held the door open for me and took my hand. We started walking through the trail. It was already dark, with only the stars from the sky lighting up our way. After a while the silence started getting to me.

I abruptly stopped walking and so did Edward. "What's going on?" I said in an uncertain voice. I stared at Edward's beautiful face, trying to read him. His green gaze were else where. He took a deep breath before looking down at me.

The eyes were frozen cold once again as he stared at me. Curiosity took over as I waited for him to say whatever he wanted to say. He was looking at me coolly.

"Carlisle's been offered a job in Alaska…" he started, his voice sounded far away. I nodded, a sign he obviously took as encouragement. "And he took it. Everyone's moving to Alaska…" he said slowly. He averted his eyes somewhere else, he was avoiding my gaze.

I nodded once again. "That's okay, you'll miss them, I'm sure you'll be fine on your own" I started. He was looking at me with a peculiar expression. We were both quiet for a moment, a pregnant silence hanging above us.

"Bella…I'm going" Edward said in a low voice. I had looked at him with confusion, I honestly didn't get what he was talking about. "Where?" I said in a tiny voice. Edward looked at me, his face was screwed up in to a pained expression that disappeared faster than when it came.

"Bella…I'm moving to Denali with everyone…" he tried again. He was looking at me patiently, as if waiting for what he was saying to finally sink in. I felt the pain from below my chest slowly creeping out as he stared at his green eyes, searching.

"You're…leaving? But-But…Why?" I whispered, my voice broke slightly. Edward looked at me with a weird expression on my face. "I have to, dad needs to be there, and I…want to be there" he said softly. I looked at his face trying to see if he was lying.

His steel gaze triggered the slow torturous crack forming from the base of my heart. "But what about us?" I said wounded, to my dismay he wasn't ruffled one bit.

He coughed loudly, his eyes travelling to my face. "Alaska is a fair way away Bella…I don't think I can do long distant relationships. Heck, you're the longest relationship I've ever had…I'm not sure I can go the distance…" he had looked down by this point. He was avoiding my eyes by all means.

I could hear the mental tearing inside of me as my heart burst out in to flames. "So you're breaking up…with…me?" my voice caught, I kept breaking off. I tried to push down the tears that were on the edge of pouring out.

I looked up to see Edward's beautiful face. He was nodding, an indication that what I said was indeed true. I wanted to say something…Anything…Anything at all that would convince him to stay with me forever. But my throat stayed blocked. I couldn't utter a single word.

I opened my mouth to say something but he spoke up before me. "Please…Be safe when I'm away. Don't do anything stupid…" he said softly. I looked up, his ice cold eyes had melted, hope sprung up then crushed when the cold steely look came back.

"Don't do it for me, I'm only worried about Charlie. Don't give him too much of a hard time" he bossed.

I should have done something. Thrashed about, anything at all that would keep him there. But like the useless loser that I was, I stayed frozen.

Edward kissed my forehead softly. I closed my eyes, I felt a single tear leak out from the side of one eye. I felt Edward leave, the place where he use to stand felt cold and empty. When I opened my eyes he was gone.

When I knew he was definitely gone, I let out all the pain that I was feeling and cried enough, wept enough for the whole world to know. I looked around me frantically, but all I could see were trees in the darkness.

I ran, I started running as fast as I could. _maybe if I run fast enough, I'll catch up to him?_ I said to myself. But I knew all hope was lost. When I got to the car park Edward was already gone.

I had gone home in tears, Charlie had embraced me tightly, saying that Edward and I just needed to talk it out. I even decided to go to him the next day. But the sight that greeted me when I got to the Cullen's house broke my heart even more.

I walked towards the front door, pressed the doorbell, penetrating it, until I came close to breaking the whole thing. I just couldn't face up to the fact that the house was painfully empty. No laughing Emmett, and no bouncy Alice…Alice, even my so called best friend never said goodbye.

All of them were gone, while I was left behind with nothing but memories that's starting to haunt me, robbing me of sleep. And of course, my insane thoughts of what could have been and what probably would never be.

_And it comes to be That the soothing_

_light at the end of your tunnel Is just a freight train_

_coming your way_

**_-Metallica_**


	3. Chapter 3

_**Disclaimer: **__I do not own twilight, or diary of a crush. They are the work of the genius Stephenie Meyer and Sara Manning_

**Just to feel alive**

**Part 3**

_Each passing minute that passes by became a drug. _

_A cure, the medicine to the numbness that's slowly ripping a hole inside where _

_a memory use to lie. _

_And here I am, healing slowly even though not so clearly his face is slowly disappearing, his voice in my head is slowly fading until I'm left with nothingness………_

* * *

_**Four Months Later**_

**February 3**

I'm fine. There's nothing wrong with me. So I really would appreciate it if people would just leave me alone and stop asking me if I'm okay. Sure I went to Jacksonville longer than expected but its exactly what I needed.

For a while I thought I would never resurface. I felt broken, used, dismayed, annoyed, frustrated, and the worst feeling of all; betrayed. Betrayed by my ex boyfriend, betrayed by his family, and most of all betrayed by my very own best friend.

Jacksonville pieced me back together roughly. I may not be the same, but going away was exactly what I needed.

A new scenery…a breath of fresh air, new faces…I'm fine…There's nothing wrong with me. I just got back from Florida two days ago. I was aware of all the stares I was getting at school. I even got my fair share of whispers. People kept looking at me as though they expected me to break in to little pieces.

Newsflash, they are all a little late. I broke a long time ago, it took all of my strength (and Renee's) to put my self back together piece by piece. If Renee hadn't come and rescued me, hence taking me to Florida, I think I would be in worst shape.

One month after _he _left I still dreamed that he would come back, but then another month came, then another…I learnt to deal with the fact that he was never coming back. Sure, I still dream about him every now and then, sometimes I would see normal things that would trigger a memory, but other than that the pulsing pain I got whenever I thought about him was gone.

I think I've gone numb, but hey, I don't mind, the only thing that matters now is that _he's _finally disintegrating in my mind.

Coming back to school had been a little on the weird side. Jessica Stanley had somehow become nicer, Mike wasn't too pushy anymore, and the twins…seemed much more behaved now than when I left them. I'm starting to think that the two of them were coming down with something.

My biology class felt empty. When I walked inside the room, the chattering instantly stopped. I looked around self consciously. I sat on my usual bench, something close to a pang rang in my heart when my gaze drifted to the stool next to me.

An empty space that would never be filled became more obvious. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and thought about my happiest moments. But to my dismay, most of my happiest moments happened with _him. _

I decided to clear my mind, and stared at a black dot next to the board for the rest of the lesson, seemingly not breathing and not saying anything to anyone. Once the bell rang, I left the room instantly. As soon as I walked out of the door, I felt a burden being taken off of my shoulder. I was able to breathe easily again.

I went to my locker in a daze, not really aware of anybody. It's not so bad now. But three months ago I would have ran out of biology before the lesson even started.

I opened my locker and stashed my biology text book away. A rush of students were coming back from their classes, chattering away without a care in the world. My heart sank a little. I didn't have much friends, the only friends I had were the Cullens and the twins. But even the twins had been somewhat detached somehow.

It seemed like they've lost their usual spark. I saw them rushing in the morning. They had walked past me, didn't even notice me. Sam and Sean looked exhausted and drained. I wanted so much to talk to them, but everything felt strange.

I started walking towards the cafeteria but abruptly stopped when I saw a familiar face walking my way. Jasper hadn't seen me yet. From where I hid behind the trophy cabinet all I could think about was he looked _okay. _Somehow I had expected him to reduce to tears, but it seems Alice's absence didn't affect him at all.

As he neared the trophy cabinet, another senior boy stopped by to chat to him. "Hey man are you coming for practice over the long weekend?" Trent Jefferson asked Jasper, looking hopeful.

I could see the back of Jasper's hair, the curls falling all over the place in complete chaos. He shook his head, adjusting his hold on the books he was holding.

"Nah man, I can't. I'm going to Alaska to visit Alice" I could tell he was smiling, I could hear it in his voice. Something hard jammed itself against my heart at that very moment.

_He was going to see Alice? _I thought to myself. As in the same Alice who was suppose to be my best friend? Anger flared up inside of me, my head began to throb uncontrollably. I felt like I just ruptured a vein.

A familiar feeling of betrayal came upon me.

I tried to ignore the bitter taste in my mouth as I ran out of the school. I yanked the open the door to my red Chevy truck and reversed out of the car park. I didn't know where to go, all I knew was that Jasper was still seeing Alice.

Why does it still hurt? It doesn't make sense. I don't get why Alice and Jasper are still going strong, while I was left all alone. The hurt that I was feeling intensified even more as memories came rushing back. I stepped on the breaks, swallowing really hard.

I banged my head against the steering wheel and let out a string out curses. I took deep, even breaths and closed my eyes. _It's not worth it, they obviously didn't care much about me. _I thought bitterly.

I slammed my hand on the steering wheel, angrily wiping my eyes when a single tear fell on my right cheek. _Idiot girl! Of course they don't care. _I kept repeating to myself. I knew I shouldn't have thought about things that way, but damn it! I'm one emotional girl, it annoys the crap out of me.

I started up the car once again once I pulled myself together. I knew exactly where I wanted to go, where I needed to be. I started heading towards La Push. Even though I knew Jake would still be at school I continued driving.

I know that I haven't seen him in four months, and frankly, I think he's probably the only one who wouldn't be too disgusted to talk to me at that very moment.

I didn't know what I was going to say to him. I think Jacob got the worse end of the stick. No matter what, I was suppose to be one of his best friends. But all I've done was avoid, and screen his calls. Its understandable if he never wanted to see me again. But compared to the people from school, talking to Jacob seemed likely the best choice.

I rounded on the corner, my heart soared up a little bit as Jacob's house came to view. I turned the key from the ignition and stepped out of the car. The house looked awfully silent. My heart sank a bit.

The door swung open and a boy who looked a lot like Jacob stepped out, grinning from ear to ear. "BELLA!" the boy said with glee. That's when it hit me. His voice sounded familiar. The low tremor of his voice gave a reverberating effect, but beneath the voice, I recognised something that was all too Jacob.

I squinted slightly, trying to see if it was really him. He had the same russet skin, black long hair that went pass his chin, and of course, the same warm dark brown eyes.

I was gaping at him, not really trying to hide my surprise. Jacob looked like a man now. I mean…He was always boyish, but now he's…a man…His muscles were so obvious now, and my God, was he always so tall?

"Okay…Who are you? What did you do with Jacob?" I said suspiciously. But he just smiled and scooped me up. "Oh very funny!" he drawled. I laughed out loud at his strength. He put me down and looked down at me.

"So what are you doing here?" he asked casually. He was talking to me as if nothing had ever happened. I smiled at that, I appreciated him even more because of that. I still felt guilty somehow. I knew he was being nice, but I really didn't deserve his kindness.

"Oh…You know" I shrugged, "I was just in the neighbourhood" I continued, peering up at him. "I'm so sorry…" I said in a weak voice. Jake shook his head and gave me a bear hug. "Nah-uh, I completely understand. You went through a lot…But you look fine now. I'm glad!" he said in as cheerful voice.

I smiled warmly up at him once he finally loosened his hold on me. He took my arms and we walked linking arms towards the beach enjoying the rustling of the ocean. "So, why are you cutting classes for?" I in mock strictness. He laughed at that then raised his eyebrows at me cockily.

"It's track season right now, I've been training very hard. Billy wanted me to relax for the competition tomorrow" he said, pushing his hair back as we walked on the sand.

"Uh okay…How's that going for you?" I said slowly. Jacob shrugged and looked out to the ocean. "It's been very easy actually…without Cullen, there hasn't been much of a competition," he started, giving me a sideways look. I nodded in encouragement. "Well, I've been very good that coach decided to put me on the state championship team" he said distractedly, twiddling with his thumbs.

"Yeah the championship is tomorrow. I heard your friends are going to be there. You know the Striker twins?" he asked, I nodded. "Well, they've become quiet a hotshot in Forks, their going to the State championship too" he said in a flat tone.

"That's great Jake, I'm so glad for you" I said sincerely, giving him a small smile.

"Yeah, I am kind of awesome though right?" he said laughingly. "Uh-uh, no kidding kiddo!" I replied.

"So…It's tomorrow huh? I am so there!" I said enthusiastically. I really did want to see it, I've always wanted to watch Jake in action, maybe not quite as much as Ed-_him. _

Jacob and I walked around the beach_. _It was cold, with the wind blowing ferociously. For about an hour Jake and I talked about every and anything but _him. _Jacob understood that it was a painful topic, so he steered clear from it. I let out a breath once the rain started to fall.

I made motioned to go back to the house, but Jacob stood on the same spot, kicking on the puddles building up on the hole he had created on the sand. For a while I watched him amuse himself. I watched as he kicked and kicked on the water. It was quiet amusing to watch.

It must have been such a weird sight; him kicking puddles, while I soaked up the freeing water. "Jacob! Lets go! We're going to catch a cold!" I yelled over the heavy rain. He turned around and headed my way. "Race you to the house Bells!" he yelled out, getting a jump start ahead of me.

I let out a sigh and ran after him. I was struggle from the run. I kept falling over and slipping on the sand. I fell so much that I was tempted to just stay on the floor and lay there until the rain passed.

As soon as we made it to the house, Jacob walked me towards the car. "You better be there tomorrow alright?" Jake said excitedly. "Damn straight! You better cheer for me!" he added.

I laughed cheerfully before jumping inside the car. For once I didn't feel hallow. My heart felt heavy with elation for some odd reason. I watched Jacob through the rear view mirror, waving manically at me. I smiled broadly.

But as soon as Jacob's reflection disappeared from the mirror, my heart sank once again. The hallow feeling returned, along with the feeling of impending doom. My bottom lips began to quiver, but I pushed down the sob.

As soon as Jacob's house came out of view all of my insecurities came back. The sense of betrayal came back as I reflected on what I learnt from school that day. I still couldn't believe Alice would contact Jasper and not me.

I am beginning to think that everything I went through was just a pleasant dream. That in reality, perhaps I never became friends with Alice, I never kissed Edward under the pouring rain. It was as if I never met the Cullen's at all, period.

When I realized that I was already on my street. I abruptly killed off the car's engine. I looked at my reflection on the rear view mirror and almost cringed.

My eyes had turned red, and my nose were bright red. I also looked flushed. I knew that if Charlie saw me that way he would have flipped.

I wiped the tears away from my eyes and stood under the pouring rain for a while. That way I was able to camouflage real tears, and no doubt, Charlie would think I had the flu.

I locked the truck then ran inside the house where Charlie opened the door before I could even knock. "Goodness Bella!" he exclaimed, taking in my soaked clothes, then finally my face.

"I was so worried when the school called up and told me you ran out! Didn't you hear Mr. Mason calling your name?" he asked, his tone a mixture of annoyance and worry.

No, I guess I didn't hear Mr. Mason calling out my name. I sighed before answering dad. "No, sorry. I just needed to…get away…" I said carefully, filtering my words. "I went over to Billy's house and caught up with Jake, that's all" I continued, "I mean its okay right? You were always telling me to call him up" I said rationally. Charlie looked at me, I knew he wanted to say something else, but for some absurd reason he couldn't spit it out.

He was giving me a very odd look that I couldn't comprehend. He shook his head, 'Go dry up okay?" he said softly, looking a little distant. I nodded, my lips pursed.

As I climbed up the stairs I looked back at Charlie, he was scratching his head, and for some reason he looked nervous. I gave him one last curious glance before continuing up the stairs. I placed one hand on the doorknob pausing for a couple of moments. I erased the feeling of nostalgia, and pushed down the hope that raised up whenever I came to my room. _He's never coming back, he's never going to lay on your bed, so just stop it! _the same inner conflict played up in my head.

I sighed and let my self in. I removed my clothing and took a shower. For some reason the warm shower didn't comfort me, I became too caught up in my own little fantasies that the warm water that cascaded down my tired body became cold.

I don't think anyone can match up the frustration that I was feeling….That I'm still feeling. Its like this constant nagging horrible sensation going on inside my head, I'm starting to think that maybe I am losing my mind…

After changing into a warm long sleeve shirt and track pants I ran down stairs to satisfy my stomach. There was still left over lasagne from the night before. I smiled at Charlie as I walked inside the kitchen.

We both sat down, eating in silence. My mind was going 100 miles per hour about insignificant things when a thought popped inside my head.

"Dad…?" Charlie's head shot up, I looked up to see the surprise in his eyes. "What?" I asked in confusion. Charlie shook his head. "Uh nothing, its just you called me da- yeah were you going to say something?" he said casually. I nodded slowly, I gave him a weird look before continuing.

"Yeah…um…Can I please go to the state track and field championship? Jacob and the twins are competing, and I really want to see them" I said, putting an edge to my voice. Charlie wasn't looking at me. He agreed almost instantaneously. I looked at him to see I he was serious.

He looked up to find me staring, "Really?" I asked. He nodded, giving me a forced smile. It looked painful somehow…The smile I mean.

"But come home on time, I need to talk to you alright?" he said nonchalantly. I paused, then nodded obediently. "Sure dad" I said in a flat voice.

After dinner, I went straight to bed. I stared at the forming cracks on the side of the wall near the window. I'm still half staring at it. I can't sleep. There's something Charlie's not telling me, and honestly, I'm not too sure if I even wanted to know. I've had bad experiences with surprises.

I need to relax, I need all my strength for tomorrow. I really hope that tomorrow is will be a better day for me, for Jacob, for the twins, and most of all, for Charlie.

* * *

**Author's note:**

Sorry for the boring chapter guys, but it's a bit of a filler for the next chapter…

Oh and sorry if this update is a bit late, but school started up again. I can only update on Wednesdays and Weekends now. Thank you all for being so understanding :0)

Due to some er..complaint? I've decided to write this…in case nobody knows…This is a storyline crossover between Diary of a crush by Sarra Manning and Twilight (Sorry, I always thought that it was pretty obvious…the title pretty much speaks for itself). And to Katie: I know exactly where your coming from. But you can't say that I stole Sarra Manning's work and try to pass it as my own seeing as its published in fan fiction, if I had published this in fiction press (original fiction) then that I would classify as stealing. This is still a twilight fanfic, chapter one was merely to summarize what happened on 'unrequited love', its not like I'm going to copy Sarra Manning's book word for word, I agree with you, that would be wrong. But anyway if I was breaking the rules, this story would have been taken out ages ago…along with all of the others stories in fan fiction. But thanks for pointing that out :0)


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: **I do not own twilight, or diary of a crush. They are the work of the genius Stephenie Meyer and Sara Manning

HEY GUYS! LEAVE A REVIEW OR DROP A COMMENT PLEASE! HOPE YOU LIKE THIS CHAPTER!

_**The ghost of you**_

_**Part 4**_

_**February 4 (bedroom)**_

If there was ever an award for 'the worst day ever" then today definitely takes the cake. I don't know how everything turned to this, I can't even begin to comprehend what the hell is happening. Its almost as if life decided it was feeling bored, and spontaneously decided "Let's ruin Bella's life!"

I ended up going to the track and field school state championship a little too early. When I got to the field the place was packed with different school colours. That's when it hit me; state actually meant the different states of America. Instantly Ed-_he _popped inside of my head. He was a runner too, I had thought that perhaps he was competing. And stupid me, hope sprung up inside of me.

I instantaneously pushed the thought away. After all, I came to cheer Jacob on, not to obsess over uncaring ex-boyfriends.

I looked around the field. All around I could see a sea of faces, but there were no familiar ones. I couldn't find Jacob or the twins anywhere. I walked along the fence and watched competitors doing their warm ups.

I could feel the excited buzz in the air. As soon as I stepped out of the car, I could almost feel the excitement, more so when I saw girls and boys chattering away to their opponents. The air felt cold and crisp, but for some sort of miracle the sun was actually up.

I looked up at the clear blue sky and couldn't help but smile. I hadn't seen clear blue skies since Florida. I had turned a tiny bit brown when I was in Jacksonville, but as soon as I came back, my skin turned to its natural pasty white colour, or as Renee would put it, the natural ivory glow. Yeah whatever, that's just the nicest way of saying your absolutely bloody white.

I sat along one of the bleachers, and since nobody was talking to me, I grabbed my iPod from my bag and turned it on. An old song of 'Lifehouse' blasted on. I closed my eyes as 'Hanging by a moment' played in my ears.

I wondered what Charlie had wanted to talk to me about. He was as pensive as ever this morning, it wasn't like him at all. Sure he can be rather awkward, but it just seemed so much like he was hiding something from me.

I sighed to myself as I got carried away in my own thoughts. One moment I was sitting on the bench, the next I was being lifted off. I squealed desperately as I turned to look at who had so rudely abducted me. My eyes grew wide as I took in Sean's appearance.

"Sean?" I said in disbelief. "Hey! What the hell! Put me down you jerk!" I yelled at him. Sean dropped me like a hot potato. I glared at him, but he just laughed out loud.

"Where the hell is Sam?" I asked, brushing my back to get rid of any dirt. "Aw Bells, why do you need Sam for? I'm here, we are basically the same person" he said in a wounded voice, giving me the famous puppy dog eyes.

I shook my head. "No you're not the same person, trust me okay? I know you" I said casually, "Now where the hell is everyone? I knew I shouldn't have come early!" I ranted. Sean rolled his eyes and kept walking.

I followed him as he walked along the platform. Students were already being herded around their own group of classmates. I desperately looked around for Jake, but found him to no avail.

I sighed and walked side by side with Sean instead. I gave Sean a sideways glance. I couldn't read anything from his pensive expression, but I could tell that he had questions that only I could answer.

"We knew you were back, sorry we didn't come and see you earlier. We've been busy training for today" he said quitely, looking ahead. "So…where have you been Bella?" he asked, I noticed a slight catch in his voice, but I ignored it. I looked ahead and shrugged. "Went to Jacksonville to visit Renee…" I started.

Sean gave me a sideways glance and shook his head, smirking slightly. "For four months?" heavy sarcasm was evident in his voice. I recognised the hurt in his voice, guilt flooded inside my heart as soon as he said this.

My flight was very abrupt, I didn't even say goodbye or anything. I can just imagine the worry I had put on the twins. Like I've said before, I blocked out a lot of my friends, it's the biggest reason why I am such a loner now.

We passed some St. Xavier students as we threaded through the boys changing room…I looked around worriedly, averting my eyes at all of the curious gazes I was getting. Some freshmen were walking around in their underwear. I stupidly closed my eyes and smacked face first on an opened locker.

Sean pretended not to notice as he continued walking. I rubbed my nose and winced. "I know, I am so sorry! You and Sam had always been there…" I started in a small voice.

I could feel the invisible wall he had created around himself, Sean was acting coldly for some reason. Then all of the coldness suddenly melted.

"Damn straight! Damn it Bella!" he spun around, "Why didn't you say anything? You know we would have done anything to help you!" he said angrily. The tone of his angry voice startled me. I was use to Sam doing all of the yelling, but not Sean…Never Sean.

I gulped. Before I could stop it, ridiculous tears started cascading down my face. Luckily we had reached an area of the change rooms where not much people stood. I stopped walking and cried, clutching my face with my hands. I started to hiccup violently as I tried to speak coherently.

"I'm am so _hic _sorry! I know I _hic_ should have said _hic_ something, please don't be _hic_ mad. I don't want you _hic, hic _to be mad, I've had one too _hic_ many bad luck, having you and Sam hate me would definitely _hic _be the icing of the train wreck cake!" I sobbed. People started leaving the area where I was sobbing. I could tell that they were uncomfortable with the awkward moment, so they started piling out.

"Aw Bells, don't cry" Sean said in a much gentler voice. He hugged me to him, stroking my hair gently. I kept sobbing, and the gigantic hiccupping just wouldn't quit. Just then I heard footsteps coming from behind me.

"Damn it Sean! I only told you to find her, not make her cry! What is wrong with you?" Came Sam's familiar voice. I abruptly spun around and flew in to Sam's arms. "Bella! You're back!!" came a feminine voice.

Right next to Sam was the oldest Striker sibling, Marie. She was staring at me intently, the stare only a Striker could pull off. I noticed a slight difference with her face. I tried to see the difference but I couldn't find it. She looked…_Radiant _somehow.

I gave her a shy wave but Marie grabbed me and hugged me warmly. "Ahh you poor thing, you've gone through so much! You alright?" she asked me worriedly. "These two weasels wouldn't tell me anything, I literally had to _bash _it out of them!" she said, glaring at the twins at the last bit.

I saw the twins flinch slightly at the evil glare Marie was giving them. I couldn't help but smile at that.

I pulled away then looked at Marie. "Thanks for the concern, yeah I'm fine, nothing wrong with me. I'm sorry for worrying you…" I trailed off slightly. Marie smiled warmly at me.

"Its alright! I know we were never close before. But you don't have to feel alone. You know that right?" she said kindly. I nodded, I was blushing furiously. I was about to open my mouth to say thank you when I heard a bang coming from the entrance of the change rooms.

"IS SHE HERE? BELLA!!" I recognised Jacob's growl instantly. I frowned slightly, wondering what the hell he could be mad about now. I shrugged and rushed towards him. He was wearing running shorts and a plain black tank top.

"BELLA! What the hell are you doing in the boys change room?!" he said frustratingly. He sounded annoyed for some reason. "Uhh…well..you see…" I started, but Marie interrupted me. She stepped out of our hiding place, then looked condescendingly at Jacob. Her eyebrows were raised arrogantly, a look that matched Jacob's arrogant expression.

"Oh how rude" she stared at Jacob's ponytail. "What do you need Pocahontas? You're interrupting a very special conversation" she said in a sophisticated tone. Sean and Sam snorted in the back while Jacob glared at Marie.

"Well, FYI Bella came here to cheer for me, so I shotgun!" Jacob said childishly. I raised my eyebrow at him. I suddenly felt like an object. The twins stood in front of me and stuck out their tongue at Jacob. "Yeah well finders keepers" the twins said in harmony. I rolled my eyes at all of them.

"Can y'all just stop please? I'm starting to feel like a furniture" I said sarcastically. "I came here to cheer all of you on! Now please, lets make this day as painless as possible" I said in a bored voice. "Just go and have fun" I sounded awfully like a broken record. But Marie nodded.

"She's right boys, why don't you guys warm up, Bella and I will find the perfect spot up on the bleachers. Kapeesh?" Marie said bossily, nobody responded since all three of the boys were still glaring at each other.

Suddenly Marie's voice got louder, deeper, and scarier as she invaded all of their personal spaces. "I…SAID…KAPEESH?!" she repeated loudly, squaring her shoulders, and putting two hands on her hips. Everybody, including Jacob looked shaken as they all nodded.

Marie grabbed my arms and we both walked out of the change room linking arms. I could hear Jacob's voice inside, "God you two, your sister is a nightmare!"

I smiled at that. Marie is pretty scary. No doubt about it.

Outside the place was starting to fill up. More people were arriving. Another bus was arriving. It was a gigantic one this time. It was packed with people inside. I'm guessing they were probably athletes, family, and other students. I noticed the alpine logo on the side of the bus. I didn't think much on it until later on.

The excitement in the air grew as the bleachers started to fill up. On the bottom were some cheerleaders from differently schools. I spied Jessica Stanley and Lauren Mallory stretching towards the middle of large stretch of cement that had all of the cheerleaders on it.

They were geared full on with the school colours of Red and Gold, with the fighting eagle on their tops. Jessica saw me and waved frantically at me while Lauren ignored me. I waved back at Jessica then continued walking. Marie had on an amused expression as she watched Jessica doing kick flips and splits.

"Is that girl on steroids?" she asked in a bright voice. I snorted at that. Just then my stomach did its own back flip with a little added grumbling. I hadn't eaten anything since breakfast. Marie must have heard my stomach because she suggested we went to get some food before the races started.

We headed towards the hotdog vendor. There was only one person waiting for service. I recognised the boys messy tuft of blonde hair, and his lean masculine form. I held my breathe before he turned around to look who was behind him.

Jasper's face looked surprise to see me. An awkward silence hung above the two of us. He was staring at me as if he was seeing a ghost of me. I coughed loudly, breaking the silence. "Umm, you've met Marie yeah?" I said, pointing at the girl beside me. Jasper nodded, smiling kindly at Marie.

"You're the twins older sister yeah?" he asked, "I'm Jasper" he smiled. He was nervously running a finger through his hair, and his face looked slightly uncomfortable. We were both saved from the awkwardness when the boy behind the counter gave Jasper his order of two hotdogs. He started walking before remembering to say goodbye.

I forced a smile in my face, another urge built up inside of me. I wanted to cry so bad, but I pushed it down. _nothing is wrong, nothing is wrong, nothings is wrong, nothing is…._

"Bella?…" came Marie's soothing voice. I turned to look at her worried face. I smiled at her then nodded towards the vendor. "Yum! Hotdogs!" I said awkwardly. Marie just shook her head and ended up ordering one large popcorn, two hotdogs, two large cokes, and two king size mars bars.

I stared at the chocolate bars. "Who are they for?" I asked in a strained voice. Marie paid the boy on the counter then started walking. She handed me the chocolate bars.

"They're for you. Chocolate is good for the soul" she said casually.

I smiled gleefully at her. I bit in to the chocolate bar, consuming the whole thing in three bites. "Take it easy tiger" she laughed at me. I just shrugged and closed my eyes, letting the chocolate melt in my mouth.

We sat there for a while just watching the cheerleaders in amazement as all of them did routines after routines of complex looking dance moves. Just then another bunch of cheerleaders walked through the gate. This time they were wearing white and blue cheerleading outfit. I noticed the small logo on the hem of the skirt, it was an alpine. I had never seen the uniform before, so I'm guessing they might be from another state.

The girls from this school looked ridiculously beautiful for high school kids. They all looked like they just walked out of 'America's next top model' or something. They were lead by a girl had beautiful cascading curly strawberry blonde hair, I noticed her intense gaze as she walked through the crowd. The crowd parted for them. The two girls right behind her were equally beautiful. One was a beautiful brunette with either green or hazel eyes. This one was pouting like posh spice.

The other one was a busty red head. She had a straight long mane of red hair, and absolutely striking blue eyes. The rest of the girls followed the three as thought they were goddesses.

Sitting all the way to the back Marie and I looked on, our eyes glued on the new arrivals. I looked at the logo once again, something seemed familiar about it. I squinted and tried to figure out where I've seen the logo before.

I turned to Marie, for a moment she had the same expression as me, but then her face clouded with recognition. "Oh my god!" that all Marie said. I looked at her in confusion. "Don't you recognise that logo Bella?!" she asked impatiently. I looked at the logo once again then back at Marie. "I've seen it before, but I don't remember where" I said honestly.

"Do you still remember Volterra Preparatory?" she urged. The name rang a bell. That's when it hit me. The private school up in the alpines of Alaska. A school that allowed casual clothes despite the fact that it is a private school, the school ran by one of the most powerful family in the world, the Volturi.

I gaped at the new arrivals, then stared at Marie. "It is a small world after all!" I said disbelievingly. The new girls started their own warm up. Even when they were doing stretches they looked sophisticated.

I felt sick somehow looking at them moving so perfectly. "Urgh God, they make me sick. I'll be right back" I said in a low voice. I walked down the steps, on the way down I noticed the blonde girl was staring at me. I ignored her intimidating gaze and continued walking towards the toilet.

I felt like my bladder was about to rip themselves. I started rushing faster towards the toilets. I broke in to a run, which was a very bad idea. I wasn't looking where I was going when I bumped face first on to a mass of heavy muscles. I stopped abruptly and cringed at the pain on my nose.

"Whoa! Watch where you're going-" the guys voice sounded familiar, but I ignored it. "Sorry!" I squealed, I sprinted towards the bathroom, not thinking twice about the person I just bumped in to. When I finally made it to the bathroom, I yanked open the door and peed. I felt my muscles loosen up as I let out a sigh.

I heard the door open once again, I could hear two sets of footsteps, which was followed by voices. "It is so weird to be back here again…" came a musical voice that sounded all too familiar. I held my breath and covered my mouth.

"I know it was safe to come, I know Bella wouldn't come today…but still you know…" Alice's voice sounded awfully guilty. I heard shuffling outside and a tap turning on. "Oh your still not over it? That happened three months ago…I'm sure Edward is _over_ it already" another voice said, a voice I recognised as Rosalie Hale's.

My heart deflated, and my bottom lip began to quiver. _Why is this happening to me? _I thought to myself bitterly. I mean its not bad enough that they were right outside, I wanted so bad to hug Alice.

"Yeah I know that…But she's still my best friend. I…" Alice trailed off. My eyes started to tear up. I wanted so bad to let out a sob, but I bit my fist, muffling the noise. Tears cascaded down my face for the second time uncontrollably. As soon as I heard the door close behind Alice and Rosalie, I let out a pained sob.

I grabbed a handful of tissues and cried until my lungs gave out. All the while all I could think about was what Rosalie said. I'm sure _Edward is over it already. _Those words kept playing inside my head over and over again. A mental debate was flaring up inside my head. _Of course, what did you expect? _I said to myself mercilessly.

I slowly started to get up, cursing myself for being so damn weak. I walked out of the cubicle and was disgusted with the sight that greeted me. I was one hell of a wreck. My eyes were red and bloodshot, and my nose were red. I looked exactly like Rudolf the red nose reindeer on crack.

I washed my face, getting rid of any signs that could lead Marie to think that I had been crying again. On my way out I wounded my self through the crowd at a fast phase. Mumbling apologies whenever I accidentally bumped in to someone.

However I couldn't get all the way through. I noticed that there was a crowd milling around the middle area. I tried to push myself through to get to the other side but I stopped when I heard Jacob's yelling voice.

"You know what? I thought you were lame before, but now I just think you're a coward Cullen!" Jacob yelled. I pushed through and froze. Jacob had Edward in a shirt grabbing frenzy. My mind closed up for five seconds. I couldn't help myself. I felt hungry, thirsty, I felt so thirsty that I was drinking up Edward's presence.

I almost cried at just seeing him. Knowing he was alright. His bronze, red brown hair was messy, falling over one of his eyes. His green eyes were angrily directed at Jacob. I was breathless for five seconds, frozen in time. But then the agony came rushing back. _He doesn't love you anymore. _A voice whispered in my ears.

Alice was standing with Rosalie, looking absolutely terrified and anxious as she watched Jacob and Edward. Emmett was standing behind Edward, ready to pounce on Jacob if he even punched Edward. Marie and the twins were standing behind Jacob, glaring at Edward.

None of them had noticed me just yet. I stood there quietly, just watching them.

"Do you have any idea what Bella went through when you left?! DO YOU!" Jacob growled, pushing Edward, but Edward was pushing back. Inside my head I wanted Edward so much to say something, anything. But to no avail, he stayed quiet.

I noticed that Alice and Rosalie were both trying to stop the blonde cheerleader from Volterra Prep from pouncing on Jacob's back. The girl's beautiful face was distorted in to an angry expression. Something clicked inside my head just then. There was no other explanation. She had to be Edward's new girlfriend.

Something inside of me gave out creating a hole right where my heart use to be. I felt cold inside as I watched the scene playing out in front of me.

"SHE LOVED YOU SO-" Jacob screamed, but I cut him off. I stepped out of the sidelines and walked inside the circle. Alice's eyes grew wide when she saw me step out of the shadows.

"Bella…" she whispered, but loud enough for people in the circle to hear. Both Jacob and Edward looked at me at the same time. Edward looked shocked to see me there, his eyes were raking me. The cold eyes I remembered looked warm, regretful, and….sad?

I looked at Jacob and tried so hard to keep my voice even and cold. "Enough…" My voice wavered slightly, "That's enough" I said in a much louder voice the second time around. My voice rang with finality. Jacob let go of Edward's collar roughly then walked towards me, so did Marie and the twins.

I heard Alice say my name once again. She was walking towards me. She had tears in her eyes. "I'm so sorry…" she whispered. I saw the agony written across her face. I looked away and blocked out the happy memories before September came along.

I stared at Edward blankly, he was looking at me intensely, pain etched on his face. I turned around and pushed my way through the crowd. .

I didn't give him a backwards glance, I didn't want to feel anything, I just kept walking until I reached the car park. I turned towards my friends.

"I'm sorry that had to happen. Thanks for everything" I said in a small voice.

Marie embraced me and kissed my forehead. "_Pain will soon fade to nothing, and the reasons will go, life must go on, days will pass by, tears will find happy memories, _Always remember that…okay?" she said kindly. I smiled at her. Her words though meant kindly didn't make me feel any better…It didn't make me want to forget.

I got inside the car, starting the ignition. The cold feeling never left me all the way home. If anything, I think it just kept getting worst. I felt frustrated and angry with myself.

Sunset was coming already. I sighed, sooner it was going to be twilight once again. I tried to get rid of the horrible feeling from the bottom of my stomach. Seeing Edward…I wasn't prepared. I felt a piece of me come back momentarily when I looked at him, a piece that right now, as much as I hate to admit it, is painfully gone…again.

I pulled over on the drive way and dragged myself out of the car. I turned the key on the door and walked inside the house. Charlie was waiting for me. I had almost forgotten, he had wanted to talk to me about something. A thought that ridiculously flew out of my mind as soon as I saw Edward and his family.

Charlie was sitting on the couch, looking nervous for some odd reason. "Char-Dad?" I said from around the arch of the door way. "Hey Bells…Um sit down please" he said brightly, smiling at me. Everything about Charlie looked nervous and strained.

"Are you okay? Is something wrong?" I said worriedly, furrowing my eyebrows. Charlie laughed out loud at me, as if I was a child and I was acting overly ridiculous.

"Of course I'm fine! So how was the championship?" he asked. I flinched slightly and looked down. I knew he was stalling so I looked at him squarely.

"What is it dad?" I started impatiently. He frowned at me then sighed.

"I guess it can't be helped, so here goes" he said, his voice shaking a bit. Then something clicked…_oh god, please don't let it be the sex talk, please don't let it be the sex talk…please don't let it be…_

"Were moving to Alaska" Charlie blurted out. My mind froze then I stood up abruptly. "WHAT?!" I screamed. Charlie's face clouded with panic as he tried to make me sit back down.

"Bella, please calm down…" he started, "Well I got asked to work there, they said there's no one else who can do it…And well…I said yes…" he said in a weak voice. I was still on my feet. In my head the same thing kept repeating. _The Cullen's lives somewhere in Alaska, The Cullen's lives somewhere in Alaska, The Cullen's lives somewhere in Alaska. _

I continued to hold the shock expression in my face. "I know Bella, it's the last place you wanna go to but-" I was shaking my head furiously.

"No…no, no, no ,no! I'll go to Renee's then! You can go!" I said triumphantly, trying to hold on to the concept of staying in Jacksonville. But Charlie was shaking his head.

"I already called up Renee, they're not home right now, her and Phil are both in New York, they are going to be travelling around a lot as well because of Phil" Charlie said apologetically.

"I'm afraid you have no choice Bells, you're coming with me" he said gently. I looked at him in dismay. I let out a frustrated yell.

"Urgh! You hate me don't you?!" I said childishly stamping my foot. Then I stormed up the stairs and slammed my door shut.

I buried my head under the blanket and screamed.

The only positive thing I can possibly think of as of this moment is that Alaska is a pretty big place. What are the chances of me going to the same school as Edward and everyone else? Right? Right?

Urgh I am so stupid!! Why didn't I ask Charlie for more information? Oh right…Because I was too…What's that British word? Right, _Distraught._

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**Author's note:**

Hey guys, a million thanks to those fantastical readers who reviewed the last chapter despite the fact that it was very fillery, urgh! Just.another.temptation, princessxlily, Mandyyy, Twilightistotallyawesome, soccer16, debcripps, Rachelandthecupcakecrusades, edward-luver961, SaraKlumHalpertBanks, Luvntwilight, slowes. Thanks a lot guys!! Y'all made my day with those reviews and comments!!


	5. Chapter 5

Hey guys! Thank you so much for the reviews last time! Sorry for the later update! I had an exam yesterday, then I had to go to an excursion today. I am truly sorry, things sucks right now, I can't stand it!! I only have 40 something days left till High school is over. I can't help but feel a sense of nostalgia coming on. So anyway please REVIEW! And also tell me what you thought of breaking dawn! (Another reason why I wasn't able to update straight away!) Spesh thanks to:

**DISCLAIMER: **I DO NOT OWN JACKSHIT…except for characters that you may not recognise!! (Thanks to Stephenie Meyer and Sarra Manning)

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**First Day all over again**

**Part 5**

**February 9**

I don't know why I continue to be so stubborn. I know that all I need to do is ask Charlie for details but I just can't pluck up the courage to say anything to him. My goodbye to everyone was very abrupt, Sam and Sean didn't see it coming, their reaction kind of mystified me too, they started singing "Don't you dare" by Alexz Johnson, they even made an emphasis on the line "_I could say that I don't care, but the truth is I'd follow you anywhere". _Seriously, the stupid things that they do!

But I think Jacob reacted the worst out of everyone. He cracked up laughing then threw a fit….it was kind of scary…

"You're kidding right?" he had said after laughing out loud. I looked away, not wanting him to see the desperation in my eyes. The desperation to stay, the desperation to tell Charlie to go and screw Alaska. **Of course **I didn't say that. I might think it, but I don't think I can ever tell Charlie to go and _screw Alaska_. I'm too damn polite for that.

Jacob looked at me incredulously for a second then hit the closest thing he could get a hold of. I felt sorry for the flower pots that got in his way. I'm telling you, Jacob is no sweet teddy bear . I watched as the flower pots got incinerated in front of me.

"This sucks…" was all I could say. We sat on the beach for quiet sometime until I had to leave. "Don't… forget me alright?" he said hesitatingly, his voice was hushed. My heart sunk a little. I never wanted to leave Jacob, but I

I hugged him tightly, letting him stroke my hair for a while until _he _was the one who had to pull _me_ off of him. "Go on you silly girl! Charlie is probably waiting for you. When are you leaving?" he asked in an exhausted voice. Tears began to leak from the sides of my eyes, "Tomorrow…" I said in a small voice. I heard him sniff before he closed my door.

"I'll miss you Jake" my voice quavered slightly.

"I'll miss you too. Don't do anything stupid alright?" he said in a low voice. Despite the tears that were streaking down my cheeks I laughed anyway. "Hell no, when I come back, I'll be covered in tattoos and married to a biker" I said jokingly. Jacob chuckled at that.

"Don't forget to email me once you arrive" he said, smiling bravely. I could tell he was sad. His eyes looked like they were tearing up, his russet skin was slightly flushed, and he was sniffling a lot. I closed my eyes then smiled at him.

Damn it, we've only just boarded, and I miss him already. Charlie is sitting right beside me right now, snoring lightly. I'm still not happy with him, I'm still clueless as to where the hell were suppose to be staying, Alaska is pretty…vast. I mean what are the chances of us landing in Denali right?

Yup, I'm feeling so dejected right now, I completely forgot to mention, Volterra Preparatory is in Denali.

* * *

**February 9 (later)**

I've been on this flight for two hours now. My butt is aching right now. Charlie is finally awake. I've looked out the window at least a million times. Can't get any better, all I can see is ice.

I'm guessing we'll be there by 6:00 PM. I still don't know where Charlie had been offered the job, but I know that the plane is going to land in Fairbanks. And if my sources are right, Fairbanks is suppose to be one of the closest airports to Denali. In case your wondering why Denali would be so important right now, Denali is where Volterra Prep is situated.

If by some dumb luck I do end up going to Volterra Prep, help me god; I will kill someone. But like I said, low chances of getting inside that snob school. Besides, Charlie wouldn't put me there, I'm sure that the fees are expensive…

Urgh! What am I talking about, we are not that poor. If dad was able to send me to my old snob school, what are the chances of him enrolling me to another stupid snob school. I can't stand this!

* * *

**February 9 (Much later)**

Dum da da dum! Hahahahahaha, hilarious! Why don't you just tie a noose around my head and get it over and done with?! Faith must be having such a good time wrecking my life, because wait for it, insert flashing lights, then insert flashing sign that says 'Jackpot' on it, hold your breathes…We are officially in the middle of nowhere!

I hate snow! I hate, hate, hate the cold!! Why didn't I persevere? Why didn't I trash about demanding I stayed over at Renee's? Why? Why? WHY?! Because I'm an idiot that's why.

I know I'm acting childish, I know I'm being very ungrateful, but why oh why am I here? In Denali of all places! I can't stand this. It has to be a joke, it just has to be.

When the plane landed I peeked out of my window and sighed. We finally landed in Fairbanks. I could see the mountains, I could definitely see that it was snowing. I huffed in distaste. Charlie looked at me exhaustedly.

"Bella, please…not now. I'm tired, don't be like this" he said in a weak voice. Charlie sounded so resigned. I felt guilty. I made a promise to _someone _a long time ago that I wouldn't give Charlie a hard time. But with everything that's happened, I can't help it. I mean for once I'm acting like a teenager, not the forty year old woman stuck in a child's body (Don't ask me, ask mum).

I sighed loudly and kept my mouth shut. Letting my black mood take me over. When the plane finally stopped, I quickly got up and yanked my carry bag out of the compartment above our seats. People all around us were slowly getting up as well. I pushed through the people and ignored the stewardess when she haughtily told me to get back to my seat.

I could hear Charlie calling after me from behind. The plane door had already been opened. I was taken aback by the cold breeze that met my face. I looked up and cringed. It was snowing. A snowflake dropped on my head and I shook it off of me.

I probably looked like a lamington, but I didn't care. I stood at the bottom of the stairs and waited for Charlie impatiently. I could tell that my sullen mood was slowly catching up. Charlie followed me down and glared at me.

We were both in such bad moods that walking between the large stretch run way to the checkout point became very difficult. I could taste the tension in the air. I stubbornly kept my eyes away from Charlie and walked on ahead.

The lady on the checkout was smiling brightly at me. I forced a smile, she ignored my grimace and continued smiling. She took my passport and stamped something on it and gave it back to me, then she took Charlie's passport and did the same thing. She showed her teeth and gave us a winning smile. "Enjoy your stay Mr. and Miss Swan" she said brightly.

I gave her a forced smile. She creeps me out a little bit. We collected out luggage then walked out of the airport in silence, not once talking to each other. It made me feel bad considering everything we've both been thru. It wasn't right to treat him the way I did.

But Charlie hailed a cab quietly while I continued to brood. The cold air was starting to go through the thin material of my jacket. I knew I should have put on even more layers, but my anxiety got the better of me. I couldn't think straight, I pretty much just stuffed whatever I could find in my luggage. A lot of what was inside my carry bag were presents from my eighteenth birthday that I had decided to keep.

It included the bracelet Jacob had given me, a friendship bracelet that I never wore anymore from Alice, and of course a cassette tape from Edward that included some songs he composed for me. Despite the fact that they all left me, I still held on to their things as though it was the most important treasure to me.

They had been buried under my bed for four months. As I rummaged through my old things, I felt nostalgia when I came across the box filled with letters and little trinkets that I had collected over the years. The trinkets were priceless, however the letters held sentimental values to me. They were letters I wrote to Edward that he never read. Looking back on the earlier times, back when the feeling was still raw I felt that it wasn't over. Whatever Edward and I had was nowhere near finished. I wrote to him for thirty days, thirty pointless letters, I wondered how many trees had to suffer because of me.

I sighed and stuffed the letters in the carry bag along with my other little treasures. I felt the feeling of sadness, I felt the urge to cry. But I pushed it down, crying was useless, it had never amount to anything good.

A white cab stopped in front of us. The cold breeze swept my hair slightly. The driver got out of the cab and opened the trunk for us. He helped us put all of our luggage inside the trunk. Charlie motioned for me to get inside the car and I didn't hesitate.

I just sat there quietly. My temper had subsided a little…just a little. When Charlie finally joined me inside the cab I looked out the window, seemingly zoned out. I was unconsciously drumming my finger against the seat between my legs, creating a steady rhythm inside my head.

When the cab began to move, the driver looked at the two of us from his rear view mirror. The silence was almost deafening. The driver awkwardly coughed as we passed by a small town.

I could see a mountain covered in snow from a distance, from the car the view looked magnificent. Not too bad if I say so myself. It didn't change the fact that I still hated snow though. The river coughed once again. "So sir…Are we just going to drive around in circle or did you have an address in mind?" the driver said in a dry voice.

I looked at him. He was bald, his head shone from the natural light, he was stocky built, and I noticed the smile lines that ran up and down his cheeks.

Charlie sat up straighter and coughed as well. "Just through to the Denali National Park thanks" Charlie said casually. I think my eyes popped out of their sockets when he said Denali. _Why the hell are we going to a park? _I thought bitterly to myself. _And to Denali too! _I added to myself furiously.

The driver's face lit up as he abruptly turned around smiling widely at Charlie. "You wouldn't be the new chief scout are you?!" the driver asked enthusiastically. Charlie shrugged and blushed slightly. "Yeah, that would be me" he said casually.

The driver clapped his hands together. "Ahh! What a great pleasure to meet you sir! We are all very thankful! we were so worried we weren't going to get another leader!" the driver babbled on and on. "By the way! My name is Miller" he chatted conversationally.

Charlie just nodded. I could tell that he wasn't in the mood to exchange pleasantries with strangers. All the while Charlie was being harassed by the overly enthusiastic Miller, all I could think about was _holy shit!_

I covered my face with my two hands, refusing to listen to Miller's chatter about the wildlife in the area. Miller had looked at me, slightly offended. "Don't worry, she's just tired" Charlie reassured in a weak voice.

I didn't even bother telling Charlie the high risk of running in to one of the Cullen's. Charlie still had no idea that we had just moved to the same town as the Cullen's.

So please, you can laugh if you want, I'm going to go and wallow in self pity. Things are even worst now. Charlie just came in and gave me a leaflet that had information about the high school he had enrolled me in. And written across the white and royal blue glossy paper was "Volterra Preparatory School"

* * *

**February 11 (Somewhere in the back of the school-free period)**

Today was my first day in Volterra Prep. I don't know what I expected, but they sure didn't expect me. I had woken up in the morning and rushed my self ready. I slipped on some faded blue jeans, two layers of long sleeve shirts, and a thick woolly jacket.

I looked around my brand new room and couldn't help but feel homesick. I missed my old room. The house the department had loaned us was fairly big. It was made entirely of red/brown bricks. Inside was styled with thick brown and red carpets, and marble tiles. The house looked beautiful somehow.

I felt uncomfortable being inside the house, and I could tell that I wasn't the only one. Charlie had cringed when he saw the big house when we first came. It was awfully showy. Then I heard that the department was also paying my tuition. Then it clicked; If they could afford to give us this monstrosity as a house, then I'm sure they'll be able to shove me inside the exclusive snob school.

Not only that, but when I came down the stairs and looked out the window this morning, I'm pretty sure I just had a mild heart attack. Parked outside along with Charlie's white and blue cruiser was a red fourth generation Mitsubishi Eclipse.

Their explanation? "Why, we want you to fit right in, Bella!" Sgt. Johnson said enthusiastically. But I really couldn't see the bright side of things. I now live in a big house, and I own a pretty car, how bad can it be right? Well you remember that part of me that just wants to melt against the wall? Well I was planning of doing that for a couple of weeks, but with a flashy car, sooner or later people will know where I live by looking at the student handbook, I'm sure they would have one.

The car felt slick when I was driving it, compared to the guttural noises my red chevy use to make.

The school it self sure held its own. It looked magnificent. At first I thought that I was lost. The trail that I had to follow delved deep in to the forest. However, a soon as I saw a clearing, my breath was taken away as soon as the school came in to my line of vision. So the rumours were true. Volterra Prep was really a castle. I'm not even kidding! As the trail got wider, the trees became few. Then I saw the old castle that looked like it was brought out from a story book.

I counted four main towers, the whole thing was made out of stone. I couldn't see thru the dark windows, however I could see a couple of people hanging around the roof top of the castle. Instead of having a drawbridge, the school had a gigantic iron gate. On the side was the car park.

I drove through the silent car park. I knew I was late, I admit, I did it on purpose. Charlie didn't seem to mind. I felt the anxiety building up inside as I stepped out of the car.

I pulled on my clothes, feeling utterly self conscious. I just knew that the place was going to be even worse than Forks High School. At least in Forks nobody had TOO MUCH money to flaunt around. However as I went through the car park, I saw different models of expensive cars ranging from slick SUV coupes, to new generation beetles, to Porsche Fererras, I even saw a hummer. The money flaunting was starting to make me feel sick.

I walked out of the car park hastily. I ran towards the entrance of the castle, as soon as I stepped inside, I gasped. The outside might have looked old and ancient, the inside interior of the school was a completely different thing.

The first thing that greeted me was the school crest. The same alpine logo I saw a couple of days ago. I observed the green lines that traced around the blue rocks. I stepped back slightly when I realized that the green 'lines' sparkled, which could only mean it was probably made out of emeralds, while the blue 'rocks' also sparkled…I'm pretty sure they were sapphires.

The walls where made out of hard material glass that sort of laminated the stone walls. Up and down the corridors where images from the art department as well as images of the new reconstructed sites around the school. There was security standing just outside. Despite the ancient exterior of the castle, everything inside the school looked brand new. I could tell that even the smallest piece of wood was made out of expensive material.

A woman sat on the front desk looking at me warily. "Can I help you?" she said in a wheezy voice. She took in my casual appearance with a critical eye. I ignored the burning feeling inside my stomach.

"Um…I'm new…" I started. The only raised her eyebrows at me. I felt uncomfortable under her intimidating gaze. I swallowed slightly. "I'm Bella Swan" I said simply.

The lady's wary face turned in to a smile. "Ah…Miss Swan. Your father did call. I hope your feeling better, must be one hell of a stomach bug you had eh?" she said conversationally. I stared at the badge she was wearing, it said 'Hi I'm Candy!" on it.

I just nodded and blushed even more. "Yeah…Um so I was wondering where the office was" I said in a low voice. I brushed the fringe that fell on the right hand side of my eyes. Candy got up and smiled, "Ahh I'll take you to Principal Masters!" she said enthusiastically.

On the way to the office, I observed Candy closely. She had long blonde curls that wouldn't seem to lay flat. She looked like she was about twenty six, and her eyes were the colour of turquoise. She chattered on and on about the school, but my mind was in a different hemisphere.

I knew I would run in to Edward or Alice either today or the next day. I was trying to mentally prepare myself. I didn't know what I would say to them. I didn't even know if they would acknowledge my presence.

I knew that nothing would ever prepare me when the time does come. I don't even know what to say to them. I still have letters under my bed addressed to Edward for crying out loud!

My thoughts were interrupted as soon as Candy stopped walking. She stopped right in front a white door that said 'Faculty' on it. Candy opened the door and let me in. The whole ordeal with principal Masters wasn't as bad as I expected.

She was quite nice actually. She was quite young too! Her ginger locks were slick and straight, and her warm brown eyes welcomed me to the school. She showed great sympathy to me, as though she knew that maybe I wouldn't fit right in.

She gave me my schedule for the rest of the day. I also looked at my subjects, I had completely dropped drama this year. It was pretty pointless, I really didn't need it anyway. _English, World History, Biology, Spanish, Literature, Gym. _I looked at the last part. How the hell did I end up with gym?!

I tried to push the ugly thoughts that floated in my mind….broken limbs, broken ankle…complete humiliation. I sighed and continued to my second period class. I was already late for world history, but Ms. Jenkins didn't seem to mind.

I looked around at the new faces, each and everyone turned towards me in extreme curiosity. My heart was beating really fast as I sat down next to a pretty girl with hazel eyes, and long dark brown hair that fell on her back in soft ringlets. Her skin was almost the same colour as mine. While I'm pasty, hers was a beautiful ivory.

She gave me a bored expression before she went back to staring out the window. I noticed the ring she was wearing. I also noticed the fat gem sitting right in the middle. My brain calculator instantly went off the rocket as I tried to guess how much the ridiculous ring cost.

To my right a beautiful girl with black hair and pink streaks was doodling on her piece of paper, she looked like she was half Spanish. Her skin gave out a brilliant bronze glow, her almond shape eyes framed the light brown colour. The two of them were the only ones who weren't gaping at me.

For the rest of World History, the three of us were put in a group to list down the different dictators of the world. I found out that the girl with the soft brown curls was Jill Carson, while the other one was Maya Hunter. From the looks of things they were misfits. Nobody bothered to talk to them, nobody even bothered to look at them.

The two of them kept giving me dirty looks. I could see why, perhaps they liked the lack of attention, which now, thanks to me, had decreased stupendously. It seemed that nobody knew that I was coming. Thank god, or else it would have been Forks all over again…or not.

Nobody introduced themselves in the morning, so I'm guessing nobody knew who I was. During recess I was about to walk inside the cafeteria when I heard a familiar voice heading my way. I quickly hid behind the notice boards and waited until Alice walked by. Alice looked brilliant as ever. She was practically prancing around, saying hi to everybody she bumped in to.

Instead of looking at her as though she was freak, all the boys just seemed to find her adorable, while the girls envied her. I froze for a minute, waiting for the impact, or the hurt to come alive once again. All I felt was a dull tugging on my heart, but it was faint.

I sighed heavily and walked towards the opposite direction, deciding to stay out doors for the reminder of recess.

As soon as the bell went, I grabbed everything I needed for English and headed there. No one else was in the room. I crept inside and sat on the furthest seat at the back where nobody would take notice of me.

I was doodling on the back of my brand new text book when people started piling inside the room. It turned out Jill and Maya were in the same class as me. They both headed towards the back. I was surprised when they both smiled at me and took the two seats next to me. But they didn't say anything else though.

It was as if the three of us didn't even exist. The door opened once again and I held my breath. Alice pranced inside the room, chatting to someone who I've only ever seen once. It was that blonde girl from the game. Edward's girlfriend. I lowered my head, and stacked up the books in front of me so nobody would see my face.

I hid behind the pile of books and kept my head down through out the whole lesson. Not once did people look back at us. Every now and then I would notice Maya pulling at the sleeves of her jumper, while Jill fidgeted.

Our English teacher Mr. Hill told us to keep a journal for weekly accessing. I looked at _my own _journal and thought, _brilliant, more trees to kill! _(Sarcasm intended). During the long period, I would look up just to see what Alice was doing. I could feel someone's eyes on me, I looked to my left and twice I caught Maya staring at me with an odd expression.

I felt like I was being put on the spot light constantly. I was so glad when the bell for lunch finally went.

I let everybody else pile out of the room before I slowly got up. Jill and Maya were both gone already. I walked past Mr. Hill without a word. I started heading towards my locker when I stopped abruptly. Standing only a couple of feet away from me was Alice, the blonde girl, and…Edward.

I felt my heart stop for a few seconds as I drank in Edward's presence. The urge to touch him raised up inside of me, making me glow from the inside. However the glow was instantly put off as soon as the blonde girl kissed Edward full on the lips. I felt my heart ache then. It felt like the underlining layer of my heart was being torn apart. I hastily turned around and started heading towards the door when somebody yelled out my name.

"BELLA!!" said two familiar voices. I froze, I could feel three pairs of eyes staring straight at my back. I closed my eyes and tried to control the erratic beating of my heart, it was starting to hurt. I imagined the lining of my heart of be bruised due to the rate it was slamming against my skin.

When I opened my eyes I slowly spun around and was taken aback when I saw Sean and Sam rounding the corner. They were both heading my way, grinning widely. Majority of the female eyes were glued on the twins at that very moment. I could even hear a couple of sighs…please, vomititious!

Sean reached me first, he enveloped me in a bear hug, ignoring my complaints. To make matters worst, Sam jumped on top of us as well. I felt like my bones were going to be crushed. I pushed the two of them away to get some air.

"OH MY GOD! WHAT THE HELL?!" I said dumbly. Sam and Sean were laughing their heads of at me. "Ahh you dense little girl!" Sam said happily.

"You didn't really think that we would let you off that easy again, did you?" Sean added mischievously. The two of them gave each other high fives, and both smiled a matching smug smile.

I was still speechless, I wanted to say something, anything. But the only thing that came out of my mouth was a shriek. Then I jumped on the two of them. I was so glad to see them both. "Bells, you're the reason why we even moved to Forks you know?" Sam said kindly. "Besides, how did you think we were going to protect you from insensitive ex boyfriends if we weren't here with you?!" Sean added. At that, I quickly turned towards where Alice and Edward stood.

Edward was staring at me. His mouth was hanging open, and beautiful face was contorted in to a pained expression. I saw Alice mouth my name. But I turned away from them. Instead I turned to the twins and for once celebrated. I wanted to forget for once, I wanted to be distracted. That's exactly what they did. They entertained me, pulling pranks on each other until they got sick of it.

When lunch time was finally over, I realized that I had another free period. The twins left for class and I was left on my own once again. I decided to head towards my locker, however I stopped abruptly when I saw Edward. I warily noticed the hand he held. The blonde girl gave me an arrogant look, my gaze shifted to Edward who was looking at me. The two of them had stopped walking for some reason, both of them were looking at me expectantly; The blonde girl with distaste, Edward with an agonized expression. I looked at him coldly and brushed past him. His familiar scent stayed with me, even now the scent of winter and sweet honey is still with me.

In the space of two months, in my dreams Edward had always looked beautiful. But seeing him full on once again, god was I an idiot! My dreams can't even bloody compare to the real thing, it didn't do any justice what so ever.

I really don't know what to do now…I know I wont be able to avoid him. A part of me wants to punish him for what he's done to me, while another part just wants to forget. The latter just seem so hard to do right now, while the former would only hurt me, not only that, It would also prove what a pathetic loser I am. So my choice? Do nothing at all…just be invisible….

* * *

**To: Jacob Black**

**Fr: Isabella Swan**

Dear Jake,

Ahhh, Alaska is beautiful. I'm being smothered by rich things, and I don't know how I'm going to get myself out of this one! When I woke up this morning I found a big red car parked outside the humungous house the department had loan my family.

A big red car Jake…The type that you would like actually. I just came back from school. I can't say I enjoyed it very much, did I mention I'm enrolled in Volterra Preparatory? Did I also mention the twins are here too? Yeah I know, holy smokes! I also know what your thinking Jake. Yeah, _he's _here, but I'll be fine…I promise.

Charlie is fine…I think. I mean were not talking still. I'm being as stubborn as a mule, but what did you expect huh? Charlie and I will patch things up again…I know it. Just…not now, you know?

I miss you so much, hope you are having fun there!

Much Love,

Bella

* * *

**To: **Bella Swan

**Fr: **Jacob Black

Dear Bella,

Damn it woman! Come back right now! A monster is after me!! I don't know why the twins didn't bring their pet with them as well. Yes, Marie is still here! She's not shutting up! She thinks she's being funny with her lame jokes, and silly spandex (long story)!!

Anyway, you better be fine Bella, and that loser better not do anything to you. You've been put through so much. Are you sure you're really fine though? Coz you know, I'll be there, super hero cape and all! Wink wink!

Okay I better go, I have practice, but please tell the twins to take the annoying monster as well, before she kills me with songs from Camp Rock (Another long story Bella)

Love, Love,

Jacob

* * *

**REVIEWERS CORNER: **

**devilslawyer123**- As much as we all want to burn Edward at the stake, we all know we can't, your right!! I'd feel guilty too!

**margaritama****- **only I know what will happen!! LOL hahaa Thanks so much for the review!

**Twilightistotallyawesome****- **Don't cryyyyy!!

**flower123****- **Now she's in Alaska, what do you think?

**knj323**- Edward is a bit wary when it comes to taking chances :0) It's a lesson he's going to have to learn in this one!!

**peaceloveandedward****- **Why thank you!

**Just.another.temptation- **Woo hoo! Ten outta ten!!


	6. Chapter 6

Hey, hey! So here's another chapter! Thank you so much for all of the reviews last time! You guys never fail to amaze me. So anyway I hope you like this chapter…I don't know, some of you might find it a little uneventful.

**DISCLAIMER: **I DO NOT OWN JACKSHIT…except for characters that you may not recognise!! (Thanks to Stephenie Meyer and Sarra Manning)

**Forgiveness is more than saying sorry**

**Part 6**

**February 12 **

All day today I kept getting a strange sense of déjà vu. For the first time since I've been here, I sat down in the cafeteria. Everything about the place screamed out grandeur. The extravagant cafeteria, or the dining room as the Voleterreans like to call it, pretty much kicked the cafeteria from Forks out of this world.

It had two levels, there were two stairs leading up in the second level. The whole place had the glass laminate all around it, and right in the heart of the inside dining was the gigantic Volterra Preparatory crest. I recognized the crest, everybody knows that the school crest is actually the Volturi's crest. They were the rich family that ran the whole school.

I sat by myself. People kept passing by me without a care in the world until they realize that there is actually somebody sitting on my spot, and that I'm not just a pigment of their hyperactive imagination. I was eating my lunch self consciously. The cafeteria wasn't packed just yet.

I had deliberately rushed to the dining room to avoid the attention, for I knew that at least one of the Cullens would be eating in the cafeteria if not both. I hadn't seen the twins all day either, while Maya and Jill were as impassive as ever.

I know it was only my second day, but you know, I would have liked it if they had introduced themselves officially to me. From what I could see Maya and Jill were not the most popular girls in the school despite their gorgeousness.

I sighed as I quietly observed the scene playing out in front of me. Even though there weren't any clear cliques, I can still tell who's popular and who isn't. I noticed that everybody mingled with almost everyone here, but there were still some misfits. I watched the table right in the very heart of the whole cafeteria.

So far from what I could the only boys who sat there looked like they belonged to either an underwear catalogue, or they just stepped out of a Calvin Klein billboard, while the girls looked like they just stepped out of the 'Victoria's top secret' fashion show.

I sighed, compared to what they were wearing, my own clothes looked like rags. I could see that Alice would have definitely fit in right away.

I bit in to my sandwich and let out another sigh. Alaska was proving to be so difficult. I mean I can't believe I had to go through the painful process of the first day of school. It was like Forks all over again.

Now on the second day, I finally figured out my status in my new school; Wilting wall flower. Meh, its not so bad I guess. They don't want to stare at me, and I definitely don't want to stare at them.

I became so absorbed in my own thoughts that I almost jumped when I felt someone flop right beside me. I turned to find Jill sitting on my left, keeping a safe distance from me, while Maya sat on my right, holding a tray.

The three of us just sort of sat there in awkward silence. Jill was playing with her food, while Maya was smacking bubbles against her lips. I felt like squirming, but how weird would that have been?

Jill brushed her dark brown hair and carefully stuffed some nachos in her mouth. After a few moments, I bit in to my inferior sandwich awkwardly, I felt like I was eating under a microscope. I felt like I was being watched.

The fact that the two school misfits sat next to me caught some peoples attention. I blushed furiously and looked down. I heard the double French doors opened, and watched as Alice sauntered inside the dining room for a second. My body reacted almost instantaneously and I ended up ducking down.

I could feel Maya and Jill staring at me, but I ignored them. I could see Alice's shoes from where I hid. I didn't resurface until she was gone. On the way up, I accidentally banged my head against the table. The table made a massive banging sound followed by my groans. I was starting to see stars. I could hear Maya chuckling beside me, while Jill snorted.

My face became red as a beetroot. When I looked back at the entrance my heart stopped beating all together, added with the thumping in my head, I froze for a minute. Edward was standing there staring back at me.

I don't know…But he looked like he wanted to say something to me, I looked down and noticed his clenched fists. I looked back up again, I couldn't even pretend to look at him as though I hated him. Everything in me just kind of melted away. I wanted to wipe the sad expression on his face, but my face turned sour once I saw his strawberry blonde girlfriend behind him.

The girl haughtily grabbed his hands and dragged him towards the table where Alice sat with the rest of the good looking bunch I saw earlier. I looked down at my sandwich, stabbing it repeatedly with Maya's fork. Well…I needed to get it out of my system, and stabbing was the only thing that worked for me.

Maya was looking at me with an amused expression, while Jill chuckled. "Looks like Cullen has found himself another admirer" Jill muttered to herself almost inaudibly. Maya snorted then pointed. "That's Tanya Garcia. She's a downright cow, that one" Maya said. I noticed that she had a slight French accent.

"Cow? That doesn't even begin to describe her royal bumness" Jill started, her voice light and slightly dramatic. "Besides, cows are suppose to be cute, Tanya Garcia is so not cute!" she said, her tone was joking.

Maya looked at Tanya, deep in thought. "Hmm you're right…She's so hot, she's probably an arsonist" Maya laughed at her own joke. I just sort of sat between them. They were talking…_to me. What the hell. _

Jill eyed Maya in disgrace. "That was bad, you should be burnt for that" Jill said haughtily. "Anyway, so what's up with that?" Maya said pointedly. I looked back at her in confusion.

"What's up with what?" I said dumbly. Maya rolled her eyes then snorted. "You and Edward, its like every time you see him you look kind of agro and scary then you sort of melt and go a little gah-gah" she said, rising up her hands to demonstrate my lack of sanity.

I frowned at her then shook my head. "I. Do. Not. Go. Gah-gah!" I said in a hushed tone. Jill just shook her head. "Okay buddy, whatever floats your boat" Maya grinned, her slight French accent twirling on every word.

I was about to say something when I was distracted by the rough yanking of the double French doors.

As the doors flung open, Sam and Sean flew to the room. All of the girls were eyeing them, I know that they're cute and all, but please! Were the drooling and the gaping really necessary? I ignored the pathetic freshmen girls and ducked my head under the table once again.

But too late, they already saw me. All around I could hear people muttering. I heard Alice's voice above everyone else. "Oh so she did hide away from me!" Alice said, her voice ringing melodiously in the air. I let out a sigh and grinned sheepishly at the twins. They were holding out a piece of paper in one hands, while they used the other hand to pull me up from under the table.

Before I could even say anything, the two of them started cussing.

"Okay, who in their right mind would put you in gym class?" Sean exclaimed none too quietly. I felt the roots of my head getting warmer once again.

"Don't they know that you've got two left feet" Sam added.

"And that you're a walking cripple?!" Sean exclaimed once again.

I knew that everybody's attention were on us at that very moment. I wanted to kick them both, but my mouth stayed glued. Then as if to add it just so the embarrassment would be stamped across my forehead for the rest of the day;

"What is the world coming to?!" they both exclaim in unison.

I covered my face with my hands and let out a frustrated sigh. I whacked Sean in the stomach, and pinched Sam's back side. The two of them let out disturbing squeals and I instantly let them go. _What the flying pig was that? _I thought to myself.

I laughed uncontrollably at them.

The other two on the other hand just stared at the three of us. Jill looked bored again. She looked at either Sam or Sean then let out a sigh. "Anyone ever told you its rude to scream out others misfortunes Striker?" Jill said coldly.

Sam hovered just above her and looked down at her menacingly. "Uh, excuse me, I, Sam Striker, do not scream-" he started but he was cut off. Jill stood up and levelled with him. "Oh yes you did, you screamed like a little girl screaming for ice cream, wah wah wah!" she said, doing a very bad imitation of Sam's squeal.

I, on the other hand looked at them, utterly mystified. "You guys know each other?" I said slowly. Jill looked at me then shrugged. "Meh, I've known him since I was five, he use to run around naked outside my house" she said coldly, then she smirked at him, then looked down. I saw Sam blush under her ministrations…I mean he actually blushed! I mean, this is Sam were talking about!

"Actually come to think of it I bet you haven't changed much down there, have you?" Jill smirked at him. Sean was backing away awkwardly while Sam and Jill made a scene.

The two of them were fighting like an old married couple.

Sam looked at her coldly. "Why did you want me to show-" he started, but I cut him off. Over share much? I looked to Maya who was watching the two of them with an amused expression.

"Do you by any chance value your peace and quiet?" I asked warily. Maya let out a laugh then nodded in agreement. She looked back at Jill and the twins, "Let us know once the honeymoon is over alright?" she snorted once again. "We'll see you in English" Maya said brightly.

As Maya and I walked out, I couldn't help but look at Alice's table. Half of them were staring at us, while the other half were still staring at the bickering two. "Hey, what's the new girl doing with Maya Hunter?" I heard someone whisper.

My eyes locked with Tanya Garcia's cool gaze for a second. Her pale blue eyes stared at me condescendingly, her perfect eyebrows drawn in a frown, her red lips were pouting at me, already I could read her thoughts, _how dare such inferior creature cross my line of vision?! _I ignored the unsettling feeling I got in my stomach and continued out the door, but not before I noticed a girl sitting in the far end of the cafeteria smirking at me.

Then as if the expression was never there, she looked back at me innocently. Her large green eyes were looking back at me, her pale skin was soft and smooth, and she was so tiny sitting by herself. It looked almost heartbreaking.

She smiled at me, and I couldn't help but smile back. Maya looked at the girl momentarily too. Something passed between the two of them before Maya and I passed through the door. I looked at Maya with a puzzled look. She looked back at me the looked away again. "That was Jane Volturi" she said simply.

I choked on my own spit and looked at her. "That was JANE EFFING VOLTURI?! OH MY GOD!" I said out loud. Maya looked at me with an amused expression. She nodded, "Yeah that was her. I don't know, I don't like her" she said quietly. I didn't understand her. I mean Jane Volturi looked innocent…

But then again maybe she was forced to behave that way…being the daughter of one of the most powerful family in the world and all. I pushed the thought of the innocent little girl and followed Maya.

There were very few people around the yard. It was a very cold day after all, majority of the Volterra students were in doors. I hugged myself yet again, it seemed that my own clothes just wasn't going to cut. I thought about my own closet and closed my eyes. The only seriously warm clothes I had the were the clothes I never intended to wear.

They were the designer ones from Alice. I cringed at the thought of all of the warm fleece jumpers, and the thick woolly jackets. Then my heart went out to the thought of the warm cardigans and the warm pants.

As we pass the fourth tower Maya abruptly stopped and sat on the slope over looking the man made lake. I sat down next to her and we just sat there in silence. I was still pondering about my closet when Maya spoke up.

"Uh, I know we have never been officially introduced…but I'm Maya Hunter, my dramatic friend back there was Jill Carson" she smiled, holding up her hand. I shook it and smiled back at her. "Bella Swan" I muttered.

She flicked her dark hair, the pink cherry blossom streak was a complete contrast. She nodded at me, "Wow, you must hate it huh? I mean you don't have to chill with us. We'll understand" she said nonchalantly. I frowned at her in confusion.

"What are you talking about?" I said, sincerely confused. She shook her head. "Haven't you noticed?" she asked, "Were not exactly the most popular duo" she said good-naturedly.

I shrugged, "I don't care, I can pretty much tell who's good and who's bad" I said casually. Maya nodded. "So…" she started, she was twirling her hands around, playing with the grass. "You never did answer my question. What's up with you and the Cullens?" she asked casually. I could see it in her eyes, I knew she was burning to know the truth.

"Ex-boyfriend and Ex-best friend" I said simply. Well, it was true, its just the simplest way I could put it without being too damn dramatic about it. Maya was staring at me with wide eyes. "OH MY GOD! YOU USE TO DATE EDWARD?" she exclaimed, pausing for effect, "THE EDWARD CULLEN?" she asked loudly. Thank God we were alone.

"Yeah, we were together about four months ago" I said in a small voice. "Looks like it didn't take him long to get over me," I laughed bitterly, "I'm guessing I probably didn't mean that much to him then" I sighed. I knew I was downplaying it a bit, Maya completely saw right through me.

"Boys are such rats…" Maya started harshly. I looked at her, she pitied me, that was obvious, but for some reason she looked resentful too. "So what? He just moved away and decided to take the cowardly way out of things?" she asked in a low voice.

I nodded, "Yeah…Don't worry about me, I'm fine really" I said, not too convincingly. She raised her eyebrows at me. "But, he's there…Don't you at least want revenge or something?" she asked slowly. The picture of burning Edward at the stake flashed through my mind. "Nope" I lied.

"So, what are you planning on doing?" she continued. I laid on my back and stared at the clear sky. I ignored the wet feeling on the small of my back. "I was planning on drifting…just be…invisible" I said casually, closing my eyes on the last word.

I heard her snort and my eyes opened once again. "You? Invisible? Good luck with that!" she said, half laughing to herself. I looked at her in confusion. "What?" I asked, confused. Maya rolled her eyes.

"Yeah well lets look at the facts…You've got looks, so boys will constantly want your attention, you're a klutz, and with those two harebrained twins" she said counting off with her fingers, "You chances of being invisible are way under the negatives" she said rationally.

I gave her a sour look. "Hey don't look at me like that! I'm just stating facts!" she laughed. I let out a deep breath. Huh, I wished she was wrong, but damn it she was so right…not sure about the good looking bit though, urgh!

As we sat in silence a couple came running. We watched the two of them chasing each other. The boy pushed the girl up on a tree and they started making out like two horny rabbits. I snorted slightly. "Who said romance was dead?" I said sarcastically.

Maya and I laughed out loud. "Get a room horny little people!" Maya mocked. The couple broke apart and the two of them squinted at us. Maya and I just laughed and decided to go back to our lockers since the end of lunchtime bell was about to go.

We went through the sliding door. Since our lockers were in the same hallway, we continued talking until we rounded towards the east locker bays. As I got closer to my locker I stopped walking abruptly.

Alice was standing in front of my locker, obviously waiting for me to arrive. Once she heard my abrupt stop she looked up. She was looking at me with a similar sad expression as Edward. "Are you going to be alright?" Maya whispered to me. I nodded. Maya headed towards her own locker. The locker hallway were packed with silver compartments, there were doors and stairs that lead to other locker hall ways.

I walked slowly towards my locker, I put on a hardened expression. I was so intent on having a stoic face, but I couldn't pull it off in the end. "What do you want Alice?" I said in a low voice. My tone surprised me, it was so void of emotion, that it made me want to cringe inside.

She shuffled uncontrollably. Then she looked back at me again. She was giving me her manga eyes, I could feel my resolve slowly melting, but I hardened my stance. "Bella I know you probably hate me right now…but please you need to know…I never wanted things to turn out the way they did-" I shook my head at that.

"Of course you didn't Alice, your not psychic, you're only human" I said casually. Her lips were starting to quiver. "Bella, please, Edward was really intent on having a clean slate…I know I should have just said something to you. Believe me Bella, I was about to after the whole nightmare at the championships…but then suddenly you're here" she was crying now, none of the things she was saying made any sense what so ever.

"Why would he do that though?" I questioned, mostly to myself. "I mean, I really loved him, and I thought he felt the same way…idiot" I wasn't making any sense, and to my disgust, I realized that I was crying too.

"I'm so sorry Bella. If its any consolation I hate him right now, but I hate myself even more for agreeing to what he requested…" Alice sniffed. I looked at her. We were standing in the middle of the hallway.

I moved closer towards Alice. Like two magnets we moved towards each other. I don't think I can fully forgive her just yet, but I couldn't help it. I had missed her so much. I hugged Alice tightly, letting the tears fall endlessly.

"I thought you hated me…" I said in a weak voice. Alice sobbed even more in to my shoulder. "How could you think that?! You're my best friend! I could never hate you!" she exclaimed.

We pulled away from each other. She wiped the tears away from my eyes and looked at me. I felt so small at that very moment, I felt raw, and a fresh surge of hurt came barrelling on me like an avalanche as another painful thought crossed my mind.

He really didn't love me. I mean, if Edward did he would have fought harder, but he never did. "He only wanted to protect you Bella, so you wouldn't have to hurt too much" Alice said in a small voice. I shook my head then laughed bitterly.

"What is wrong with his logic?!" I said maddeningly. I shook my head then let out a frustrated guttural sound. Alice shook her head too, "What did you expect? He was always an idiot" Alice added.

I forced my self to stop crying. I hastily wiped the tears from my eyes and let out a sigh. "It doesn't matter. He has Tanya now…I'm sure he's happy" I said in a tiny voice.

Alice looked at me hesitatingly. "I think he still loves you…No…I know he still loves you" Alice said encouragingly. I shook my head then smiled weakly. "Please don't…I've been through so much, I don't need false hopes to add to the mix" I said indignantly.

I grabbed my things and we both walked towards English together. We were the first ones to get there. We waited outside the classroom even though the door was already open. Alice was talking to someone and I was left to ponder on my own, hanging around the doorway.

The hall way was still pretty empty. I heard a footstep coming from in front of me and I absentmindedly looked up. My eyes clashed with Edward's green gaze. He started walking my way, his eyes locked on mine. He must have seen the panic in my eyes. He frowned and stopped walking, then the frown was wiped off, replaced by a hurt expression. I couldn't take it anymore. I looked away from him and walked inside the room.

I sat in the back of the room, towards the corner, and right next to the window. Maya and Jill came in and positioned themselves right next to me. When Alice walked in, Maya and Jill were surprised when Alice came up to me and pecked my cheeks.

I don't know…maybe I shouldn't have taken Alice back just like that, but come to think of it, I remembered her during the championship. I could still remember the despair in her voice when I overheard her and Rose talking in the bathroom.

I sighed and tried to focus on what Mr. Hill was saying. Concentration was proving itself very hard when my head was being filled with thoughts of Alice and Edward, then from the corner of my consciousness I saw Tanya and Edward kissing again.

I unconsciously banged my fist on the table in fury. Everybody in class stared at me. Alice was looking at me worriedly, while Mr. Hill had his eyebrows raised. "It must be that time of the month" he mumbled audibly. Some people chuckled, while Jill let out a shocked gasp. _What a dickhead! _I blushed intensely and straightened my self, when really I was dying to bury myself alive six feet under.

When the class was over, I was the first one to slip out of class. I almost bumped in to someone on the way out. My face smacked face first against someone's chest. When I looked up intending to apologize, words died in my mouth.

Edward was standing so close to me, he had both of his arms wrapped around me, and his face were only inches from mine. Then as if our bodies were responding to our closeness, our heads started moving closer and closer to each other, until I heard Maya coughing behind me. I jumped out of Edward's grasp and let Maya and Jill take me away.

I could hear Alice, "You're a dumb& you know that?" before she walked off the opposite way. I couldn't resist, it seemed my body was still reeling from our contact. I looked back and saw him hitting himself on the head with his pencil case.

I let out an uncomprehending squeak as Jill and Maya took me away.

_What the…_

* * *

**To: **Jacob Black

**Fr: **Isabella Swan

Dear Jacob,

Marie is sweet! Don't call her a monster! Everything is fine with me. I met these awesome girls, their names are Maya and Jill. Turns out one of them knows the Striker family. Jill and Sam are always at each others throat, its like watching an old married couple fight…Kind of like you and Marie! LOL just teasing!

I saw Edward today…no don't worry, I ahem! Protected my virtue…well actually Jill and Maya basically yanked me off to the next Millennia, but no pressure. I've also spoken to Alice…Turned out there were reasons for the silence after all, even reason that makes me think…_what kind of a reason is that? It's stupid! _But I'll have you know…they are very serious about the whole thing.

So anyway, Alaska still sucks, this snob school is filled with spunks. It's basically living in a model catalogue world. Its so materialistic.

Damn it, their cafeteria is called a dining room. They serve food over 50, I feel slightly inferior right now, and damn it! It's cold! Okay, I'm going to shut up now before I lose my head.

Much love,

Bella

* * *

**To:** Bella Swan

**Fr: **Jacob Black

Dear Bella,

Edward is an idiot, full stop. Those girls sounds great. Things are still crazy around here. Nemo escaped again (A/N: Nemo is Paul or Jared's pet raccoon. You'll remember him as the raccoon who chased Mike Newton in the first one), and I don't know. I can feel a change coming on.

Sam…you still remember Sam Uley right? Well he's been very weird. It driving Leah crazy, even more crazier than usual. It's weird because they are usually joint by the hip, but I guess not. It's been like that ever since Emily (That's Leah's cousin) came along. It's been very awkward.

I better go, I still have to run some errands for Billy. Say hi to Charlie for me alright?

Love, love,

Jacob

* * *

**Author's Note:**

So what did you beautiful readers think?

**Reviewers corner:**

**elorid'sdragonscrimbit****- thank you for pointing out what you pointed out, I pretty much just embarrassed myself to the next century, lol. I'm sorry!!**

**Bellawish2b****- yes, he is pretty tasty when he gets testy :D (Cheshire cat smile)**

**margaritama****- Yes, we all know, Edward needs to grow a penis, or at least some balls**

**jaydeesgirl**- Aw so harsh to Edward :0(

**edwardrocksmysocks****- oh god, I hope my story wins out lol**

**peaceloveandedward****- they are breathing the same air now, finally**

**Twilightistotallyawesome****- yup Tanya is the blonde…though she's not too bad**

**Rachelandthecupcakecrusades****- put your hands up for the twins like you don't care woot woot!**

**King of the broken hearted****- ahh yes my friend, that he is…a very sexy idiot at that. **

**Minniluna****- your reviews always rock, its soo long and long…I love it**

devilslawyer123**- Summer Crush is the shizz I like: **how could he get over bella so damn easily?? the little, horrid, bronze haired gorgeous scumbag! Pretty much says it all.

**AliMalfoy****- I think I already replied to this before, but I'm going to kill off Bella, and make Edward marry a smurf nods seriously**


	7. Chapter 7

**DISCLAIMER**: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT OF DIARY OF A CRUSH. THEY ARE THE WORK OF THE GENIUS STEPHENIE MEYER AND SARRA MANNING

**Read and Review please!**

**The first sin painted with red**

**Part 7**

* * *

**February 20 (Waiting outside the Principal's office)**

You know those times when you're having a nightmare and it feels like you are being suffocated, and it feels like your stuck with no way of getting out? Well that's exactly I how I felt this morning. I'm confused, I hate this place, and most of all, I hate Edward the most right now.

All week I thought everything finally started going up hill, just when I was about to reach my peak, I went barrelling down, causing me to crash and burn. It's a bit like realizing you're on roller coaster really. The slow uphill movement is alright, then it goes down and everything turns to hell from there.

After the whole cafeteria incident and the whole I-got-too-caught-up-outside-the-English-room-that-I-nearly-let-Edward-kiss-me debacle rumours started to spread like wildfire. Some said I was a witch, and I actually put a spell on Edward to make him kiss me, but he snapped out of it. Another is that Edward is actually Johnny Depp in disguise, and oh yeah, my personal favourite; Edward and I use to date, I got pregnant and now I want him to marry me.

The darnest thing rich people say…honestly, its almost too human. Oh if you're wondering why I would say something like that, lets just say that I don't exactly see rich kids as normal everyday homo sapiens.

Normal people don't cuss on their phone 24/7, they have IM for that. Normal people don't buy fifty million dollar tiaras just so they can flaunt it around, and last but not the least, rich kids have wayyy too much time in their hands.

I am starting to lose focus here.

So on Wednesday I had my first gym class. I rushed to the change rooms and changed to my track pants and my power ranger t-shirt (Don't ask me, it was the closest thing I got to work out clothes). It turned out Maya and Jill were also in the same gym class…great, more witnesses to my current clumsiness.

I sighed and tied my hair in a messy pony tail and walked slowly outside. I was the first one in the hall so I sat near on one of the benches and waited patiently for people to arrive. From what I heard, the senior gym class was separated in to two classes; group one being girls, and group two are the boys.

Maya told me not to worry too much since the two groups hardly ever integrated. As I waited on the bench Jill walked in followed closely by Sam. They were bickering as usual their argument ending with a haughty 'humph!' from both sides. Jill slammed the girls change room door, while Sam slammed the boys change room door. Maya looked at me exhaustedly, she looked at my top then smiled. "Love your shirt" she said brightly before pushing her way inside the change room.

More and more people came, I was a bit apprehensive about the fact that the boys were coming in as well. The door opened once again and Alice pranced inside the room. She looked at me then waved before gracefully opening the door to the boys change rooms.

Maya and Jill finally came out, followed by Sam. Sean followed through even though I never saw him come in. I smiled at all of them. Jill, Sam and Sean were all staring at my shirt, "Cool shirt" the twins said in unison. I couldn't quiet figure out if they were being sarcastic or not, its just a power ranger shirt damn it!

Coach Johnson came through from the back door, I almost choke on my spit when I saw him. He was the epitome of the stereotypical male gym teacher. He was wearing a sports cap, tight white shorts, and a stripy t-shirt. Jill elbowed my ribs and whispered _don't be rude. _Maya stifled her giggles while Sean shhed her. "Moment of silence as we honour the tight gym shorts…" Sean said seriously, putting his left hand on his chest.

Maya, Jill and I let out a snort, then all five of us (Sean and Sam included) started laughing hysterically. Coach Johnson stopped in front of us, we had no choice but to control ourselves. I had a cramp from laughing too much. Coach Johnson waited until the five of us calmed down.

"Alright, everybody! Form a circle now!" he barked. I jumped slightly, his booming voice was way too loud. I quickly followed everyone and stood next to Sean.

"I know we hardly integrate our classes together, but for the next few weeks things will be different. I know you guys will enjoy what I'm going to tell you next!" Coach grinned, I couldn't help but compare him to a Tasmanian devil I saw once. His grinned spelled out H-E-L-L. I cringed slightly as I waited patiently for him to spit it out.

"This semester we will be focusing on the art and the sport of _dancing" _he said enthusiastically. I let out an audible groan, but Coach Johnson ignored it. "You will be paired up with the opposite sex, and my GOD you will dance like your life depended on it!" he barked, seriously this time.

Both of the change room doors opened and I let out another groan. Edward and Tanya ran up to the circle, both muttering their apologies. Once Edward straightened up his gaze clashed with mine. He looked shocked for a second before he gave me a warm smile. I stared back at him coldly before looking away, turning up the heartless bitch front.

Coach Johnson recapped everything he's told us before Edward and Tanya walked in. I heard Tanya let out a satisfied sound as she looked at Edward. I don't know why, but my eyes kind of wandered. She was wearing tight shorts, and a very thin singlet. The tight shorts looked great on her, making her look like a run way model. Then to add to the embarrassment, my eyes zeroed in on her chest. Oh my goddess, they were gigantic. Then a certain conversation that happened a long time ago came back to me.

Suddenly it was like I was back in Forks once again on my seventh day. Just after Alice mauled me with her beauty products and hair straightener.

"_What is up with that chick who's always hanging around your sister?" came Jasper's curious voice. Then I heard laughing which sounded a lot like Emmet. _

"_Ouch! Why did you do that for?" he complained. "So anyway, she's that new girl. She's a klutz, I heard she's also Chief Swan's daughter. I think her name is Becca or something" there was more laughing coming from Emmet, "And I'm pretty sure she's got a gigantic crush on Edward, you can tell, she goes a red as a tomato whenever he's around!" then there was another 'ouch!' and 'ows!'. _

_I was about to walk away from embarrassment when I heard Edward say something that would probably stay in my mind for a very long time. _

"_She's just some random girl who doesn't even have much going for her, and if she does have a crush on me, then maybe one of you can explain to her that I don't go for weak girls without substance" he said lazily, breaking my already broken heart. _

"_Yeah, yeah, substance my ass. I mean come on! You went out with Tanya just because she had big jugs!" Emmet laughed. _

"_You have a point there" Jasper joined in. _

_I tried to walk away, but everything I just heard pretty much got my head spinning. I tried to go back to Alice's room, but instead I accidentally broke a flower vase. _

I still remember that damn flower vase, and of course, the hurt that I went through after what was said on the corridor of the Cullen house that night.

So that's Tanya huh? I remember agonizing over the faceless girl they had mentioned. Now that I've seen her for the first time, my heart just sort of gave out. Tanya…the girl with the big jugs was standing right in front of me.

I pushed the unsettling feeling I got and concentrated on what coach was saying. Forget big jugs Tanya, I knew that all of them would probably die laughing once they see me with my two left feet.

Sean patted my shoulder sympathetically. I frowned and listened to Coach Johnson anyway. "So here are the list of the couples. There will be no swapping of partners. If you do, I will fail you instantly for not trying to cooperate!" he boomed out loud once again. There were a few groans as he started reading out the names.

"Alice Cullen and Tim Biggerstaff" he called out. I watched Alice prance towards the unfortunate guy. Timmy looked petrified, his small tuft of red hair were shaking a bit as Alice smiled brightly at him. I heard Sean's chuckles. "Poor guy" Sean whispered. I ignored him as coach continued. "Tanya Garcia" Coach said loudly. I saw Tanya straightened herself as she anxiously waited for the name of her partner. I noticed her throwing small hungry glances towards Edward.

I diminished the urge to pull her hair out roughly. "Tanya Garcia and Jeremy Launceston!" I practically saw Tanya's face turned sour when she looked at the bulky football player. Jeremy was leering at her, Tanya turned slightly green. She was glaring at Coach Johnson as he called out my name.

I froze when he called out my name. The fool was taking his sweet time looking for my partner through his list. Then he looked up and smiled at me, a smile that totally made me want to be sick.

"Isabella Swan and Edward Cullen" he said loudly, then quickly moved on. I felt like a boulder just fell on my head. I looked up and saw Edward looking at Coach Johnson incredulously, then his gaze focused on me. I rolled my eyes and muttered 'Just great' sarcastically. I could feel rather than see Tanya glaring at me.

Once coach finished calling out the names, he told us to go to our partners. I didn't move, I mean…I couldn't move. I was rooted on the spot, trying to make sense of what the hell just happened. Edward walked towards me and stood beside me.

We didn't say anything, coach was saying something again. "So, what I'll have you guys do is make up a routine. I don't want a sloppy one, you guys have weeks to get this right, and damn it you will entertain me!" Coach Johnson sounded so much like a tyrant with a stick up his ass.

I huffed angrily when he walked out of the gym, leaving us all in mixed turmoil…well, he left _me_ standing there with pent up turmoil. I heard Edward sighed, I looked at him and found him staring at the ground. "Yup, great, consider yourself failed" I murmured irritated. He looked at me then, "This doesn't have to be painful Bells" he said softly. I was annoyed, after everything he put me through, he still had the tendency to make me shiver just by speaking.

I moved away from him slightly, creating distance between us. I knew he noticed, but he didn't do anything about it. "Come on Bells, please?" he pleaded. I eyed him shrewdly.

"That's Isabella Marie Swan to you, Cullen" I said sullenly. He looked taken aback. We started walking towards the benches.

"It was never Isabella Marie Swan before…" he said weakly. I quickly spun around and injected as much venom as I could muster to my next sentence. "Yeah well that before you took my heart and stamped on it!" I snapped. He backed away a bit looking hurt. I wanted him to smile, and I can't believe I just said that.

"Sorry" I said in a tiny voice so only he could hear, "Lets just get this over and done with" I said resigned.

Edward shook his head as we both sat down on the bench. "Look, I've wanted to talk to you for a while. You must really hate me right now…" he started, "Leaving you was the hardest thing I've ever done. I never wanted things to turn out this way" I laughed humourlessly at that one.

"Yeah I bet, you probably didn't even anticipate me coming here did you? You probably thought that you would never see me again" I tried to sound casual, but my emotions were getting the best of me. Edward tried to take my hands, but I pushed him away. He looked like he was on the verge of tears, this vulnerable side of him made me want to wrap my arms around him, but I ignored it.

"Bella…it was the only way I figured it could work out, the whole long distance thing kind of freaked me out" he said in his velvet voice. I looked at him straight this time and really looked look at him. His emerald eyes were warm pools right now, nothing at all like the cold eyes I remembered so much from five months ago.

"Edward…you never even tried, that just goes to show that you didn't care about me as much as you might have thought" I started again, he frowned at that and was about to say something. But I wasn't finished with him yet, "Now you have Tanya, be happy, no point on dwelling in the past. You know, maybe in a sick twisted way, I still love you, I probably always will, but there's no point of me getting my hopes up" I said strongly. He was staring at me, as if he couldn't believe I was saying the things that I was saying.

Edward looked down and when he looked back up, his face had taken on a different expression. His eyes had a certain spark that I couldn't understand. "So, what if I don't want to let you go just yet?" he said, grasping my hand this time, putting a little strength on it. I tried to tug my hands. I looked towards everybody else, and I sighed. No one else noticed it.

"What if I'm not ready to lose sight of you?" he said once again, he was shaking me now. My heart was beating so fast from what he was saying. _he's lying to you Bella, you can't listen to him, he's hurt you way too many times! _The voice in my head exclaimed.

I looked at him this time and shook my head with finality. "No" I said abruptly. Edward looked down, then looked up. I don't know…He looked like he just lost sight of everything he ever believed in. I sighed and tilted his head up. "You can't do that to her…" I said, nodding to Tanya who was frustratingly trying to push Jeremy's groping hands away from her butt. "I know you Edward. Besides, she had you at your worst. It's not fair" I said in a small voice. A part of my was cursing non stop. _why? You've been pining for him for five months! Why are you doing this! _Another voice screamed inside my head.

I was right, he knew I was right. He could tell that he was losing the battle, and there was no way of convincing me. He looked at me sadly and slowly got up. He turned his back on me and stalked out of the hall. I choked back the tears that were threatening to fall. It was for the best…At least I thought it was.

I couldn't help feeling the overwhelming sadness followed by the hurt I started to feel. Everybody watched as Edward left hall, followed closely by Tanya. Alice had rushed to me instantly and hugged me tightly. I felt so numb inside, I don't know what happened to me then, I'm still trying to figure it out.

Alice kept murmuring sweet nothings in my ears and surprisingly enough, it soothed me. That night I received an email from Edward;

**To: **Isabella Swan

**Fr: **Edward Cullen

Bella, Bella, Bella

I know, right now you want to be called ISABELLA MARIE SWAN, but no, when have I ever followed your demands? Sadly enough, what you said this afternoon was the truth. It's even harder for me because whatever I do, I know I will screw it up. I've told you this before, and I'll say it again, leaving you was the hardest thing I've ever done, not to mention the biggest mistake I've ever made. But the past is the past, but Bella, I can't help but dwell on the past. The only thing I've ever loved even more than myself is part of my past, and it hurts to think that that's I'm going to be to you from now on…Your past.

You can't imagine just how much I hate myself right now. So I'm not going to start describing, because knowing you, you will feel pity, and you will undoubtedly take me back, because you are you Bella. You're not selfish, you always put others before you, and that is why I love you so much.

So I am going to take your advice. I'll stay with Tanya, I will be happy, I guess this is punishment enough…But please promise me one thing. Losing you for four months was enough to suck the living daylights out of you, please don't tell me to stay away from you. I might have thought that I could do it before, but I can't stay away from you. You brighten up my otherwise meaningless existence. I'd rather have you as a friend than not have in my life at all.

Intoxicated by you,

Edward

* * *

The next day I didn't know what to do…I mean what could be so bad about being friends right? I mean, nothing serious, just platonic friendship…So why the hell did it feel so good when Edward wrapped his arms around me to give me a morning hug?

And why the hell did I shiver at the sound of his voice when he walked me to my locker. No, I hadn't made up my mind, but he was eager to keep me in his life. His little revelation had left me speechless, I didn't know what to think. I was waiting for the moment for cameras to come out and Ashton Kutcher would jump out of a bush or something and scream out 'You just got punk'd!" but it never happened.

And it mystified me even more was when we ran in to Tanya. Tanya smiled at me…I mean I could tell she hated my guts, but she acted so bloody friendly…She started treating me like I was her best friend… I had to recoil a little bit, I felt a little disturbed.

Then a couple of days later the dance rehearsals started. I can't dance to save my life, I just sort of stood there while Edward swept me around the floor. Everything his hands touched tingled, the spark that I felt when I first touched him was still very much alive. I wanted to reject the feeling, but I couldn't do it.

During lunchtimes Edward would ask me time and time again if I wanted to sit with him and Tanya…to be honest, I wasn't in the mood to be the third wheel party. I sullenly refused and sat down with my new friends. He had the nerve to look dejected. But still, my heart kind of expanded.

Edward and I…were on friendly terms I guess. And I hate to admit it, my emotions kept coming back to me. I'm aware that I was still in love with him. Just when things were starting to look up, I finally started feeling like my heartstrings were rejuvenated, something bad just had to happened.

I'm a bad, bad, bad person…Edward is even worst. On Friday Edward had asked me if I wanted to practice during lunch time, being the push over that I am, of course I said yes. I mean, I didn't know that it was going to turn disastrous.

We both headed towards the gym, as soon as I got changed I rushed towards the hall where we were the only ones there. "Alright, this shouldn't be impossible to do, I know you have two left feet" Edward started, I glared at him then huffed. "It's true! But what I'm saying, it should be fine, I'm a good teacher…I think" he said uncertain.

What was I to say right? So I took deep breaths then opened up my arms. He tapped my lower arm, they flopped a little bit "this should be stronger" he mumbled to no one in particular. I tensed my muscles when he placed one of his hands on my waist, while he held my hand with the other.

I looked up and was surprised to see that he was already engulfed with what he was doing. It was as though I wasn't even there. I didn't mind, I'm ashamed to say this, but Edward is not that easy to ignore…

He took my hand and twirled me then abruptly stopped. "Wait….no…" he mumbled once again, he got down on one knee and touched my thighs, "This has to be sturdier, trying put all of your balance on this leg while you spin alright?" he said, looking up at me. I took a deep breath then nodded.

He took my hands once again then twirled me around, I tried to keep my focus on one spot so that I wouldn't feel dizzy. But too late, I lost concentration and tripped. I tried to grab on to something, and unfortunately, Edward was the only one I could grab on to.

I fell on my back with a resounding thump and Edward fell on top of me. I groaned slightly, it hadn't registered in my brain yet, the fact that Edward was on top of me. I looked up and blushed furiously. Edward started laughing, his laugh rang melodiously, making my head spin. Every part of our body were touching, in my head I knew it was wrong. I couldn't help it.

His breath was playing with my senses, having him at such close proximity didn't help. I felt rejuvenated somehow, as though somebody had cut off my air supply and I just got it back. My heart was beating so fast that I couldn't think straight. I didn't know what I was doing but I reached up and touched his cheeks. His laugh died down as he looked down at me. His face suddenly turned serious.

I touched his face, my fingers tingled as they touched his soft skin, my fingers lingered around his lips, and I watched as he closed his eyes, leaning in to my hands. A strong sense of longing engulfed me, and a warm feeling took me over. When he opened his eyes he brushed my cheek with his hands and leaned in, his face only inches from mine.

His lips met mine in an intimate kiss, they moved of their own accord. Our lips moved with no rhyme or reason, something about it felt so wrong, but the more we stayed that way, the more I began to convince myself of just how right it was.

We must have been kissing for quite a while. We heard a door opened but ignored it, it was reckless but we were too wrapped up with each other. "Edward!" someone screamed. Edward and I sprang apart in time to see Tanya running out of the door.

I looked at the door in horror, then I looked at Edward. He was looking at me disgustedly, and all I could say was "I'm so sorry…" but I never got to finish whatever I was about to say since Edward angrily walked out the door, leaving me all alone.

I clutched my hair and let out a frustrated scream. I just couldn't believe I kissed him. After all that crap I said to him the day before, I still went out of my way to friggin kiss him. _What the hell was I thinking?! _

I ran out of the gym and intended to get to my locker, but I couldn't get far enough. The hall way was deserted. Tanya stopped me at my tracks with this really deranged look. Edward was standing behind her, not looking at me. "Look you bitch! Stay away from _my _boyfriend! If I ever catch you making out with him again, I will make your life a living hell!" She screamed at me, I was just staring at her horrified.

"You and him being friends? Bullshit! Forget it! Never gunna happen!" she said sassily. "Edward is mine, go get yourself another one. Wouldn't be too hard for you, since you're a whore anyway!" all the while Tanya was saying this, Edward stayed quiet. I looked at him, I wanted him to say something, anything. But he kept his mouth shut. The cold look from five months ago was back again.

I couldn't read his face, and the more he stayed impassive the more my heart tore apart. I don't know what I wanted, but I wanted him to at least stand up for me, to say that I didn't mean any harm. But to my dismay, he stayed quiet.

Tanya was doing all of the talking, while he stayed oh so quiet. I stared at him still, but he didn't move, not even a word.

"He dumped you like what? Four months ago?!" she was yapping on and on and on. At one point I thought it was never going to end. I stopped listening as soon as I realized Edward wasn't going to stand up for me.

She shoved me out of the way and stalked out while Edward followed, brushing past me like a cold winter chill. As soon as I knew they were gone I let the tears fall gently. I brushed them away fiercely and walked the other way. I didn't know where I was going but I needed to get away.

So that whole talk about 'lighting up his otherwise meaningless existence' was pure unadulterated crap. He nearly had me there for a second. How could I have been so stupid? _It's okay, you wouldn't have known anyway..._

I ran towards a secluded corridor and opened one of the doors. I sighed in relief when I found that it was empty. I ran towards the window and threw it open. The gentle winter breeze flew in, letting me catch some fresh air.

The tears were no where near subsiding, so I cried mutely, not once letting a sound escape from my mouth. Back then I felt like I was responsible, and that Edward had the right to hate me. After all, I was the one who initiated the kiss. I felt so disgusted with myself. But the fact that Edward didn't even bother to help me out still stung.

If Edward really cared, then he should have at least said something…anything at all.

I stayed inside the room that overlooked the man made lake for a while. I surveyed the interior, like everything else in the castle, the room was breathtakingly beautiful. Everything looked like an antique, but there wasn't much inside the room. There was a big old fashion blackboard, and an old classical piano.

It must've once been the school music centre. _Its been replaced, _tossed out like an odd rag doll. I looked around and went to the piano. The last person I heard playing the piano had been Edward. I could still remember his beautiful voice. I can't believe that had happened earlier this year.

Back then, if somebody had told me that Edward and I were going to get together then break up horribly, I don't know…maybe I would have saved myself the heartache.

I started playing a tune Renee use to play whenever I got too lonely years ago. I remembered. She would cuddle me, then lead me to our old keyboard and play the same thing. I had no idea what it was, but I knew that it had a calming effect on me whenever I was on the slump.

I began playing the beginning notes, letting the lullaby take me far away, away from everything that just happened…away from Alaska. I completely missed the fact that the door actually opened. Once I finished I heard clapping coming from behind me.

I abruptly turned around at the sound. Jane Volturi stood near the door way smiling at me. But her smile disappeared as soon as she saw my embarrassed face. "Oh…God, sorry…I didn't mean to…It's just I heard you…" she began, her voice light and innocent. I shook my head and tried to smile.

"No…It's fine…really" I started awkwardly. Jane smiled beautifully at me. Then she started walking towards me slowly. She was so innocent, I understand how Maya could find a way to dislike Jane. Her green eyes were large orbs staring back at me with…worry?

"Are you okay?" she asked kindly, sitting next to me to the piano. I started to nod, but I found myself shaking my head. "No, but it'll pass" I said in a tiny voice. Jane is probably a freshmen, she was so tiny, if she was any older than 15, then that would have been weird.

"Is it that Edward guy?" she asked, I heard a certain something in her voice, but I couldn't quiet put my finger on it. I looked at her and nodded weakly. She wrapped an arm around, which was a little awkward since I was much bigger than her. But I appreciated the gesture somehow.

"How do you know?" I asked her. She paused for a couple of seconds before speaking again. "I heard everything. Wow, I never knew Tanya Garcia was so mean…" she started, I gulped. I didn't want anyone to know. I looked at her again, "Edward…I thought he was your friend…what's up with that" she continued, then her face brightened up when she looked at me.

"You know what you should do? Oh my god!" she started, clapping to herself enthusiastically. I looked at her warily but nodded in encouragement. "You totally should seek revenge!" she said happily. I looked at her in confusion. What she was saying didn't match up to her innocent face at all.

Her face fell then she shrugged innocently, "Well its just a suggestion, you don't have to take me seriously…_nobody does_…" she said the last part so innocently that I sort of wanted to weep for her.

"Well…" I started, but as soon as Jane saw my hesitation she was back up again. "You totally should do something to him, I mean not only does he deserve it. But I bet it'll make you feel better!" she said convincingly, but it felt wrong. I looked at her again and tried to speak. "But-" I started, but she cut me off.

"And that Tanya, calling you a whore like that. Doesn't that piss you off?" she said in a light tone. "Yeah but-" I started again, but once again she cut me off. "Aren't you tired of always being played around and _dumped?_" she made an emphasis on the last word. I had to admit, that last one stroked a nerve. Something was stirring inside of me.

I looked down and nodded then looked up at her. "Well…yeah…I guess so"

I don't know what made me say it, but somehow I found myself agreeing to whatever Jane was saying. Its been building up now, all of the pent up anger, all of the annoyance and the frustration. All of the waiting, then finally all of the agonizing. I never even realize it before, but I was so ready to explode.

Everything changed; All the love, all the liking, all of the agonizing. I hate Edward Cullen, I really do. For hurting me, for giving me false hopes, and most of all for making me love him. I want to hurt him back, I don't know how, I want to hurt him as much as he hurt me.

For some reason Jane was looking at me with a little smile forming on her face. I ignored her. I walked out of the room and instantly a hundred ideas flew to my mind. I wanted to get him back. NO. I _needed_ to get him back…_good. _I ran through the corridor. Majority of the students were already inside their classrooms.

I showed up in my last period class and sat there quietly. Jill and Maya kept looking at me worriedly. Jill leaned in and whispered, "Where were you earlier? You disappeared on us" Jill whispered in a worried voice. "Yeah, you missed it, Edward and Tanya had a big tiff near the cafeteria! Edward had to drag her out of the building" Maya added.

I remained impassive. I shrugged at the two of them, "I went to the library" I lied shamelessly. Jill and Maya both narrowed their eyes at me, but nodded anyway. When the bell went I was the first person to leave the room. I collected all of my things and practically ran towards the car park.

"Bella!" I heard Alice calling out to me. I quickly spun around and took in her panicked expression. "Are you alright? What did Edward do to you?!" she said worriedly. She stopped in front of me huffing loudly. I tried to smile at her, only it came out more like a grimace. "What else is new?" I said bitterly before going inside the car.

I drove away, but not fast enough. There was traffic in the car park, I stopped directly in front of the school entrance, just in time to see Edward coming down with Tanya. Edward stopped abruptly when he saw me. He was looking at me fiercely, I could tell he wanted to say something. I turned away from him and raised the tinted window. Not once did I look at him again that day.

When I got home Charlie could tell that something was wrong. I slammed the door and immediately climbed up the stairs, not bothering to say 'hi'

The range of emotions inside of me were starting to break free. This is something I should have done ages ago. Why I didn't do it, I have no idea.

On the night of that very same day I snuck out of the house. Armed with a spray can and red paint. I took the school handbook and found Edward's address. Once I found the address I took the letters I wrote for thirty days, along with the photograph we took of each other.

I stared at one particular photo of Edward and me during the Romeo and Juliet play after party. In the photo, I'm sitting on his lap, kissing the crook of his neck, while he had his arm protectively enveloped around me. We looked so happy, I felt nostalgia haunting me once again. I folded the photograph and kept it in my chest pocket…a souvenir.

I stealthily got out of the car, careful not to trip. I headed towards the garage door. I knew that the Cullen's didn't care much about their security, seeing as they really didn't need to lock any doors at all.

As soon as I got inside the gigantic garage, I looked desperately for Edward's silver Volvo. I found it right next to Emmett's monster truck. I didn't even pause when I bent down and picked up the bucket of red paint. I threw it across, red paint splattered all over the car. I could hear the dripping sound as the paint got on the floor.

I took a hold of the spray can and sprayed across the hood of the stupid shiny Volvo:

_**WANKER!**_

I looked at my handy job and tried to block out the image of Alice, I just knew she was going to hate me for it.

I took the box filled with my memories of him, I stashed some of it on the trash can, while I hid some of it on the compartments of the shelves. I looked down at the trashcan and poured some gas on it. I stepped away slightly. I lit the match and after pausing for a second, I threw it in along with the pictures I got in my hands.

There was another thing. I looked down at the box of letters in my hands. I didn't know what I wanted to do with them. I threw the whole box inside the dying flame. I ran out of the garage and got inside my red convertible.

Just as I was moving away, the fire alarm went off. I watched as lights flickered on from inside the Cullen house. I didn't wait around to be found, I sped all the way home, my heart on my sleeve. I don't know if I felt satisfied or not, to be honest, I feel the same. It's like nothings changed at all.

I snuck back inside the house with Charlie still fast asleep upstairs. I ended up sitting on the sofa and staying up until the early hours of the morning.

Now I'm waiting outside the principal's room, I've just been called up. I've brought this upon myself. Edward came through here just a couple of minutes ago, he's talking to Principal Masters right about now. I know he knows that it was me. When he walked through the door he looked at me, his eyes filled with anguish, hurt, and confusion. I looked back at him, letting him see the hurt he had caused me, the love…and most of all, the hate.

_Bella Swan just signed in_

**Jacob Black: **Bella?

**Jacob Black: **Why aren't you talking to me?

**Jacob Black: **Is something wrong??

_Bella Swan just signed off_

**Reviewers corner**

Alright….Here you go…please don't hate too much guys, I hate this chapter too. Jane is…Hmm you'll find out, but I'm pretty sure that you already have a very good idea of what she's trying to do. I hope this chapter wasn't too…bad. But yeah, thanks for reading!! Please leave a review!! They cheer me up!!

**King of the broken hearted****- nope, being good looking is not an excuse, I kind of think he uses it more like his defence**

**flower123****- ****hmm do you really think so?**

**peaceloveandedward****- Aww do you want me to sing to you? I can sing all night if it mean it'll keep the bad day away…lol I don't think that made sense at all!**

**!- I don't know you, lol! But of course I'm not going to just snap! And bring him back!**

**margaritama****- big boobies! tanya**

**Bethi-woo****- Attachment isn't too bad I guess, thank you!**

**IsabellaBellax3****- yay for the happy dance!**

**SaraKlumHalpertBanks****- I'm glad you think so. I really hope you arent too disappointed with this chappy**

**devilslawyer123****- lol we are getting a little off topic here, sorry no, I cant do that to Edward :0(**

**AliMalfoy****- I wonder what will happen if edward (vampire) slept with a smurf, would the baby be called 'Smuresmee' I can see it now, Smuresmee Cullen, what a cute blue baby…**

**Twilightistotallyawesome****- I've answered this already…I think**

**jaydeesgirl****- NOOOO don't shoot yourself!!**


	8. Chapter 8

**DISCLAIMER:** I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT OF DIARY OF A CRUSH. THEY ARE THE WORK OF THE GENIUS STEPHENIE MEYER AND SARRA MANNING

**R&R author's note attached at the bottom :)**

**JUDGEMENT**

**Part 8**

* * *

**February 21**

How was waiting outside the Principal's office, while I awaited my sentence you might ask? It was painful to say the lease, and the encounter itself is still giving me mix feelings even now as I write this entry in my room.

Waiting outside Principal Masters' office felt long, and I thought Edward would never come out of the room. When I saw him I felt a great urge to kick him, to scream at him, to shake him senseless then kiss him. Cliché as it may sound I was so over run by my own emotions that I didn't recognise the feelings rolling around inside of me.

At that very moment I hated him. I hated the fact that he didn't say anything to stand up for me, I hated the fact that he opened his mouth and blabbed out lies about always being there for me. I was so filled with hatred with whatever Jane had said, I felt like my head was going to explode.

So when the door to the Principal's office opened, I was slightly confused when Principal Masters called me in. I knew Edward was still inside. I didn't want to face him. I didn't want him to see me. Despite the fact that he kind of deserved what I did to him, I was still slightly ashamed of myself.

I did all of the things I would never have thought of doing before. I trashed someone's car and sprayed_WANKER! _across the hood, and pretty much lit a fire in someone's garage. The fact that I did it was even worst…even though I may not have realized it then, but what I did was pretty low…

"Come in Miss Swan" Principal Masters said in a grim voice. Her pink lips were slightly pursed and she was standing so stiffly in such a manner that scared me. She looked at me with intimidating eyes. Her eyes followed my every movement as though she was a hawk waiting to pounce.

I slowly stepped inside the room. Edward sat on one of the cushiony seats, staring out of the window. His lips were closed in a thin line. As soon as he heard me come in he sat up straighter. He slowly turned to look at me then looked back down again.

He was fidgeting slightly, I watched his every movement and was slightly surprised. Edward never fidgeted before, so seeing him lose his cool in front of the principal was completely new to me.

His beautiful face was set in a sad expression, and he had tiny purple bags under his eyes. I could tell he hadn't gotten any sleep at all. An empty ache gave a resounding pang inside my heart. I took deep breaths before sitting down on the other seat opposite Principal Masters'.

I looked at Edward for a second before looking away. The sense of betrayal was still strong in the air. I felt like I've been pushed around endlessly. Being taken for a spin without even realizing it. My plan to become completely invisible, no matter how much I laugh at my absurd idea, failed miserably.

I thought that once everything was all over, words would spread like wildfire, everybody will know exactly what I did to Edward's car. I would look like the bad guy, I would be the one who would be hated.

"Two nights ago, an incident happened at Edward's place where his car was graffitied badly with an obscene word. Now I'm not one for pointing fingers Miss Swan, but somebody saw you on the night of the crime, leaving the Cullens garage. Now I know you might be having trouble fitting in, and I'm sure you have a good reason to do it. But what you did is still graffiti. Behaviour like that can't go unpunished here in Volterra Preparatory. Not to mention what you did is considered a crime" she ranted, authority seeping through her voice. I looked at Edward who was staring out the window, his lips still pursed in to a thin line.

My heart was beating so fast. I knew that I was in big, big trouble. I couldn't even remember why the hell I sprayed _WANKER_! Across Edward's car. The only thing I could hear in my brain was a buzz. My nerves started acting up, and my breathing became slightly stilted.

I know it, I'm pretty sure Principal Masters can smell fear. There was a curious smile playing around her lips. Principal Masters flicked her long blonde hair out of the way and looked at me kindly. "However, Mr. Cullen has decided not to press any charges against you" she said slowly. My head snapped up, and I let out a breath I didn't even know I was holding.

I slowly turned to look at Edward who was still staring out the window, looking awfully like a statue of a beautiful Adonis. My throat felt dry as I gulped down empty air. I was breaking in to sweat, I felt cold, and I felt like I was going to be sick. Principal Masters began smiling kindly at me, she looked towards Edward, he looked back at her then nodded.

I looked from one to the other, contemplating what the hell could be running through their minds. I looked down and focused my gaze on my shoes instead. I knew I was dead meat, but I still hoped for a miracle anyway. "So Miss. Swan I'm leaving now" Principal Masters said. I looked at her, my eyes going round. I opened my mouth then closed it again.

_I'm leaving now?_ That's all she was going to say after I almost burnt down someone's garage? I looked at her in confusion.

"I'm leaving your punishment to Edward. You two kids close the door on your way out alright? I'm out of here" Principal Masters gets up, takes her black leather bag and walked out the door, leaving Edward and I on our own.

I was looking at the door in astonishment, I mean…what the hell? Principal Masters just pretty much let me slip through her elegant little fingers. I could feel Edward staring at me.

I knew he was looking at me. I could feel his gaze raking me through and through. But I couldn't pluck up the courage to look up. From what I could see, he just saved my ass completely. I didn't know how to react, I knew that a simple thank you would have sufficed, but somehow gratitude felt wrong at that moment.

I slowly looked back at him, my heart going uncontrollably fast. He was looking back at me warily. The purple circles under his eyes looked even more obvious to me. I looked back down. I don't know, after such a close shave, all the hate just seemed to drain out of me.

I could feel my eyes tearing up under his scrutiny. "Why didn't you press any charges against me?" I said in a small voice, my voice breaking twice. He shuffled slightly, and when I looked back at him, he was faced towards me, looking at me intently.

"I can't say I didn't deserve it…" he started slowly, looking at his own hands, "But I'm not too sure if the Volvo deserved it though" he said, trying to make light of everything that just happened. I couldn't smile back at him. I looked at him seriously and pressed. "Why?" I continued, stronger this time.

"Why what?" he said softly, staring at me, taking me in.

"Why would you save my ass like that? You loved that car!" I said, my voice hitting one decibel louder than last time.

He looked at me seriously this time. "After what I didn't say?" he said softly. I knew exactly what he was talking about. "I'm a bastard Bella, I'm weak, and you know it!" he said louder this time.

I flinched slightly and looked away. "But things are so complicated between Tanya and myself right now. I can't leave her even if I wanted to…" he said in a harsh voice, his face hard. I swallowed, there was truth in what he said, I could tell. Something must have gone on between them.

I looked at him then, I mean really looked at him. I studied the deep bags under his eyes, the worry lines that were never there when we were together, despite his tired state, I couldn't help but melt slightly in his presence

"But the fact is, you were right. Tanya had me at my worst, and to leave her just like that…just seems so wrong…especially now that she's-" but he stopped abruptly. He looked so pained, his agony was written across his face. His green eyes looked anguished, then wistful as he stared at me.

"I don't know if you feel the same way, but you are like a drug to me" he said slowly, trying to make sense of what he was trying to tell me, "My brand of heroin. I can't help it…You are so bad for my health" he laughed bitterly at that. All the while I kept quiet, I didn't want to tell him, I didn't want him to know that I felt the same.

Edward got off the chair and closed the distance between us. He got down, and kneeled before me. He took my hand and held it tightly. I felt a sparked moment pass between the two of us.

We stayed that way for a long moment, just holding each others hands. The silence between us grew, I tried to memorize his face, just staring at him, trying to drink him in, to sate my thirst while he stared back at me, looking like he was doing the same thing.

My wishful thinking made me laugh slightly. He looked curiously at me. "What?" he said in a soft voice, still holding my hands.

I shrugged, "Nothing…" I trailed off. I closed my eyes and tried to think, I needed to know what was going to happen now. "Where do we stand right now?" I asked hesitantly. He looked at me sadly, brushing my cheeks gently. I shivered at the contact, and he smiled slightly.

"We can stay friends…For real this time…" he said slowly. I cringed away slightly, I tried to pull my hand away, but he tightened his grip. "I know, I know, it was bad last time. But I'll make it work, even if it's the last thing I do" he continued. Frowning to himself.

"And if I do something bad…then your welcome to trash Emmett's monster truck" he said, pausing slightly before saying the last part.

I snorted at that. "Yeah, you might as well send me to my grave" I said darkly. He smirked slightly. He got up and pulled me up with him. He started for the door, but another thought occurred to me.

"Wait…How about Tanya? She would never let you do this" I said in a small voice, feeling weak so suddenly. His face turned hard as he thought for a moment. "She can try and stop me, but I can be friends with anyone I want" Edward said, his voice lowering in to a rumble.

Somehow I didn't think it would work out, but before I could say a word, he had dragged me out the door. He was still holding my hand as we walked down the hallway. We ignored the curious glances from any of the students. As we turned a corner, we saw Alice and Tanya. Alice smiled and ran towards me. Tanya's face scrunched up at Alice.

"Alice!" she yelled loudly. Alice spun around and shrugged apologetically at Tanya. But she continued walking towards me. Tanya was fuming so badly. Tanya huffed loudly and walked out the door. I looked at Edward then, he let go of my hand and smiled bravely at me. I smiled back, "Good luck" I said, honestly meaning it. He ran after Tanya, disappearing through the French double doors.

I sighed, an overwhelming sadness taking over me. I mean what the hell is wrong with me!! One minute I hate him, then I go psycho and wreck his car, then once again I like him! It's too ridiculous for words, especially now…I can't even remember the reason how I ended up hating him with such passion to begin with!

I heard coughing right next to me. I turned around and almost smacked my head. Alice was standing there, staring at me curiously. I almost forgot she was standing there. "Hi…" I said sheepishly. She smiled wanly at me before walking ahead…I guess she expected me to follow her.

I followed Alice down the corridor, as we passed the gigantic French windows, I could see Edward and Tanya at the bottom. I could tell that they were screaming at each other. Tanya looked fired up, while Edward looked coldly at her. I flinched slightly, knowing I was the reason for their fight. But my flinch was more for Edward, It looked like Tanya was going to jump on him and scratch his eyes out at any given moment.

I looked away and followed Alice. She rounded and entered a room. Inside, the room looked spacious, and I could see that there was a fireplace inside. The warmth instantly invited me inside.

I followed her in and almost went back out the other way when I saw everyone there. Maya and Jill were sitting on one of the desks, while Sam and Sean were playing dodge ball with a tennis ball. When I came in, everybody stopped and looked at me.

"Oh, looks like we have our little rebel back!" Sean said, running up to me.

"I'm so proud of you!" Sam said, holding his heart sincerely. I scoffed at the two of them and sat next to Maya and Jill. The two of them were looking at me with an amused expression. "So…He's a WANKER huh?" Jill said saucily.

I looked at all of them then gaped. "What? How did you know?" I asked in misery. I was turning red, I mean I was never one to completely lose my cool, but after this week, I'm not even sure if I know myself anymore.

"You know Bella, you could have just told me, I could have signed him up anonymously for one of those sexy online websites like literotica, that could have worked too…But noo, we went hysterical and created a fire in the garage like a caveman" Maya ranted. I was starting to curl up my self. I looked to Alice for support, but she had happy laugh lines on her face.

"Aww, Leave Bella alone guys! Besides, its all good…sort of…Edward and Bella are back together!" she said enthusiastically. Everybody else looked at me as though I had gone mad. I stood up then and glared at Alice.

"We are not back together! Why would you think that?" I asked hysterically.

"Well, why else would you be skipping along the hallway holding hands with Edward?" she asked innocently. I turned a bright red and covered my face with my hands.

"We're just friends…I swear. Edward ran after Tanya to explain things" I said casually. My face felt hot. Alice's face fell a bit, and she flopped down on the desk. "But I don't get it…You two really like each other! It doesn't make sense" she said, mostly to herself. I shrugged then.

I heard Maya tsk at me. I looked at her then. She was playing with her pink streak, running her finger through it. "It's better that way. Besides it seems that all they ever do whenever they are together is hurt each other anyway" she said rationally. I saw Jill nod in agreement.

I sighed then. "Yeah well, I don't know anything anymore, so lets just see where this takes us alright?" I said. I was so tired, I felt drained. A part of my brain felt like it had been burnt. I closed my eyes and tried to push to tiredness away. But I ended up falling asleep on the table.

When I woke up, it turned out that I wasn't the only one who fell asleep. I opened my eyes slowly and looked around me. The twins had fallen asleep on the table, while Maya, Jill and Alice wee all lying in front of the fireplace.

I looked out the window and saw that it was almost dark. I gasped in astonishment, we slept through the whole day, I don't even know how the hell we all managed that without being woken up by a teacher or something.

I slowly got up and groaned. I could feel someone else in the room. I looked around and became jumped slightly.

Edward was staring at me from across the room. "What are you doing over there?" I whispered. He shrugged then smiled at me.

"Nothing, I was thinking whether I should wake you up or not. But you looked too peaceful and beautiful when you're asleep…it was quiet fascinating" he said softly. He was looking at me as though he wanted to take my clothes off. I shivered slightly, recoiling from his gaze. I coughed and looked back at him. "You really shouldn't talk like that…It'll complicate things" I said sullenly. He frowned at me, but nodded non-the less.

The others were still asleep, Sean's mouth was hanging open, while Sam snored slightly. Edward looked at them too and smirked. I looked back at him and sighed. "How did it go?" I asked slowly. He looked at me, not saying anything for a while. He sighed then shrugged. "Yeah, its alright I guess. She can't do anything about it" he said in an exhausted tone.

I smiled sympathetically at him. I didn't want to pry, but a question kept haunting me. "Um…You know how you said you can't break up with her for a reason…?" I started, not really knowing where I was going, but it seemed he knew. "No I can't say Bella…Maybe later" he smiled. A pained expression crossed his beautiful face, but it vanished almost instantly.

I looked back at the others then at Edward. "Maybe its time to wake them up…Before we all get detention" I said in a tiny voice. He nodded, and started to get up. I looked at him then. "Where are you going?" I asked abruptly, taking a hold of his hand.

He looked at me, smiling gently at me. "Shh I have to go before you wake them up, I'm not exactly that popular with them at the moment" he said softly.

"Oh" I mouthed. I pried my hands away from him slowly, letting him go. He looked at me one more time before turning to go.

I watched him walk out the door, waiting for his footsteps to disappear.

I just sat there for a few moments, fighting the bittersweet emotions inside of me.

I turned to the others and coughed loudly to begin with. Not one of them stirred. I coughed once again, but all of them were sleeping very soundly.

So I decided to throw my scarf at Sean, knowing he would be startled. As soon as the scarf hit his face, Sean sprung out of the chair and accidentally elbowed Sam on the face. Sam lets out a loud wail while the girls started to stir, waking up one by one…except for Alice.

I just stood there watching all of them in amusement. I watched Sam whining and Jill throwing him dirty looks, looking at him as though he just did a capital offence by waking her up by his whining. Maya rubbed her eyes and groaned loudly, stretching to un knot all of her muscles, while Alice just merely stirred and went back to sleep.

"What's the time?" Sean asked, finally realizing I was there. All of the others finally realized I was there too and all of them looked at me, their eyes asking for the same thing.

I sighed and looked out the window. "Well, judging by the fact that the school looks pretty empty, I'd say we basically skipped a whole day of school" I said shrugging, "I won't be surprise if we all end up getting a detention tomorrow" I added nonchalantly. All five of them let out a series of moans and groans.

I just chuckled at all of them and sighed. "Lets go home before the janitor or something catches us" I muttered. I stood up and started stretching and waited for all of them to get up. We all headed towards the car park together, the school was eerily quiet, our footsteps made an echoing sound up and down the hallway.

It's really weird…I came to school with such a heavy heart, hatred pouring out of my every pore. Leaving the school, I have to say was the complete contrast. I felt light, as though a great weight had been lifted. However, I couldn't shake the feeling that we were being watched as we were leaving the school.

I could feel the hair grow in the back of my neck, and I couldn't fight the urge. I looked back, and I saw the window I had stood behind of just two days ago, pondering about why the hell I kissed Edward. I could have sworn I saw a movement coming from the room. I paused and just stared, waiting for whoever was in the room to move out of the shadows.

I felt someone nudging me, I spun around and came face to face to Alice. She was looking at me with a worried look. But then it was gone, she smiled meekly at me before giving me a hug. I looked down and smiled at her. We walked down the car park holding on to each other for support.

I had missed her so much, but my thoughts were too far away that I had to do a double take when she asked me a question.

"Do you mind giving me a ride Bella?" she asked sweetly, nuzzling her nose against my shoulder.

"Huh?" I asked in confusion.

"Well, looks like Edward's gone, and I can't exactly walk home, what if I get raped or something?" she said, her manga eyes going rounder by the second. It was quiet heart breaking really. I cooed before pinching her cheeks. "Aww, of course I'll give you a lift!"

She smiled happily and ran up to the drivers side of my car. I stared at her for a second of confusion, "What?" I said dumbly. She smiled, showing me her teeth.

"Well, ever since I saw you drive away with this thing, I always wanted to take it for a spin….so pretty, pretty, pretty please Bella?" she said sweetly. I sighed and just nodded in agreement…I mean, how can you say no to those cute little puppy eyes?

I turned to the others and waved at them. I sat inside the car, put on my seat belt and watched Alice's amazed expression as she touched the leather steering wheel. Then as though I wasn't there at all, she reversed out of the car park faster than the speed of light and was careening down the slippery winding road.

I shrieked loudly and stared at her in horror. "Argh! I almost forgot that your almost as psycho as Edward when it comes to driving!" I screamed, but Alice wasn't listening. I yelled, my heart felt like it was going to pop out of its sockets.

"Oh MY GOSHHHH!!" I screeched. Alice just laughed and let out an amused sound. I watched as we almost missed crashing in to a tree. Suddenly my phone began to vibrate. I looked at the caller ID and picked it up straight away. "WHAT IS IT SAM?!" I said, I couldn't keep my voice down, not when evil Kinivel kept swerving away from ditches and slopes.

"I can see you guys!" Sam said laughingly. I looked back and soon enough, I saw his purple lamborgini racing right behind us. I quickly spun around and shook my head, giving myself whiplash in the process.

"Arghh! NO!IDON'TWANTTORACE,YOUHOBO!" I screamed out incoherently. I clutched my chest as Alice swerve to the right, right in to a completely different street that lead straight to the forest.

"Hmm Fine! You're no fun Bells! See you at school tomorrow!" he said before disappearing through the road that lead to his house. I looked back and realize we were near the Cullen house already. I recognized the deep forest that lead to a closed road. I never noticed but there were actually a couple of house around the area.

I screamed out as Alice stopped the car the way I saw the Dudesons (a/n: Finnish show) did once; speeding down the drive way, and just when the car is about to hit the front door, stopping dead on, causing the car to break so abruptly.

Emmett opened the house and started laughing at my red face. He was as burly as ever, but for once I didn't care about one of the Cullens. All I could care about was stepping outside the dreadful car.

I got of there, sharpish! "Ahhh! You-you-You!! Never! Ever! Do! That! Again!" I screamed out, complete with hysteria. I felt someone lift me up, and Emmett was shaking me all over the place. "Bella!! I missed you kid!" he said in a booming voice, laughing out loud.

"Are you kidding me? Arghh!" I screamed, due to all of the commotion outside everybody stepped out of the house. I flushed when I saw Carlisle, Esme, and Edward standing there. I went an even deeper red when I saw Rosalie Hale and Jasper Hale step out from inside. They must've been visiting for the weekend.

Rosalie was glaring at Emmett, completely ignoring me. "Emmett! Put her down! You don't know where she's been!" she said condescendingly. I turned even redder and tried to pry Emmett's hands off of me. But I might as well have tried moving a wall off of me, Emmett was as strong as ever.

"That thing you did to Edward's car was the coolest thing ever!" he said happily. At that point, I just sort of stopped struggling and just stayed limply in his arms. I watched as Edward's face turned sour, he gave Emmett a dirty look. "Come on Em, leave the poor girl alone" Esme said, Emmett finally let me off.

"Bella, we are so glad you're here" she said, before embracing me. I hugged her back awkwardly. I was confused…I mean I just pretty much nearly set her whole garage on fire, all of them shouldn't be treating me with such kindness.

"Thanks…Um…yeah, sorry about the car and the garage and all" I said awkwardly, looking down at my own feet. Carlisle laughed and just smiled. "It's okay Bella, its only a car, it was insured anyways, Edward was able to get it fixed, its all good" Carlisle said mildly.

"Oh…okay…Well…I better go…" I continued awkwardly. It was too weird. I felt out of place. I mean I came from hating their son to being his friend, everything still felt pretty Alien to me at that very moment.

I started walking towards the front of the car, but Alice stopped me in my tracks.

"No, don't go yet Bells, stay for dinner" Alice pleaded slightly, pulling on my arms like a little child. I shook my head, but smiled at her so she wouldn't get her feelings hurt.

"Oh no, sorry, Charlie is probably waiting for me…So yeah…" I said casually. All of them were staring at me, Edward was looking at me in such a weird way that I started to inch towards the front seat of the car.

Esme let out a loud sigh and properly walked me to the car, which wasn't too far away from the front door. "Alright, you better take a raincheck on that, but come for dinner one of these days okay?" she said kindly. I just meekly nodded and stepped inside the car. I waved out to them and reversed out of the drive way.

I seriously don't know…I mean sure I want to be friends with Edward again…But there's still that feeling, a feeling that keeps telling me that maybe I'm wrong to just let him walk right back in to my life after being a zombie for four months.

But in the end, I just ended up convincing myself that maybe its what I need, that maybe being friends with him was _possible._

* * *

**February 24**

Edward should be banned from giving me morning hugs…They distract me a bit…

Not to mention Tanya's little evil stares completely gives me the creeps.

I seriously don't know what to do with myself. Sam and Sean had gone off somewhere for a few days, while Maya and Jill's parents both came back from their business trips, and both parents demanded they spend more time with them. So that cuts them out for a while. And Alice? Well…Jasper's here for student exchange…I understand they want their privacy.

So I'm back to being a little loner. I've stopped coming inside the cafeteria during lunch too, mostly because whenever I wander in, Tanya would instantly stick herself to Edward and would start mangling him in front of me.

If you were me, you would back away too, damn! She can really _suck. _Poor Edward.

* * *

**February 25**

The school is stirred up right now…I think Alec Volturi is finally coming back to finish senior year here in Volterra High. Whoop de doo! Another spoilt brat added to the collection. A bit unfair to say that seeing as I don't know him, so I should stop the whining.

I don't really know much about it, and I can't exactly say I care that much…But I'm curious…He is after all Jane's big brother. His name is being said in hush tones up and down the hall way as though he was some celebrity.

The school rumour mill is acting up too. The weirdest rumours are floating around about him…_I think Volterreans should just get a life_.

* * *

**February 25 (five minutes later)**

One of the rumour is that he's eaten duck before…Uh…huh? I've eaten duck before…it's a Chinese delicacy….I don't think Volterreans had ever heard of the term 'Takeaway', I won't be surprised if one of them came up to me and asked me what's McDonald's.

Oh God, imagine that, they are either stupid, or they've been living under a cave for the past sixty eight years…

* * *

_ Moment of silence as we honour the tight gym shorts…_

**author's note**

Ahhh you beautiful, beautiful readers! I am so sorry for not updating sooner, what with film making, theatrics, and high school drama, its lucky I haven't jumped off a cliff like Bella did in New Moon. I was overwhelmed when I saw that I got 21 reviews for chapter 7 alone, thank you guys so much! It definitely cheered me up! A lot of you were pretty shock with what Bella did, but please understand, she's different from the Bella from Twilight, I have to admit, the Bella Swan in the twilight saga seems to think that she can't exist without Edward...My Bella is a bit stupid...maybe even more so than Stephenie Meyer's Bella. Edward...Edward is well...he values his virtue...so he would find it wrong making out with someone when he already has a girlfriend, and part of his rage from the last chapter is more anger towards him, which Bella obviously mistook. She's under the misapprehension that Edward was angry at _her. _She's also very fragile, fragile people can be easily manipulated...enters Jane. So anyway, thank you guys so much! Next chapter I'm introducing Alec!! oh yes...Umm, there really is more to Tanya...hope you guys can see that. She's got Edward squeezed between her talons --

**Honorable mention: **edward-luver961, vampire-luver101, anon, oh-my-edward, summerlover86, soccer16, BabyBlueVamp, King of the broken hearted, JemmaWNN, SPiDERMONkEY-LOvE, Rachelandthecupcakecrusades, flower123, Twilightistotallyawesome, peaceloveandedward, edwardrocksmysocks, jaydeesgirl, IsabellaBellax3, margaritama, Rhea Bleu, Bethi-woo

Rachelandthecupcakecrusades: Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned...lol

IsabellaBellax3: LoL no sweetie, I'm totally kidding, Bella never did any of that stuff :)

**Rhea Bleu:** Hey thanks for the suggestion, but as the story progress, they are bound to change you know. But that whole hating Edward thing is the result of Jane's manipulation, and Bella was pretty fragile at the time. When feminine emotions are running, we tend to get a bit weird like that. We'd want people to be on our side, and Bella is just a victim of that flaw.

Minniluna: Kick ass review!!


	9. Chapter 9

_**DISCLAIMER: **__I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT OR DIARY OF A CRUSH! ALL OF THE CHARACTERS YOU RECOGNISE ARE ALL WORK OF THE AMAZING STEPHENIE MEYER. _

_**R&R**_

author's note: Hey guys, here's chapter 9, hope you enjoy it, and just to clear things, Alec is 18 in this one, while Jane is about 14 or 15...Bella never really finds out, but yeah, Alec and Jane are not, i repeat **are not **twins in this one. for all of you who wanted to know if Tanya was pregnant. i hope you get your answer in this chapter :)

* * *

_**Alec**_

_**Part 9**_

_**February 26**_

Okay, it's official, the whole school has gone crazy. All because Alec Volturi has finally come to Volterra Preparatory. By the rate they're all going, you would have thought David Beckham himself was transferring in!

Everywhere I go, his name is all I hear. It's quiet annoying really. The fact that the whole school is becoming united over such a small trivial thing just makes me want to gag. It's not bad enough that Maya and Jill are still away, I didn't even have the twins to entertain me! Don't ask me about Alice, I totally understand, she's off with Jasper, after all they've missed each other so much, and well Edward…he's busy with Tanya.

My brain hasn't been able to keep Edward-related thoughts at bay. Edward still entered my mind at the most random times. I mean, we had a summer romance and all, but even then, there are still some stuff I never got to know about him. The boy is still an enigma.

There's still the fact that I still don't know why he couldn't just out right dump Tanya.

This whole 'lets be friends' thing is taking a toll in my sanity, it's a bit ridiculous really. I mean how weird would it be if I just went up to Edward and said "So is Tanya pregnant?"…Personal much? So that's definitely out of the equation.

I can't seem to talk to Edward easily anymore…it's a bit weird…Which is a shame, since out of everyone, Edward was the only one who wasn't too hot on the idea of the new transfer. Hmmm, well I can totally see why. Edward has been a little bit…preoccupied lately.

Seems like him and Tanya are back with a bang. Every time I see them, everywhere I look, I'm always greeted with the sight of them making out…You'd have thought that I would be immune to it by now, but I still feel this raw stabbing pain. I honestly think that its starting to dull up my senses.

So you can understand why I don't get it. He's just some guy from Italy, what the hell is the big deal? Oh right, he's a Volturi…But still…

I walked through the car park this morning, blocking out everybody else._"Oh my God! I heard he's like totally like friends with like the royalty in like England!" _an annoying shrill voice said as I passed through the entrance. I looked at the owner of the voice and almost smirked. It was a freshmen girl wearing an all pink outfit talking on the phone to one of her friends.

I dryly noticed the girl beside Pink girl. I rolled my eyes, she was fronting on the phone too, and oddly enough, they were answering each other through the phone line even though they were perfectly standing right next to each other.

I brushed past the freshmen girl before my mouth went out of control saying smartass things that would only gain me a dirty look.

I watched the woman on the front desk, she was busy typing on the computer, she looked up and smiled brightly at me. I blushed furiously. Candy the receptionist waved at me from the front desk, and I waved back awkwardly. With one last smile, I headed towards my locker bay.

My ears felt worn out from all the _likes_ and all the _totallys_ from the little teenyboppers in the junior year, not to mention I felt my brain shrunk a little. Up and down the corridor, all I could hear was _Alec Volturi _this and _Alec Volturi _that, that by the time I got to my locker I felt like swearing to one of the sophomore girls who was giggling like a maniac near my locker.

I sighed loudly and yanked my locker open. I checked my phone to see if I had any messages at all. I had about three text messages and four missed calls. I checked my missed calls first and almost cringed. Jacob had called me four times, I almost forgot, I had been ignoring him online the past couple of days, I've been such a bitch. He might've been very worried.

"_I'm fine Jake, I'll ttyl" _I texted him. I clicked send and went through all of my text messages. The first one was from the twins. "_Hey Bells, sorry we had to go so quickly, you know how Marie can be sometimes, she wanted us to come back to Forks and spend some time with her. I know, lazy cow right? She could've just come to Alaska. Oh well, hope your having fun! See you in a couple of days! xo Sam and Sean"_

The second one was from Maya _"The rents are driving me crazy! I'm literally in the middle of no where! HELP!" _I half laughed at her desperation then texted her right back. "_At least your somewhere where you don't have to hear Alec Volturi come out of everyone's pie hole! Urgh! xo Bella" _I clicked send and browsed for the next message which was from Jill.

"_Hello Love, loving life here in paradise, no annoying individuals breathing down your neck here in Miami! See you in a few!" _that was all it said. It sounded slightly dramatic, but I just smiled. I shut my phone and turned my attention back to my opened locker. The whole ten minutes that I was distracted, I had hoped that people would at least stop talking about Alec Volturi, but as soon as I turned my ear back on, he was still the topic of the discussions. I sighed and extracted my biology exercise book from my locker and slowly walked to my bio class.

I absentmindedly left the locker bay, accidentally bumping in to some cranky people who looked like they woke up at the wrong side of the bed. They gave me a filthy look but kept walking on. People were thinning out as they started getting inside their classrooms.

I was in no hurry, I didn't really know anybody in biology class. People just sort of ignored me. I also knew that I would have a seat reserved for me in the back, seeing as I was only one who ever sat there.

As I walked inside the biology class however I had expected my usual seat to be empty, but it looked like somebody had beaten me to the punch. There was only one spot left, and it was right next to my usual spot. I frowned as I walked towards the bench dumping my stuff right next to the pile that was on my usual seat.

It was a little late to change subjects already, so I had no idea who's stuff were on my usual chair. I sighed and pushed the thought out of my mind. I absentmindedly stared out the window and started daydreaming, letting my imagination go wild for the approximate time it took for my biology teacher to arrive.

However I was distracted when I heard the scraping of chair on vinyl floor. I looked around and froze. A boy stood there, fiddling with the pencil case on the table, it looked like he was trying to remove a chain from it. From where I sat (which wasn't too far away) I stared at his slightly long shaggy light brown hair. The natural light coming through the window made his chestnut hair glow slightly. I fought the urge to touch his fluffy hair and sat still.

He must've felt my stares because he looked up. I felt something akin to a mild stroke, my gosh he was hot! His piercing eyes weren't exactly blue, they were edging closer towards indigo. His freakishly pretty eyes were staring at me in surprise. I felt my face getting hot, I knew that I was blushing.

One minute he had surprise written all over his face, then the next his lips turned in to a sensual devilish smile…nothing like Edward's of course, but still pretty knee-melting.

He raked my face, looking me up and down, then he winked at me…_winked! _I felt like my face was on fire. I let my hair fall on my cheek. It made me feel protected from _that _smile. I could feel his gaze on me quiet clearly.

He was making me nervous, I didn't even know who he was! I peeked at him but almost choked on my own spit when I saw that he was still staring at me. He had sat down, but his whole body was turned towards me, leaning away slightly, but still his eyes were uncomfortably on me.

I looked away and buried my head in my books, reading over my mitosis notes. I was writing furiously on my notebook about cell division when I felt a gentle tap on my shoulders. I slowly looked up to find the boy smiling brightly at me.

"Hi, I was wondering if I could borrow that rubber?" he asked nicely, pointing at the white block that had fallen out of my pencil case. I mutely nodded, and almost gasped when his hands brushed mine as he took the eraser. His hands felt cold, there were no electric spark or anything, but having his hands brush mine made me feel uncomfortable.

He gave me a bright smile before turning back to his work, the eraser to rubbed gently against the paper. I realized he had a bit of an accent too. He sounded a little European. As he busied himself with the eraser, I took the time to look at him.

I stared at his pencil case, noticing for the first time the metal frame on the side. _Gucci. _I raised an eyebrow at that. I never knew guys used Gucci too. One look at him and I knew he was a Richie.

The way he cockily looked at me before made me instantly think that he's a player. He had the same cocky confidence as one. I mean Edward sort of had the same thing going when I first met him, but I got to know him better. But damn, this guy was too in love with himself. A fact that a proved when I saw him check his own reflection on the window.

Gosh, he was so fresh that I felt like barfing on the vinyl floor. Mr. Rodriguez, the biology teacher was busy furiously writing notes on the board. I mentally let out a sigh. I mean I just can't believe my luck. I'm stuck in a classroom where I didn't know anyone, my teacher didn't pay enough attention, and now to add to my misery, I was stuck with some narcissist idiot.

I slumped on my table and prayed for the lesson to be over. I let out a sigh of relief when the bell finally went. I jumped out of my seat and left the room before anyone could even get up. I could feel a mood swing coming on, I even had my 'don't mess with me' look as I pushed through my locker. But I stopped abruptly when I saw Alice leaning against my locker, just waiting. When she saw me, her whole face lit up, then she bounced towards me.

I walked towards her slowly, coming to a stop when Alice was about to bump in to me. I caught her before she toppled both of us down to the ground. Alice was glowing, she looked so happy, selfishly enough, it made me feel like shit. But I hid it well. I smiled at her, looking behind her before looking back at her.

"So, where's lover boy?" I said brightly, giving her a teasing look. Alice smiled sheepishly before pinching me lightly. "I don't know, I'm not his baby sitter" she said, blushing slightly. "We haven't hung out in such a long time!" she said guiltily, "I'm so sorry! I'm such a crap friend" she said hugging me to her. I felt a little bit better at her guilt. Not that I blame her, if my boyfriend was here I'd be making….Never mind.

"It's alright, I mean, you're here now right?" I said casually. Then just to reassure her that there really was no hard feelings, I gave her a bright smile. She let out a breath and we both started walking towards my locker. I punched in my combination and waited for the click before yanking the metal door open. I stuffed my books inside, I felt so hungry.

I had the first two period off this morning, so I ended up showing up at school after recess. After having double back to back biology class, my brain felt like it was going to explode.

I slammed the metal door shut, walked away once I heard the familiar click. Alice was chattering on and on about Jasper. Seems like they've been up to _a lot _lately. I could tell that they loved each other by the way they both looked at each other. There was something there. The two of them could just be staring at each other, yet the moment would feel so intimate and private that you feel like you have no other choice but to look away.

I found myself wishing for the same thing. You know, find a cool boy who I like and likes me back, everything is easy, he adores me, nothing else matters. Wouldn't life rock then? I felt the choking sadness that came whenever I came to grips with just how lonely I really am. My thoughts somehow ended up with Edward once again.

I was aware of the holes in my life, I felt it ripped when Edward broke up with me, then again when I saw him with Tanya the first time I ever saw him. I shook my head, instead I focused on walking, I mean if I focused on walking I couldn't possibly break out in to tears right?

I put on a smile for Alice, nothing can dampen a good mood than a sad face right? I followed Alice through the door. I looked at her in confusion then stopped abruptly. "Hey Alice, the cafeteria is that way" I said. Alice looked back then smiled.

"Yeah I know, can we go to the track field first? I gotta give this to Edward" Alice said, holding up a sandwich and a bottled water.

I shrugged and just nodded. I hadn't seen Edward all day. I avoided his wretched morning hugs…No, I don't hate them…I like them too much…Yes, just imagine me groaning right about….NOW.

We threaded through some old brick buildings, pass the man made lake. We were walking on the footpath lined with naked trees. It was freezing outside, the gust of cold wind made me remember the boy from biology class. I went red-faced, luckily Alice didn't see.

She was talking about Rosalie Hale now. Alice knew I wasn't that warm towards Rosalie, mostly because she acted like the ice queen whenever she was around me. Apparently Rosalie had been staying at the Cullen's place for two months now, which made me think _what the hell? Was I the only one who's boyfriend didn't even bother trying? _I frowned at that and forced it out of my mind.

But as soon as that thought squeezed its way out of my head, another squeezed right on its place. Before I could stop, I was firing away like a question machine.

"What's Tanya like? Is she a cow? Does Edward really like her?" I fired at Alice. Alice stopped abruptly and spun around, she looked slightly uncomfortable about my questions. Then another question came out of my mouth that made Alice cringe.

"Why can't Edward break up with her?" I said in a small voice, looking at Alice, trying to decipher the weird look on her face. I know, I know, Edward and I were just "friends" whatever that meant, but I'm still curious, I really wanted to know.

Alice let out a deep breath, looked down then looked up again. "I…sort of made a promise to Edward…" she looked at me guiltily. "He looked really down, so I asked him. I basically had to promise him not to blab to anyone" she continued, her eyes looked sad and worried at the same time. "Sorry Bells" she said apologetically. I couldn't say anything else. I shrugged instead.

"No, its fine, it was unfair of me" I mumbled to myself. Alice hugged me tightly, we just sort of stood in the footpath that way for at least five minutes. I looked down and noticed the sandwich and the bottled water. "Shouldn't we get going?" I said, pointing at the sandwich. Alice looked down and jumped up. "Oh my gosh! Argh! Completely forgot!" she yelped. I giggled slightly, we both started towards an oval shaped dome.

The whole building looked ridiculously like a colosseum. The grass were cut short around this area, we walked passed some picnic tables where some Goth kids hung around. I awkwardly looked away. Alice and I walked through the entrance, went up one flight of stairs, the whoa…As we walked through the only thing I could think of was…Holy crap! It is a colosseum!

It reminds me of one of those soccer fields…the professional ones. The place had bleachers, and stands going up and down the column, the grass looked green and perfectly cut, as though it had been trimmed early in the morning. As we stepped out in to the sunlight, we saw a race going on. Alice and I walked down the stairs that lead down to the field. My eyes instantly zeroed in on Edward.

He was running head to head with some guy, he was working up a great sweat too. I saw a bit of moisture trickle down his well toned arms, his face was set, completely focused. Tanya was dressed in her cheerleader outfit, wearing one of Edward's jackets. She turned around and saw me. She glared at me momentarily, and I looked away.

Her face looked so beautiful, it made me sick, there was no way I stood a chance. I sighed loudly and looked around the complex. My eyes zeroed in on a lone figure clutching the railing. It was Jane. I had no idea what she was doing there, but I didn't bother saying hello.

My focus went back to Edward, who was doing his last lap. He had slowed down a bit, some other guy overtook him. I felt my pulse go haywire as I watched the two of them going head to head. Just as when the other boy was about to reach the finish line, I saw Edward push a little, and suddenly he was gaining momentum. I felt my heart jump slightly as he overtook the other boy and reached the finish line first.

Edward was smiling as the coach patted his back, the other boy had his back turned, so I couldn't see his face properly. His chestnut hair looked familiar though. Edward turned around and his gaze caught mine. His face sort of lit up, and I gave him a small wave. He was looking at me for a while, just staring, while I stared right back at him.

I think Tanya must've felt recognised the danger. She instantly ran up to the field like the perfect little girlfriend she was and jumped on to Edward's arms. Edward looked surprised for a bit, but he smiled down at her. I felt my heart sink a little as Tanya brought down his head, and right there and then they started making out like mammals.

I felt like hitting her with a blunt object, but I refrained. I noticed a movement behind me and I swiftly turned my head to find Jane coming down the stairs and straight to one of the runners. She ran up and gave him a bottle of water. I looked at the boy who was draining out the bottle, I noticed the way he looked at Edward, as though he had wanted to stab him. From where I stood I couldn't completely see his face, but I recognised his red jersey and the tut of chestnut hair. He's the guy who came second, the guy Edward just beaten.

I felt like I've seen him somewhere before, he must've felt my gaze because one minute he was drinking from the bottle, the next he had paused and stared back at me. Jane was saying something to him, and I don't know…I think she was smirking? It might have been my eyes playing tricks on me though.

Jane looked at me fully, and I could see that she was smiling. She waved her little arms at me. She was so much smaller than the other guy, but there was something akin uncanny resemblance between the two of them. Jane started walking towards me. Alice noticed and she looked at the two approaching people.

Alice's eyes narrowed as she looked at Jane. "Urgh! What the hell does she want?" Alice hissed menacingly. I looked at her in surprise, I mean _what the hell was that?! _

There was nothing friendly about the way Alice looked at the little girl, the look that passed between them could only be described as cold.

As the two of them got closer, my eyes adjusted and focused on the taller boy next to Jane. It was that narcissistic lug from my biology class! My mouth hung open and stayed there. Nobody seemed to notice, except of course my classmate. He was smirking at my expression. I hastily shut my mouth and stared at him.

"Hey Bella!" Jane said in a friendly voice, completely ignoring everybody else around her. Alice, Edward and Tanya all looked at me, as though expecting something. I turned even redder as I smiled at Jane.

"Hey" I said, giving her a modest half wave. She was smiling brightly as she pulled the guy behind her.

Jane pushed the boy at the front and smiled widely. My eyes zeroed in on his well muscled chest. He's pretty hot, I'll give him that much. I could tell he knew what my eyes were looking at so I focused my eyes on little Jane. Jane giggled slightly at us.

"This is my brother Alec! He just came back from Italy!" she said enthusiastically, her voice reminded me of a pretty tinkling bell. Something in me turned to defence mode back then. As soon as I heard his name something inside me sort of started to ring, as though I just hit the jackpot.

It felt weird, I always imagined Alec Volturi to look a lot like a dwarf, but nope, he looked more like the pretty elves in Lord of the Rings, minus the long blonde hair and the weird ears. Now that I can actually put a face on the stranger, I sort of wished I had never met him.

He was so intimidating, not to mention cocky. He looked like the type who ate girls like me for breakfast. He kept giving Edward sly glances before he turned to me. He took hold of my right hand and kissed it softly. I felt a shiver ran up and down my spine.

He was looking at me playfully, he still had my hand. Something in me wanted to take it away…but you know, I didn't want to be rude. "Ahh…I already know her little sis, we go wayyyy back" he said, emphasizing on _way. _I flushed slightly and pulled my hand away. I was starting to feel uncomfortable, while Alec looked like he was enjoying himself.

I heard a guttural sound coming from behind me. I turned around and found Edward, his eyes looked cold as he stared at Alec. Alec looked back at him nastily, but he extended his hand. "That was a good race, we should do it again soon" Alec said, not sounding convincing at all. I felt the chill between the two of them as they stood face to face.

Edward took his hand and shook it. Edward looked down at me then back up at Alec, then walked away with Tanya following closely. I turned around to look at Alec coldly, but he was looking back at me innocently…so innocent that it reminded me so much of Jane.

Jane laughed loudly, "Haha, well that wasn't awkward at all" Jane said. Alice gave her a cold look before grabbing my hand. "We need to go" she said loudly. Jane looked offended, "She doesn't look like she wants to go, maybe you should just leave her" Jane said slyly. I just stood there in the middle of them, I was starting to feel like a furniture.

I looked at Jane and tried to smile. "I have to go, sorry, I'll see you around Jane" I said in a small voice, avoiding Alec's gaze. As Alice and I started for the exit, I spun around and looked at her angrily. "You really didn't have to be so rude you know, Jane was being nice!" I said in a hush harsh tone. Alice shook her head and laughed bitterly.

"Oh, she's fooled you too huh?" Alice said casually. I looked at her in confusion, Alice just shook her head. "Jane is evil" she said strongly, I just looked at her as though she had some lose screw inside her brain. "I'm serious Bella. She's an innocent little angel now, but she'll screw you over!" Alice said in a serious tone. Somehow I couldn't believe that.

Alice wasn't finish though. "And that brother of hers, what an idiot, did you see the way he looked at you?" she said in a disgusted tone. Alice looked down at my right hand, and eyed it warily. "Maybe we should put you in quarantine, who knows, he might've transported rabbis on you" she said sarcastically. Alice was being so harsh, and it just wasn't like her at all.

She looked at my confused expression and sighed. "Look…I just don't want you to be hurt alright?" she said seriously, her eyes filled with worry. "The way he looked at you, it was like you're the shiny new toy he wants to play with" she said tersely. I think Alice was overreacting a little bit. I mean Jane's been nothing but nice to me, her brother just seemed like a typical jock, but he and Jane seemed closed. So he can't be entirely that bad…right?

I didn't let on anymore, because honestly? I didn't think it was really worth it.

After lunch time I went straight to my literature class which I usually had with Maya. But since Maya was off somewhere with her parents, I was on my own. I sat there and doodled all over my notebook waiting for Ms. Ryan to come. I heard someone slump themselves right next to me. I turned around and to my horror found Alec Volturi sitting there.

Ms. Ryan came in the same time as Alec so she was already opening up the copy of 'Shakespeare's complete sonnets' when Alec spoke loudly enough for everyone to hear. "Hey, shouldn't you be opening your book, rather than-" she stopped shortly, pretending to look over my notebook, "writing 'I heart Alec Volturi' all over your notebook?" she said loudly. I turned bright red and I glowered at him. I snapped the notebook shut and continued glowering at him. "I was not writing 'I heart Alec Volturi'! Gosh get over yourself!" I said harshly. I couldn't help it, it just sort of came out.

Alec looked taken aback for a second, so did everyone in the class, I felt like I was seriously having an aneurism in front of everybody! Alec's surprised expression turned to one of mock tenderness. "Aww you love me? That's so sweet baby!" he said before hugging me to him. I let out a seriously girly squeal and tried to thump his head. I know I overreacted a little bit, but loneliness often drove people to do crazy things like thump the school owner son's head.

It looked like Ms. Ryan finally had the last straw when neither of us listened to her. She banged both of her hands on the table and looked at us furiously. "The two of you are disrupting my class! Leave now before I make detention slips rain down on both of your pretty little heads!" Ms. Ryan said loudly, her face turning a bright shade of purple. Alec and I got up and out on to the corridor, sharpish. I started walking away from him but he followed me. "Aww Bella! You know that I was just joking!" he said, sounding sincere for once. I gave him a filthy look and gave him a good one on the back of his head.

"Ow! I said sorry already!" he whined. I just rolled my eyes and went past a class that was having their lessons outdoors. We were getting curious glances, mostly because Alec kept trying to poke me with some random stick he got off the ground.

"Ow! Quit it!" I said heatedly. As we rounded a corner, we saw someone in overalls painting on the school mural, just over coating the faded colours. I turned around to Alec and glared at him. "Urgh! Stop following me!" I said in frustration. The guy wearing the overalls turned around, and I almost choked. It was Edward, I had no idea what the hell he was doing, but man, the boy even looked good in rags!

"Leave her alone Alec" Edward said menacingly, and he stood right next to me, glaring at Alec. I wanted so bad to clutch his arm, but I refrained. Alec was staring at Edward coolly. "Huh, yeah right, I'll do it if she really want me to stop" he said in a husky voice. I frowned at him then looked at him like he was deranged. "I've been telling you to leave me alone for about ten minutes now" I said in an exhausted voice. Alec looked at me as though he couldn't believe I just said that.

He huffed loudly, "Whatever" he said in a lazy manner. He walked back towards the literature room swaggering a little bit. I let out a sigh and looked at Edward. "Wow, my knight in shining overalls" I said sarcastically. He shook his head and grinned sheepishly.

"Shut up!" he threatened mockingly. I narrowed my eyes at him and grinned.

"Make me!" I said, sticking my tongue out. Edward's face suddenly turned serious and he looked away. "That would be a very bad idea" he mumbled softly, loud enough for me to hear.

I scoured for something to say but came up with blanks. I looked at the wall then smiled. "Nice paintjob" I said lamely. He looked at me, but smiled anyway.

"My punishment for coming late to class" he said, grinning at me. I nodded at him, mentally laughing inside. "Wow, you're quiet the rebel huh" I said mockingly. Edward smirked then. He looked at me from his peripheral view. "So, why were you with him?" he asked quietly. I just shrugged, but didn't look at him. "We just got kicked out of class, you know how it is" I said casually, trying my hand at acting cool.

Gosh, I'm such a tool.

He laughed at my little act, pretending to wipe tears from his eyes. "Ahh you're my little rebel aren't you" he said nudging me. I smiled at that…_Edward's little rebel_…it has a nice ring to it. I swallowed audibly and looked away sheepishly.

There was another awkward silence before I blurted out the stupidest thing in the whole entire world.

"Uhh….E-Edward?!" I stuttered. He looked back at me curiously, placing the brush on the floor.

"Yes Bella?" he said softly, his velvet voice making me feel all fluttery inside. I looked at him and took a deep breath, I pretty much just dug my own grave, thank you very much!

"Umm..ahh..Ummm When you said you couldn't break up with Tanya, she's not pregnant is she?!" I squeaked. I was turning so red, I couldn't believe I just asked that question straight up. Edward first looked at me in surprised then he started laughing so hard. He was shaking his head, and I just sort of stood there like an idiot. I took a step back and started walking away when I felt his hands on my arm. "No Bella, she's not pregnant" he said seriously this time.

I looked at him, and tried to see if he was telling the truth. He was…I could tell. Those wide eyes were staring at me unblinking. "Things are complicated. I'd rather not say" Edward said softly, shrugging nonchalantly. I felt offended then, I looked at him shrewdly, I swear my mood swings gets worst every time.

"I thought friends were suppose to tell each other everything" I said accusingly. Edward just laughed at that and playfully punch my shoulder. "Yeah I know, but trust me, this is something you don't want to know" he said gently, he stroked my cheek then, his hands left a trail of electricity across my face. I closed my eyes and nodded.

"Besides" he said, dropping his hands away from my face, "Its way too Freudian and complicated, you'll end up getting a brain tumour" he said, I could feel his pain somehow. I touched his hands and gave it a squeeze.

"Yeah well…You're not alone" I said matter-of-factly. He gave me the crooked smile that always left me weak at the knees. "Yeah, I know that" he said softly.

For the rest of the afternoon I just sat on the side, watching him paint the walls with different shades of colours. When it was time to go home, I sort tried to mesh in with the wall when I saw Tanya running up towards Edward. She jumped on him and gave him a passionate kiss.

I awkwardly slipped away and got out of there…fast.

Today was just so weird, meeting Alec and stuff, then the lengthy conversation I had with Edward, the of course Alice's weird behaviour towards Jane. I can't wait to have the twins back. Maybe they can make sense of everything for me. Urgh, I really should just stop thinking, my brain is fried tofu right now.

* * *

**To **Jacob Black

**From** Isabella Swan

Dear Jacob,

I am so sorry! For not writing, for being such a cow! But my text was right, I'm fine! No broken bones, maybe except my heart, but lets ignore that since my heart was always dysfunctional. So how have you been? Have you heard anything about Forks lately? How's the boys? Say hi to them for me, alright? If you don't, I'll totally kick your butt! Hehe just joking!

So Volterra Prep is a bit insane right now. Some new kid just moved here…well actually he's not just some new kid, he's a runt though. He annoys the crap out of me, a bit of a narcissistic idiot though. Loves himself too much! Oh, I heard from Charlie that Leah and Sam broke up, oh my gosh! I was so shocked when I found out. That's got to be the worst thing ever. How is Leah these days? Is she doing alright?

I really hope you're looking after yourself Jake. And oh yes, the next time you see Marie, give her a hug for me!! Anyway, I have to go, I already have panda eyes, I'm exhausted.

Love,

Bella

* * *

**To **Isabella Swan

**From **Jacob Black

Hey Bella,

You scared me for a bit. I thought you blocked me! I guess you heard about Sam and Leah huh….Leah is struggling right now…She's not feeling very well. I'm not sure how much Charlie has told you but Sam's ran away. He went and eloped with Leah's cousin, Emily Young.

Everything is such a mess here Bella, the whole gang is falling apart because of this little rift. We were always such a close group, now its like I don't even know Leah anymore. We're scared that she's going to do something stupid and end up getting herself killed. Everyone is still looking for Sam and Emily, even Billy's been gone for two days now.

It sucks so much Bells. Anyway…please don't ask me to hug Marie, I might end up cutting her and turning her in to chop liver!

Much Love,

Jake

* * *

**Author's note **

Hey everybody! So now that you've read chapter 9, I want to have feedbacks! What did you guys think of Alec? I liked writing him, he's an asshole, which makes it so much more fun. More of Alice's personality floated up on this one. Bella is as dense as ever. Anyway, I wanted to update before disappearing off the face of the planet for a week. I'm going to be so busy with my media film, I'm basically buried in work right now. Not to mention I have to learn my new monologue for theatre! Wish me good luck guys! And hopefully I don't lose readers when I come back. And please review guys! I love receiving reviews, they are awesome!

Ps: I never proof read any of my stuff, sorry for not mentioning it before. But yeah, busy and all, thank you for tolerating my crap grammar. If anyone is interested in doing BETA work for me, that would totally rock! :0) preferably someone dedicated :p

Pps: thanks for all of you who reviewed the last chapter, hope you got your answer in this chapter!!

PPPS: Oh please can I have a tonne of review, I want to see just how much people can show this story love!! Like I want to be blown away when I open my hotmail account in a weeks time!!


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I've put up enough disclaimers, I think you guys pretty much get the point right? (go check last chapter, or the one before that…)**

**Author's message: **Okay, I know its been more than a week…I did warn you guys. But I'm sorry for the late update all the same. Anyway, I've decided to write shorter chapters, I realized that having very long chapters can be very daunting, I really hope you guys can understand. If I can't read it, then I can't put it up. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this! Thanks for everyone who reviewed this story last time!! I really hope this story isn't too uneventful, I'm trying to build it up slowly. Anyway, here's chapter 10, and don't forget to **REVIEW! ****Or I'll go on strike!** (Grins)

**Rumours**

**Part 10**

**March 1 (In the library)**

I always thought I had the worst luck in the world, but come on, this is just getting ridiculous! I'm not having a very good day at the moment so please excuse the theatrics.

First of all I woke up to find half of my closet soaked infinitely, the overboard pipes had burst sometime over the night, and it just so happened that right beneath it were my clothes. All of the clothes I considered all right smells like mouldy crap that had been stored under a rock for millions and millions of years.

I didn't even bother to take them out. After yelling and going crazy, Charlie finally called up the plumber and took out all of the dirty clothes out of the closet. There was one part of the closet that wasn't soaked. Unfortunately they were the clothes Alice had brought me in Forks during one of her random shopping sprees.

I never touched them mostly because I took one look at the label and knew that they had cost a fortune. They were seriously ranging from American to Italian brands, I even spied a custom designed Jacket from Finland!

Now when I said one half of my closet got soaked, that included my normal shoes as well. I had no other choice but to use my extra pair of expensive clothes. I sullenly put on a pair of navy blue skinny jeans, two layers of t-shirts, then finally the most simple jacket I could find. I felt warm and comfortable, even warmer when I wore the snug winter boots.

When I ran down the stairs Charlie had been reading the paper, he looked up and smiled. "You look good Bells, it's a good thing you had extra clothes" he said encouragingly. I frowned at him and took a breathe. "Are you kidding? This little ensemble cost more than my old Chevy truck!" I said sullenly.

I took one bite off the toast and kissed Charlie on the cheek before heading out. I sullenly jumped inside my car and let out a sigh. _Things can't get any worse than this, _I thought to myself. Gosh, was I mistaken.

I could see that the parking lot was filled with students chattering, but as soon as I walked out of the car, the whole place kind of went quiet. I saw some of the girls giving me a dirty look, while the others smirked. _"That's her" _I heard someone said. I looked down feeling a little paranoid. I walked out of the car park as quickly as I could, avoiding everybody's gaze.

I don't know what the hell was going on, but I was about to find out.

I walked through the entrance just like usual, keeping my eyes to the ground, trying to keep the attention away from myself. I walked past reception and gave Candy a smile, but instead of getting one back, the receptionist greased me off. I walked off absolutely bewildered.

I started walking really fast, not really paying much attention to where I was going. I walked past the double French windows and tried not to mind all of the weird looks I was getting, and trust me, I was getting a lot; they were mostly evil glares from the young freshmen girls, and curious looks from the much older kids.

I looked down and upped my pace until I smacked face first in to someone. I felt someone's warm arms snake themselves around me, but what got me frozen was the beautiful familiar scent. I slowly looked up with a sheepish grin.

Edward was looking down at me with a small smile on his face. "You know Bella, you really should stop throwing yourself at me" he said jokingly, setting me straight, making sure that I didn't topple over in the process.

I lightly punched his arm as I pulled at my jacket. "Ha ha, very funny" I said rolling my eyes slightly. Edward was wearing a white long sleeve top under a grey t-shirt that said 'Mr. Darcy ain't got nothing on me', that made me crack a smile involuntarily. But my smile went away as soon as my eyes travelled down his taut physic. I swallowed slightly and counted to five before meeting his gaze again.

He was looking back at me, smiling slightly. I could see that he had a firm grip on his books, I practically saw his knuckles whitened slightly. "So…Hi…How are you?" I said awkwardly, when what I really wanted to say was "I want to eat you. NOW".

He smirked slightly as though he could read my mind, the sides of his lips quirking up slightly. I blushed slightly and focused my eyes on something that wasn't his chest, his eyes, his lips, or his stomach. I noticed Alice standing there smirking at the two of us. She looked at me and gave me a teasing smile. "So if you guys are done having eye sex, I'd really like to get to my locker" Alice said, chuckling.

Jasper who stood behind Alice gave her a small nudge to shut her up. My blush grew even more obvious. I looked around to see if Tanya was anywhere near Edward. I was surprised when I saw that she clearly wasn't. Tanya had pretty much stands by Edward like a watch dog now a days. I could tell it bothered Edward, but to my annoyance, I often overheard him talking gently to Tanya as though she was a fragile thing.

Tanya was anything but fragile, actually she looked like the type who would punch me square on the face without breaking a nail. But I'm guessing he enjoyed her overbearing behaviour…

Alice was still chuckling, while Edward was blushing slightly. But Alice's chuckles stopped and she stared at something behind me. I felt someone tap me and I turned around not really knowing what or who to expect.

"Hey Bella" Alec said brightly, I nodded. He didn't stop though, he just kept walking. Some of the sophomore girls hanging about saw our little exchange. I don't know, but they must've seen my red cheeks and thought they were because of Alec.

One of the girls who wore a rainbow scarf nudged her other friend who shrugged slightly and looked straight at me. "I guess they are together then" rainbow scarf's friend said casually, her brown eyes trailing after Alec dreamily then focusing her cold gaze at me.

I looked away and tried to tune them out, but they were talking loud enough that even Alice and Edward were listening in intently. .

"Who is she anyway?" one of the three girls said.

"I heard she's the chief's daughter" rainbow scarf said.

"Well I don't care who she is, but damn, is she wearing prada?…" another voice said.

I blushed furiously again, I could feel their gazes from the back of my head. When I looked up I realized Alice was staring at me with a bewildered expression. I turned to Edward, he also had a hard expression on his face.

"Bella?" Alice said in a funny voice. Jasper was also staring at me with a funny expression that his baby blue eyes reflected. I stared from one to the other in confusion. "What?" I said to the both of them.

Then it dawned on me. "Wait…what? No!" I said with conviction. They thought that what the sophomore girl said was true. I looked at Edward, his face looked like it had turned to stone. I looked back at Alice again, then let out an impatient sound.

_What the hell_. They actually believed that I was dating Alec the big man in the campus, sarcasm injected on the last bit.

"You can't honestly believe that!" I said in an annoyed voice. I watched Alice shrug, I could tell she wasn't convinced.

"Well the last bit was true, you are wearing Prada" she said, staring at my clothes, "So why can't the other bit be true?" Alice said rationally. I gave her a shrewd look, I could feel my anger bubbling up. I mean, I already had such a shit start of the day, I really didn't need this too.

"Why can't it be true?" I said sarcastically. "Well lets me see, he's an idiot, loves himself too much, he has a penis growing out of his head, and his ego is the size of China. Have I left anything else out?" I said venomously. The frustration was starting to build up, and I felt like I was about to explode.

"Besides Alice, you already know who I li-" I started to say _like, _but I stopped abruptly before anymore of my real feelings leaked out. I looked at Edward, giving him a filthy look. "I have to go, I'm going to be late for English" I said sharply and turned to go.

But I stopped once again and looked back at Edward crossly, "Idiot" I said in a sulky voice.

"Wait, Bella-" he started, but I didn't give him a chance. It was a nasty thing to say, but hey it made me feel good, but…I kind of regret saying it now…NAH, not really, and you'll see why.

I walked straight to my locker, ignoring all of the whispers. At first I didn't know just how bad the situation was until I heard at least ten more people say my name and Alec's name in one sentence, and that was just between the space of about five minutes.

I hurried to my English class and cursed when I found Maya and Jill's spot still empty. They've been away for about a week or so now. I know I didn't know them that much, but they still made better company than my actual friends at the moment.

I sat on my usual seat at the back and ignored Alice when she walked in. I stared at the wall blankly when I felt her sit next to me. Mr. Hill wasn't in the room just yet, and the students were just coming in one by one. I felt a tap on my shoulder, I knew it was Alice. I shrugged her off and continued to look at the wall as though it was the most amazing thing I had ever laid eyes on.

I felt Alice tap my shoulders once again, still I kept on ignoring her. She finally jabbed me fully on the shoulders and I let out an angry yell. When I spun around Alice was putting her whole puppy dog eyes on full for me. I groaned and whined.

"That's not fair! Don't make that face!" I half pleaded. But unfortunately Alice kept the puppy dog eyes. I growled slightly and looked away instead.

"Bella…" Alice started saying in a small voice. She could tell that my defence was weakening. She poked my arm once again, but I kept my eyes away. I heard a thump and a bag of jelly beans landed in front of me.

"Jelly Belly?" Alice said cutely. I groaned loudly and took the jelly bean pack and frowned unhappily at her.

I knew she felt guilty, I could tell whenever she felt guilty. Her lips would start to quiver, her eyes would go round, and if the occasion calls for it, a little moisture. I faked some sniffles before looking at her again. "I'm sorry Bella. I know we were idiots, sorry…" Alice said sincerely, looking utterly bombed.

I shrugged, "Well I can't say its fine…" I started slowly, I watched her straighten a little and she focused all of her attention on me. An idea was forming in my mind, and who knows, maybe I'll need it one day.

"But you can make it up" I added, twirling my pen around, a small smile pulling at the sides of my lips. I gave my best friend a sideways look waiting for her reply.

She was looking down, as though contemplating her next words. Then she looked up and smiled at me. "Yeah…okay" she started, her voice getting louder, "I, Alice Brandon Cullen owe you a favour, but it has to be reasonable" she added the last bit as a last thought, then she held out her hand.

I smiled evilly taking her hands, for a second Alice looked uneasy. "This is going to be fun" I whispered, so only she could hear me. I didn't really mean anything by it, but in a way it was my way of revenge…(Insert evil laughter)

As soon as Mr. Hill walked inside the room, we got carried away with Shakespeare's sonnets, mostly because Mr. Hill was not in a particularly good mood. The class passed by way too quickly for my liking, soon enough it was gym class. Another chance for me to show the world…just how hazardous I am…Oh yeah, I'm so bad to the bone, so bad in fact that I'll probably break other peoples bones in the process.

Alice and I headed out towards the gym. I haven't talked much about the dance lessons, but it just can't get any worse. Edward was always in his dance mode, he was always too engulfed, a little too detached from reality and frankly, I preferred him that way.

I guess he never noticed just how much I ogled him…

Alice and I walked in and headed straight to the change rooms. It looked like Alice and Jasper had done the dirty deed indeed, but of course she wouldn't let me call it that, she said doing the dirty deed with Jasper was special. Gosh, I can't believe they've done it already, I guess it is pretty special for them.

Alice and I changed near the back, so we were uninterrupted. As Alice motioned to change her clothes I saw a blue foil packet drop out of her t-shirt breast pocket. My mouth hung open and I blushed furiously. Alice noticed my face and instantly looked confuse. "What?" she asked, her eye brows furrowing slightly.

I coughed awkwardly and pointed at the condom packet on the floor. Her gaze followed my finger and she blushed furiously. "oh…right, well…ahem! Not a word to anyone" she said awkwardly. I just agreed, I mean what do you even say to that?

We silently piled out of the change rooms. I went and met Edward at our usual bench, but I stopped abruptly when I saw him talking to Tanya. It looked like they were having a heated row. Edward tried to grab Tanya's hand gently, but she pulled it away angrily. She spun around and stopped when she saw me standing there.

She gave me a smile completely void of humour, she turned back around and grabbed Edward's face and kissed him, she whispered something in his ears. I watched Edward's face fall slightly. I couldn't believe the fact that he just stood there and took that.

I watched Tanya stalk out of the room, followed by her sleazy dance party. Jeremy tried to give her a one arm hug, but Tanya slugged him roughly. Jeremy let out a groan and kept his distance. I closed my eyes as the door slammed. Everybody's attention were on Edward. I opened my eyes and met Edward half way.

"Are you okay?" I said softly, looking up at him. Edward put on a happy smile and shrugged.

"I'm alive aren't I? All my limbs still intact?" he said jokingly, but I didn't find it funny. I looked at him unhappily. "Why?" I asked him, but he just brushed my question away. He looked at me fiercely then looked away. "Edward…Just tell me the truth" I said softly, touching his arm. I half expected him to brush it away, but he kept my hand there.

He looked at me wistfully for a while, for once he looked exhausted, I wanted to stroke his face and get rid of the lines that appeared on his perfect face.

He paused for a bit, then finally took a deep breath. "You can't handle the truth Bella" he said softly. He turned around and sat on the bench. I was speechless, I didn't know what to say. It hurt, it really hurt a lot. He was pushing me away, but then again, I had no right to feel anything, he's just a part of my past after all.

I felt him put up a wall around him, he looked so out of reach. I didn't know what else to do, or what else to say, I just walked out of the gym quietly. I wandered around the school for a while, and somehow finding myself in the same room I had found myself in only a couple of weeks ago.

The same beautiful room where I had spoken to Jane about Edward. I sat by the window and just looked out over the forest and the small little town around Volterra Prep. I leaned my head against the window and didn't see the door opening up.

My head snapped up when I heard it slam. There were three senior girls who I had seen sitting around the popular table. I had no idea who they were, but I could tell they didn't come by to say 'hi'.

The girl in the middle had a pixie haircut that was nothing like Alice, her cold eyes glinted malice as she stared at me. The other two that stood at her flanks looked insignificant by comparison.

"Well, well, if it isn't little Ms. Isabella Swan. How's daddy's little girl doing?" Looks like you've got the whole school talking" the girl with the pixie haircut said. The other girls right next to her smirked at me, and they all started walking towards me slowly.

"Wow I don't get it. How did you end up getting Alec Volturi, who is obviously a hottie, when you're obviously so not" she said sassily.

I stood there staring at them warily. Looked like the rumours really were bad. The girls cherry bomb hair colour looked faded and teased under the natural light, but her face looked like it was about to eat me.

She was standing right in front of me when the other two started shoving me around like a rag doll. I tried to keep my baring, and tried to yell out, but the only thing that came out of my mouth was 'Leave me alone!' I sounded so pathetic, that I had wanted to hit myself afterwards.

"How about no slut! Not enough you've pretty much got the whole school fooled with your designer clothes, but I know that the town is pretty much feeding you right now…" she said sassily. I wanted to scream bloody murder, but I got the feeling that that would have been a very bad idea.

One of her cronies shoved me to the ground, and I fell down face first. I felt my face hit the ground, and I could have sworn I heard something crack. Blood started oozing out of my nose, the girls started laughing like hyenas, all the while the disgusting smell of rusting metal started to fill up my senses.

I could feel my delirium coming on strong. I was about to slump on the floor in surrender when I felt somebody pull me up. I pinched the bridge of my nose and looked up to stop the blood from pouring everywhere. I held back the nausea as I tasted the blood in my mouth. I was starting to feel dizzy, and just when I was on the edge of consciousness I looked at the person holding me up to find Alec looking down at me _worriedly……_

I woke up inside a small white room. Nobody else was inside the room, but I could hear muffled voices outside. I realized that the smell of blood was finally gone, but I still felt nauseated somehow. I got up too quickly, I felt the room spin around. I felt myself falling once again. I let out a curse and got up slowly this time.

I looked around the white room and found photos of baby animals on the sides, I realized that I must've been inside the nurse's station.

I massaged my head and started for the door. I could still hear the voices from the other side, but I couldn't make out what they were saying. My pace quickened when I heard shoving and pushing coming directly from behind the white door.

I quickly yanked the door open and was shocked by the sight that greeted me. Edward had Alec pinned against the wall and it looked like he was about to plant a punch on Alec's face. My brain worked fast and I yanked Alec away from Edward.

Edward looked at me in surprise, and I looked back at him in anger.

"What the hell are you doing!" I said angrily. Edward let out a frustrated sound when he saw my hand clutching Alec's hands. Already I could see wrong ideas planting themselves inside his head. Edward shook his head at me and stared back angrily.

"God Bella! You are such an idiot!" Edward yelled out. I flinched slightly, dignity over took and I lashed back at him.

"I'M THE IDIOT?" I said coldly. I laughed humourlessly at that. "Alec saved me from bullies, what have you done other than leave?" I said frostily.

He looked back at me with a mixture of guilt and hurt. I knew that was low, and I shouldn't have said it…there's no use in crying over spilt milk. I turned away from him and yanked Alec out of the room.

We were inside the nurse's office. The school nurse was no where to be found. I walked out of the room seething.

Alec and I ended up in the library somehow. We sat in the classical fiction area and just stayed there while I cooled off. I can't believe Edward actually did that!

I looked at Alec and he was looking back at me. "How's your nose?" he asked casually, pointing. I shrugged, it felt weird, just like every time I got a nosebleed, not to mention it hurt like a cow. I knew it was going to bruise.

"Thanks a lot for saving me back there" I said, referring to the incident with the three girls. It was his turn to shrug. "Meh, it's what I do for friends. You are…my friend right?" he said, confirming as though his life depended on my answer.

I shrugged, I mean the guy really wasn't that bad after all. "Yeah, I guess" I said, smiling finally. Alec nodded and patted my head. "Now that's a good girl" he said jokingly. I swatted his hands away and took a deep breath.

"Gawd, you and Edward are such maniacs" I said roughly. Alec looked offended at that.

"I don't get how you classify Cullen and I under the same species, that's just completely bonkers. Besides, don't you know that I am the epitome of perfect?" Alec complained. I just rolled my eyes and ignored him.

* * *

**March 1 (At home)**

Okay, Edward's been sending me messages apologizing, and begging me to pick up my phone. The boy needs to take a hint. All he's ever done to my sanity was break it, and now I am edging towards insanity...again.

The rumours are driving me crazy, everybody thinks Alec and I are together. It probably didn't help considering he and I spent the rest of the day behind the library just talking about nothing in particular. And to add to my little catastrophe, I think I may have a stalker.

I just received a message from a private number. "It's not over until the fat lady sings" and with it came a little animation of a lady who looks a lot like me getting her head chopped off. I felt the shivers running up and down my back.

I don't get it. I honestly don't! Which concept of I want to stay invisible is so hard to understand? I don't know what to do. Should I show Charlie? I mean it could just be a stupid prank someone is pulling on me, but then again, knowing my luck, it could also be an axe murderer waiting to pounce on me.

What to do, what to do.

* * *

**Reviewers corner**

Since i couldn't answer you guys through email, I might as well reply on her :0)

**lost-girl666-** Hey, thanks so much for your review! That was so sweet! Hope you liked this chapter! Tanya+Pregnancynever going to happen

**Bethi-woo- **As much as I am itching to answer your questions...We both know we can't give anything away now, can we? Anyway, hope you had a fun holiday :)

**edward-luver961-** LoL! You make it sound so predictable...but hey, maybe, maybe not. You are just going to have to wait and see :0)

**Minniluna-** Hey, i think you're misunderstanding something. Edward wasn't the one who told on Bella, somebody else told the principle and the principle confronted Edward. The school principal is weird that way though, you will see more of her personality later, and hopefully you will understand her character more :) And Jane...we all know she's up to something...well, just wait and see :) Thank for the review!

**Cherrios!!-** LoL, you're not the only one who thinks that :D

**Rachelandthecupcakecrusades-** He's also fun to write :)

**edwardandbellabelong2gether- **Hahaha, I don't think you give Edward enough credit. Oh well, you'll know soon enough, its not like he has any choice...

**kayPOTTER x-** Ahh, questions, and more questions, just wait and see, but you wont find out anytime soon :p, just keep reading and keep showing love :)

**Luvntwilight-** Well, she is a hottie superbomb :) doesn't explain anything AT ALL

**dueling in shadows-** right on!

**flower123-** Hmm I'm afraid you are going to have to find that out for yourself

**peace.love.and.edward.-** Do you have any idea how many people asked me if she was pregnant? nope?

lol good, neither do I.

**vampire-luver101-** Thank you :)

**therese23-** Edward...has to deal with a lot, you'll find out sooner or later

**Rhea Bleu-** hmm i agree with you... muhahhhaahahhhaaa (evil laugh)

**jaydeesgirl-** oohh awesome, you have kickass psychic powers!!

**margaritama-** LoL as much as Bella loves to think she's a wilting wall flower, that could never happen to her, i mean look at the people that surrounds her :D


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: Go see chapter one, which ever floats your boat :)**

oh yeah, I don't own 'Wherever you will go' by the call, or 'only hope' by mandy moore

**The calm before the storm**

**Part 11**

**March 10**

They've abandoned me, they've left me here in Alaska to die! I just know it! Why else would the twins not contact me for a week and a half. They've completely disappeared off the face of the planet. Things would have been so much easier for me if they were here, then maybe I would be able to ignore the rumours that much easier.

That's right, the rumours that I talked about before had doubled in size, and you know what? They get even more absurd day by day.

Some people might bask in all the attention I was getting, me on the other hand is absolutely hating it. It's not helping that I'm currently not talking or taking any calls from Edward, Alice was acting really strange too.

I've got a feeling that she feels great sympathy for her brother. Well…fair enough, they are siblings after all, but what about me? This feels like torture. I need to talk to someone! Or else I am going to go insane.

* * *

**March 10 (Later)**

I'm sorry I know I wasn't making any sense before. I've been very jumpy lately. The result? Rambling on and on about random insignificant things.

It's true though, I really need to talk to someone. You remember those messages I got nine days ago? I've been getting some more. Actually I've had about ten already, not to mention I feel like I am being constantly watched. the text messages gets even more and more graphic everyday.

Last night I felt like there was somebody in the room with me, I kept my eyes closed and ignored the dreadful feelings that kept popping up. I was home alone.

I was more aware of the scraping of the branches right outside my window, and every pitter patter sound I heard sounded like footsteps going up the stairs.

I groaned every time the house made a sound. All the same I kept my eyes closed and thought of my happy place and happy time. A place in the middle of the run way, surrounded by trees, in the arms of a boy who's warmth I desperately needed.

I took deep breaths until my own memories took me back to one rain drenched day that never failed to take my breath away. With those thoughts I fell asleep only to be woken by Charlie's footsteps from downstairs.

Charlie…I know, the smart thing to do would have been to tell Charlie, but he's been very busy lately, he's been in and out of the house a lot lately. I just couldn't find the time to tell him. I would have to tell him though, either today or tomorrow.

I wish I could talk about it to someone though, I missed the twins like crazy. And despite the fact that I really didn't know Maya or Jill, I still missed them. I missed Maya's dry humour, and Jill's sarcasm.

* * *

**March 11**

I was rushing towards the cafeteria during the start of lunch time when a certain fluffy haired boy ambushed me and practically dragged me the other way. One thing was for sure, Alice was not going to be happy with me.

I yanked at my hands and glowered at Alec. "What are you doing? I have to get to the cafeteria!" I said loudly. I tugged at my hands, but his grip was very tight. I sighed then dug my foot on the ground.

"Will you shut up, I just want to show you something" he hissed, noticing instantly the unwanted attention from random people who just happened to walk by the two of us.

That's pretty much us now. He'd drag me away, I'd try to scream bloody murder, but still end up following him grudgingly in the end. I had wondered how the hell he found me in that little room a week ago. My first thoughts were he was stalking me.

I was wrong I guess, I was so far from the truth. I frowned at Alec as he tightened his grip on my wrists. I looked back at the cafeteria door wistfully, then glowered at Alec.

"I consider this kidnapping you know" I said in a cold voice.

Alec sniggered then looked at me. His breath caught then he snorted. I gave him a filthy look, resisting the urge to punch his pretty face.

"Will you stop with the theatrics Juliet? Don't worry, this Romeo is not going to rape you" he mocked, his voice filled with humour.

My scowl deepened. I knew I shouldn't have told him about the stupid play, but it was a stupid slip. Still though, I can't believe I opened up some stuff to him. I even told him a bit about Edward.

_When I told him about Edward he just snorted. "I already know" he had said in a low voice. He had pushed back his hair casually, then turned to me. "Jane had told me" he said simply. I frowned at that. _Of course_. They just looked like the type of siblings who would tell each other everything. _

We went up a flight of stairs. I instantly recognized the passageway. In no time at all he was pushing me inside the little music room where he had found me passed out on the floor being taunted by three girls whose name I never learnt.

I had wondered how the hell he ended up there, but I got my answer today. It turned out that the old fashion room was his own little hide out. What are the chances huh? I just so happened to stumble across his own private little space.

As we walked inside, I noticed that the fireplace was lit. The fire emanated a distinct orange tint to the room.

The room temperature felt good compared to the awful crisp winter air outside. I looked near the piano and noticed a guitar leaning against the side. Alec headed straight to the guitar and sat on the piano stool.

He looked up expectantly, and I sighed. I moved towards him and sat next to him. "So, what do you want?" I said, all the fight in me just seemed to have died away. Alec looked at me warily before reaching for a folder.

He opened it and took out a piece of paper. "Well, I wrote a song, and I wanted to know what you thought of it" he said casually. He wasn't looking at me. I started to wonder if he was feeling nervous or shy, but I realized he was merely getting his equipment ready.

He took out his black guitar out of the case gently. He tested the guitar and found that the thing was still beautifully tuned. He sighed and started strumming. At first I wasn't expecting so much, but as soon as he started playing, the melody began and I found myself closing my eyes.

When I opened them, they focused on Alec's face. For once he wasn't Alec_, the pretty boy. _He was transformed, there was such fragility that seeped through his lyrics, as though his heart was really aching.

_If I could, then I would_

_I'd go wherever you will go_

_Way up high or down low_

_I'll go wherever you will go…_

The pain in the lyrics filled me up with curiosity. I mean its not exactly newsflash. Alec and I had somehow formed the most unlikely friendship. Another reason why Alice was very hostile with me at the moment.

The lyrics of the song made me think that perhaps there really was more to Alec than meets the eye. As he finished the song, I could feel goose bumps running up and down my arm. I knew I had shock written all over my face.

It was just that good! The last person I heard played that well (even better) had been Edward. It seemed like a lifetime ago, but the memory of Edward's beautiful music playing in the air brought back other memories that really didn't need to be tapped.

I swallowed audibly. I knew Alec was waiting for my feedback. I didn't know how to react. Hugging him would have been weird, but if I started clapping, he would think I was weird. So I settled with silence. I don't think I would have been able to say anything at that very moment anyway.

He was snapping and flicking his fingers in front of my face, it didn't help the shock at all. So I uttered the only words that could form in my head.

"Wow…" I said in awe. Alec, who had looked worried before hand, relaxed completely. He smiled and for once he looked a little embarrassed.

"Yeah…its just a little song I wrote a year ago" he said, casually shrugging. There was a red tint on his cheeks which I found utterly adorable. _Don't hate, I'm just a girl_.

I nodded and gave him a smile this time. There was a formidable silence as we stared at each other. We didn't have a moment or anything, it was just…

Alec cleared his throat then raised his eyebrows, he was back to his old self again.

"So anyway, yeah I just wanted to show you, coz I'm thinking of entering battle of the bands next month. Do you think its good enough?" he asked. I just nodded.

Huh. Why did he even bother asking? I could tell from his voice that he knew his song was good enough. He probably just called me up so he could gloat.

He shifted slightly so his body was turning towards me.

"So…How about you? Do you play an instrument?" he said, clearing his throat once again.

I uneasily fidgeted, my eyes wandering towards the piano. He must've noticed the direction of my gaze because he too stared at the piano keys. He raised his eyebrows at me, and it was my turn to clear my throat.

"You play the piano?" he said in a surprised voice, obviously staring at my stubby fingers. I knew what he was thinking about, and I blushed. My fingers had always been short, that's why I never pursued piano, I just knew the basics.

"Yeah, mum thought me how to do it. But I don't play anymore though" I said in a low voice. I felt uncomfortable talking to him about this topic. I wasn't Mozart or anything, and my skills were kindergarten level compared to Edward's.

"So, play me something then" Alec said, a light smile forming on his lips. His cocky façade was gone, and I have to say, I quite liked him this way. It gave me an insight of the kind of person he was inside. You know, if you put aside the whole _I'm a famous Volturi, I'm so hot! _bit.

I hesitated before turning around to face the keys. I suspended my hand on the air, leaving room for more hesitation. I took a deep breath then brought my hands down the keyboard gently. I started to play the first notes to 'Only Hope' by Mandy Moore, my fingers were gentle on the keyboard.

I know he didn't ask me to sing, but it just seemed like the most natural thing to do. I'm not a brilliant singer, but I'm not tone deaf either. My voice was soft, some people might even say it sounded sweet.

_I'll give you my destiny_

_I'm giving you all of me_

_I want your symphony_

_Singing in all that I am_

_At the top of my lungs_

_I'm giving it back…_

As the song continued, I was surprised that Alec hadn't stopped me to insult me. I mean he just seemed so much like the type of person who would do that. But then again, when it comes down to some things, I just don't know Alec Volturi.

The song ended in such a sweet melancholic fervour. I took my hand back and laid them on my lap. I waited for Alec to say something, _anything, _but he was quiet. I finally turned to look at him to find him staring at me with a really weird expression on his face.

"Who are you? What did you do to Bella?" he asked in a bewildered voice. I rolled my eyes at him and blushed furiously.

"Well, it wasn't that good…" I started, but stopped when Alec started shaking his head.

"Are you kidding? Its like you're not the same person when you're playing. It's freaky" he said sincerely. I just blushed some more then instantly got nervous when I saw a bright spark in his eyes.

Something I recognised. Jane often did that too. The whole sparkly eyes thing I mean. I knew that a plan was forming in his head, and I definitely didn't like where everything was going.

Then as though a light bulb went off in his head, he looked at me through new eyes. "I know, why don't you sing something for battle of the bands?" he said enthusiastically.

I shook my head immediately. "Are you insane? Hell no!" I said straight away, making chopping gestures with my hand.

He looked at me all wide eyed, and it was all I could do to stop myself from finding him so adorable at that very moment. He was nodding his head as though to say 'yes' while I was shaking my head to say 'no'

We shook and nodded for a while until he held out his head. "Okay, we need to stop before we get whiplash!" he said, massaging the back of his neck.

"Look, why don't we make a bet? If you win, you don't have to do anything. BUT, if I win, you are going to sing you little heart out at battle of the bands!" He pushed on. I sighed, looking up at the ceiling.

I knew he wasn't going to let it go. He would probably annoy me or pull some strings that would mean I would have no choice but to agree.

I sighed then nodded at him. "Fine, so what's the deal?" I said in a resigned voice.

He smiled mischievously then. "I bet The Striker twins will be back today" he said. I frowned at his weird bet. I shook my head. "There's no way! They would tell me when they would come back. Duh!" I said, suddenly so sure of myself.

Alec just laughed at that, then took out his hand. I shook it. The end of lunchtime bell rang and I jumped on my feet. There was no way he was going to win this.

Alec and I parted ways. I turned and waved him goodbye one last time before turning to go. I stopped abruptly when I found Edward standing there, leaning against the wall. "Are you following me?" I hissed. He looked up then and gave me a guilty look.

I rolled my eyes and walked passed him. I felt him hold my wrist and I spun around to face him. "What?!" I snapped. Edward flinched slightly and let go of my hand.

"Look, we really need to talk" he said in a casual voice.

"No, all the talking is done. Don't say were friends either, because last time I checked, friends don't keep things from each other!" I said angrily. All my anger just escaladed.

Edward was running his finger through his hair, looking utterly distressed. I just couldn't afford to soften up, not when my annoyance was so strong. I mean, I'm not his friggin door mat, he can't step on me whenever he wants!

But damn it! That guilty look on his face made me soften up just a tad bit.

"Look I'm here to tell you the truth okay?" he said. I crossed my arms then and waited for him to spill. But Edward looked at me uncomfortably. "Not here…" he said in a low voice.

Before I knew it, he had dragged me towards a small empty room where he sat me down on top of a table. He remained standing, phasing up and down as though trying to contemplate what to do next.

"Look, Tanya is…she's…" he started. I could tell that he was having difficulty talking. He took a deep breath then looked at me. "Tanya is crazy" he finally said.

I stared at him, raised my eyebrows. I was about to leave when he stopped me. "Please, just hear me out. I'm not lying. Tanya really is crazy. She's suicidal. I've tried leaving her so many times before…Over and over again she would threaten to kill herself, then she would start breaking things, she's a screwed up basket case! I just can't leave her alone, not now" he said in a pained voice.

I could tell that he was telling the truth. It pained me to see him beating himself over this. And I could tell he hated it, hated the fact that he felt restless, no doubt he probably feels like he's holding on to Tanya's life with a peace of breakable string.

I felt an incredible anger and resentment towards Tanya. I wanted to lash at her, I wanted to hurt her, beat her to the punch. But I knew I didn't have enough courage to do that.

Edward had his face on the palm of his hands, and I could feel the frustration emanating from him. I jumped off the table and walked towards him. I hugged him tightly feeling like I was the only thing that was keeping him intact.

He wasn't crying, Edward was stronger than that. I kept him in my arms for a bit until I felt his arms wrap themselves around me too. We stayed that way for a couple of moments until his irregular heart beat went back to normal.

I sighed and pulled away. I honestly didn't know what to say. In a sick twisted way, I was glad that he told me, glad that he wanted to leave Tanya. A string of hope sprung inside of me which I tried my hardest to push away.

My hands were still in his, he was stroking the back as though it was the most fragile thing in the world. I could feel it again, that magnetic pull.

As though there was a force field that was pulling me towards Edward, I slowly went back in his arms. Our bodies fitted together like puzzle pieces. I rested my face against his chest, while he rubbed slow deliberate circles behind my back.

I closed my eyes and listened to his heartbeat. But we sprung apart as soon as we heard the door being yanked open.

"Oh! There you are! Where the hell have you been?! We've been looking everywhere for you!"

I stared in shock. Sam and Sean Striker were standing in front of me. They were pulling at Edward and me, pushing us through the door. I couldn't really register what the hell was going on, because at that very moment, all I could think about was I just lost the stupid bet!

"Wait, wait! What the hell are you two doing?!" Edward yelled at the two of them, trying to pry their hands off of mine.

"No time to speak, gotta get out of here. Lots to talk about!" Sean said hastily. We found ourselves being pushed out of the school building. When I finally snapped back to reality, I took in my surrounding, my brain still reeling.

"Wait, I'm confused, what are we doing in the car park?" I said dizzily. The twins tutted, not answering my question. They pushed us inside their cars, and before I knew it, we were driving away from school.

I took in Sam's anxious expression, then Sean's worried face. I knew that something was wrong. Something was very wrong.

"What the hell is going on?" I said in a small voice, looking from one to the other.

"James is out Bella, he's back" Sean said in a grim voice. I looked at Edward, completely horrified. Just then I heard my phone beep, indicating I just received a message.

"_Payback is a bitch" _That was all it said. Four small words, yet I could sense the hate in each and every syllable.

* * *

--

**Author's Note**

Aww shucks you guys, I expected so much more reviews from last time. But that's okay, review this one please! Reviews makes me update faster! For those of you who reviewed this last time...Thank you! You guys always brighten up my day. School is almost over!! YAY! more time for updates. So anyway, as you can see the story has moved again. Let me know what you think, and hmm yes I hope Edward's little revelation answered your questions! More things are going to happen, if you want to know, then review!!

xo-Rose


	12. Chapter 12

i know, i know, I'm so sorry I haven't updated. Special sorry to just.another.temptation, i know you check on my story all the time, I'm so sorry! I'm not even going to tell you an excuse, mostly because you've all heard it before. But here it is, I really hope its not too much of a disappointment! Please review!

**disclaimer** is on the first chapter

This was beta'ed by Miniluna...thank you!!

**The inconvenient truth**

**Part 12**

_**Still March 11**_

Sean drove at break neck speed. I felt dizzy, and I could feel nausea rising up._James was back…_How the hell did he even manage to weasel his way out of reform school?

My hands tightened around my phone as I stared at the graphic photograph that came with the message. It was a rotting rose that had maggots crawling around it, as though it was a decaying body.

Chills ran up and down my back as horrifying thoughts flew inside the window of my mind. I looked at Sean and Sam, not quite grasping everything just yet. Edward was looking at me intently; he knew that there was something I wasn't telling him. I looked away from him, fearing he might read my mind. I turned back towards the twins and took a deep breath.

"You guys had been away for so long, what the hell have you been up to all this time?" I said weakly. If I had said the word any louder, my voice would have quavered. Sam looked at me for a second, assessing my pale face.

"Marie called us up and told us to come back to Forks immediately. She told us not to tell you" Sam started. I was about to interrupt but he cut me off.

"I know, I know, sorry alright? Do you want to hear the rest, or are you going to grumble?" Sam asked sharply. I shrunk a little in my seat and nodded for him to proceed.

But he didn't continue, he looked out the window and turned back towards me. "Actually on second thought, I'll tell you inside" Sam said.

I looked out the window and realized we had stopped right in front of a black iron gate. The gate swung open, and we drove through it. I looked around, the area was pretty secluded. There were no signs of any other houses, and the area was surrounded by a forest.

I don't even know how the hell we ended up there, but my first guess of the owner had been right. It was the Strikers' residence in Denali.

The house was smaller in comparison to the house they had in Forks, but it was probably much more beautiful. It was styled as a cottage, with the traditional chimney made out of rocks. My mouth was hanging open by the sheer beauty of it.

It was designed like the old English cottages, but its size was way bigger than an actually cottage…_It looks more like a mansion. _

As we stepped out of the car Sam grinned. "It's pretty isn't it?" he said casually, smirking at my expression. I just nodded. I could feel Edward's hands on the small of my back; he gently pushed me to start walking.

I stumbled towards the front door, tripping over at one point only to be caught by Edward. I looked up at him and smiled sheepishly. He just shook his head and sighed.

Blushing, I followed the twins towards the front door.

The inside of the house was beautifully furnished, but I didn't get to see much of it as Sean grabbed me and led me towards a small door inside the kitchen. We went down a flight of stairs, where the place was shrouded in darkness.

I nervously looked around, feeling awfully claustrophobic. I felt somebody behind me and I spun around abruptly. Edward was standing there, holding on to my waist. I let out a breath I didn't even know I was holding.

Sam was the one leading us down the stairs. I heard him flicker the light switch on, the whole room lit up and I was finally able to see my surroundings. I realized that we were in a very spacious basement.

There were old bikes stacked up against the wall, as well as a folded up trampoline. Up and down the walls were all kinds of tools. There was a waft of warm breeze circulating the room.

I looked up and found a vent where the heat was coming from. Sam and Sean sat down on the brown couches that held the folded trampoline back. I sat down on the larger couch with Edward and waited for Sam and Sean to speak.

The two of them were unusually quiet. I turned to Edward to find him staring at me with those clairvoyant green eyes again, I felt like he was looking right through my soul. It was all I could do not to squeal at the tension. I quickly looked away and focused back on the twins.

"Marie called us when she found out Victoria was still in town" Sean started.

"Seems like your little friend never left town at all" Sam added, looking at me.

"We went back there and started snooping around" Sean continued, smiling a little bit for some unknown reason. Sam snorted at that then looked at me. "She's a bit stupid, you know we were able to follow her without trouble," Sam said in a low voice.

"So, about two weeks ago, she finally realized that you've left Forks. We followed her all the way to Port Angeles, then inside La Bella Italia and watched her have a massive freak out. I have no idea who she was talking to. We could tell that it was a girl from the sound of her voice. But this girl obviously knew where you had gone, she told Victoria that you're attending Volterra Prep right now" Sam said in a dark voice, his face contorted in to a nasty scowl, and he started to grip the sofa tightly.

I felt chills creeping up and down my back. I looked down at my phone, all kinds of horrible thoughts entering my head. Edward must have felt me tense up, because the next thing I knew I was being gathered to his side with his warm arms around me.

I felt myself relax and leaned on to him for a bit.

"To make matters worst, we heard that James was released from reform school ten days ago…" Sam said, but my mind turned off for about ten seconds. A buzzing sound filled my ears and I looked down at my phone once again. Sam was still talking, but whatever he was saying was lost in my mind.

Sam looked at me worriedly. "Now I wouldn't be too surprised if he just randomly jumped you right now, I'm pretty sure he's already in Alaska" he said in a light tone. I felt like collapsing, and I probably would have if Edward had not been holding me.

Sam was still saying something, but his words were lost. I looked to Edward, and he was frowning down at me. I held out my phone, and spoke up. "I've been getting these messages" I said, my voice coming through hoarse and weak.

Sam stopped talking abruptly; everyone's eyes were on me. I shifted uncomfortably, but Edward didn't let go of me.

"What do you mean?" Edward said in a strangled voice. Both the twins were looking at me intently. I took a deep breath and told them about the messages, the graphics that came with it, and how I got one everyday from the past ten days.

The whole room was quietly staring at me; I felt Edward's arms tighten themselves around me. My heart was beating so fast that it felt like it was going to burst out.

"Why…Why didn't you say anything to me?" Edward whispered angrily. I knew the reaction I was going to get, and I couldn't help but feel a little defensive.

"Well in case you haven't noticed you've been pretty _pre-occupied _with Tanya and with punching out innocent bystanders" I reminded him unwillingly. His face clouded over with anger and he looked away. I broke away from him, moving away to create space between us.

Sean and Sam looked at the two of us in confusion.

"Exactly how much have we missed out on?" the twins said in unison, looking at each other with a smirk on their faces.

Edward looked at them darkly. "Oh, Bella is all about making friends with jerks now." he said sarcastically, still not looking at me.

I looked at him for a while, then rolled my eyes, "Yeah, you should know, your one" I scowled. The twins coughed loudly, I looked at the two of them, my face still set in a scowl.

"What do we do now?" I said in a frustrated tone. Everybody was quiet for a while, all I could hear was Edward's angry breathing.

"Act like nothing is wrong…" Sam said, as though getting an epiphany. Sean looked at him, as though he was catching on to Sam's little bubble of thought.

"Yeah…Just let the chips fall wherever they may" Sean said, motioning to drop a few chips on the imaginary table.

I looked at the two of them, "This is crazy, I have to tell Charlie" I said in a small voice. I knew it was something I had to do. I feel like I'm always keeping secrets from him, it's not fair.

"Yeah, we know that Bella, but how the hell do we explain that a psychotic old classmate is back again and wants to chew on your head?" Sam said rationally. I didn't know how to answer that.

After so many months, I had never told Charlie about James. Only my closest friends knew about him.But what can I do right? It has to be done.

I felt Edward come a little closer. He held my hand and squeezed it gently. "I'll come with you" he said in a soft voice. Despite of all this insanity, I couldn't help but feel happy when he said that to me.

I looked at my watch and gasped when I saw just how late it was. "I need to go home, Charlie will go ballistic if he comes home and finds out I'm not there" I said slightly panicked. I started to get up but there was a sudden sound upstairs. Someone was trying to pry the door open.

I looked at the twins, who were both on their feet.

"Are we supposed to be alone?" Edward said nervously at the twins. I watched as the twins nodded.

"All the servants are gone, we're alone" the twins said in unison. The door rattled again, and my heart skipped a beat. I looked up at the door, whoever was up there had managed

Edward stood in front of me, waiting. My heart skipped a beat when he wrapped his arms around me.

We could hear footsteps coming down. Whoever was up there missed a step and came tumbling down the last couple of steps. The figure rolled down and fell straight on the black net on the floor. It tried to get up and I let out a loud squeak.

The nets fell out and I was able to see the person's face.

"Urgh, a little help would have sufficed!" Marie said in a frustrated voice. She was half way fixing her hair when she noticed me standing there gaping at her.

"Oh, hey Bella…Edward…how are you?" she said awkwardly at us. I clutched my heart and allowed myself to let out a breath.

"My Goodness Marie, announce yourself next time!" Sam said irritated. Marie looked at all of us sheepishly. "Oh. Sorry" she said, embarrassed. Marie's face was pink when she came up and hugged me.

"I missed you kid, Forks just ain't the same without you, even annoying Jacob is getting old" she shrugged. I gave her a small smile, my heart was finally going back to its normal phase.

"Yeah, well looks like trouble followed me all the way here, how funny is that?" I said in a high tone, my voice coming out all pitchy.

"Ah so my brothers told you already. Well were not going to leave you, you're always safe with us, you know that" she said solemnly. To be honest, the only one thing was running through my mind at that very moment was…

_I am so screwed. _

I don't think simple words can ever make me feel better about this whole thing.

Edward and I left the Striker household. The twins had let Edward use one of their cars. On the way home, my heart felt heavy, as though somebody had gone and weighed it down with rocks.

I felt sick about not knowing where my future was going to go. I bit my lips and looked out the window. The silence in the car was deafening. I knew that Edward was looking at me; his focus was completely away from the road. _Great, _I thought to myself, _a car crash would be the cherry on top of my sundae. _

I looked at Edward and sure enough, he was looking at me, with a slight frown forming on his beautiful lips. "Marie is right you know? I'm not going to let anything happen to you" he said softly, removing his right hand away from the steering wheel and placing them on mine.

I didn't even notice when it came, but sure enough tears had started falling down my face, my lips started to quiver, and I let out a sob. Edward pulled over on the ditch then gathered me to his chest.

"Shh Bella…Don't cry, I won't let anything happen to you…" he whispered over and over again over my childish sobs.

"I'm just getting so sick and tired of this…I have the worst luck in the world. You should stay away from me!" I said my voice shook so much that it was almost unintelligible.

"Shhh. Don't say that, if anything, I consider you the luckiest girl in the world. With what's happened to you, I'm surprise you're still standing strong" he whispered soothingly. But it didn't help despite the fact that the way he was rubbing my back was starting to calm me down.

"But what if I run out of luck?" I said in a small voice. Edward held on to me tighter and kissed my forehead. "That's never going to happen, I'll always have your back" he said strongly. But I couldn't help the inkling of doubt that surfaced.

Despite how sincere he probably felt at that very moment, I just knew he wouldn't be able to hold on to his words. _Tanya will always be there between us, it's just not the same. _I thought sadly.

His touch had an effect on me. I felt my breathing slow, and I began to calm down. It made me feel sick that my heart depended on him so much, yet he was like a drug that I just couldn't get out of my system. I wanted him to keep on holding me, and to never let go.

All too soon, we broke apart, Edward dried my tears, and I gave him a fake smile in return to let him know that I would be fine, when really, I was cringing inside.

As Edward pulled over to my house another thought entered my head. "How are we going to tell Charlie?" I said in a tiny voice. Edward was quiet for a moment, contemplating.

He took my hand once again and looked at me, his emerald eyes unreadable. "We should tell him now…" he started slowly. I knew I looked slightly panicked for his hands gripped mine even tighter. "Everything will be alright" he said encouragingly.

I nodded then stepped out of the car. Edward was walking right behind me, not touching, but his presence made me feel safe somehow.

The automatic light flickered on, and the path became illuminated with light. The door swung open before I could even press the door bell, Charlie stood there looking angry as a bull…And he was looking straight at Edward.

I bit my lip uncontrollably and tried to stand between the two of them. But before either Charlie or I said anything, Edward had stepped up, and held out his hand. "Good evening Chief Swan. Sorry to be taking Bella home so late like this. But we really need to talk to you" he said politely.

Charlie stared at Edward as though he grew another pair of head. Then he looked at me suspiciously. "You're pregnant aren't you?" he said instantly. I flushed an angry red and scowled at him.

"No! I'm not!" I snapped. Now it was Charlie's turn to blush. He sighed loudly and nodded. He stepped aside and let us in.

I turned to Edward and he gave me a small smile as though to encourage me.

We headed straight to the kitchen table where the three of us sat down.

Edward spoke first. "Sir, there's been bad news. I'm aware that Bella never told you this but last year she was stalked by a boy whose family you might have heard of, James Malone?" Edward started. I waited, Charlie nodded in agreement, his lips were set in a grim line, but I could still see the confusion in his eyes.

"Well, this boy was doing illegal things at school, and Bella had seen him-" Edward said, but he was cut off by Charlie.

"Did you gas on him?" Charlie said to me. My annoyance grew even more.

"Hell no! He thought I gassed on him, but I never did. He started to threaten me and stuff, and I was starting to get scared for my own safety, that's why I did stupid things to get myself expelled!" I said indignantly.

Charlie was staring at me with a surprised expression, while Edward held my hand.

"Bella, I was hoping to get through this like adults…" Edward said, still trying to calm me down.

Charlie started shaking his head at me. "Why didn't you say anything before?" Charlie said in a sad voice. Guilt was finally starting to catch up with me.

"I'm sorry, but I just didn't want you to worry…a couple of months ago, I thought you hated me dad. I mean what could I have said? _Some psychotic ego maniac is after my blood? _I don't think that would have gone down very well" I tried to say rationally.

But disappointment was written all over Charlie's face. "So why are you telling me this now?" Charlie said in a tensed voice. I noticed the worry in his face, it was so clearly written on his face. I felt like running up to him and giving him a hug, but I refrained.

"Last year Edward's dad was able to convince Mr. Malone to send James to reform school, but he somehow found a way out again. He's back, and he's here in Alaska…At least I think he is" I added the last bit as a last thought.

I heard my phone buzz once again, I looked at the new message, this time the picture attached to the message was mine, after a few moments an arrow hit my face, boring a hole right through the picture. I shivered, my heart faltering slightly.

I snapped the phone shut.

"You know, let me rephrase that. He's definitely here in Alaska" I said in an upset voice. Edward noticed the change and moved closer towards me.

"Bella, you have more people looking out for you than ever. You'll be fine" he said soothingly.

Charlie wasn't saying anything; he was staring at Edward shrewdly. I knew exactly what he was thinking. It just goes to show exactly how much Charlie doesn't know.

I looked at Edward, not really knowing what to say. All I knew was that I needed him to leave, to leave me alone with Charlie. "Look Edward, I think you should go now…Tanya's probably freaked right now…You haven't talked to her in about three hours now" I said in a low voice, very much aware of Charlie listening.

Edward was looking at me with confused eyes, but I softly shifted my position towards Charlie. Edward caught on instantly; he nodded and started to get up. "It's nice seeing you again Chief Swan" he said politely, holding out his hand. Charlie took it unwillingly and shook it.

"Yes, yes goodbye" Charlie said abruptly. I scowled at Charlie's rudeness, got up and left Charlie in the dining table.

I caught up with Edward near the front door, already half way out.

"Wait Edward!" I called out breathlessly. He spun around when he heard my voice.

"I'm so sorry about that! He didn't have to be so rude!" I said apologetically. Edward just smiled and shook his head.

"I can understand why he would act that way Bella. I _did _break your heart" he said softly; regret adding a little ring to his voice.

Before I knew it, he came up and hugged me tightly. He affected my body in ways he shouldn't be. In my own weakness, I gave in to my urge and hugged him back.

"…Why the hell do you always get yourself in to these kinds of things?" he sighed heavily, finally letting me go. I had no answer for him.

He stepped outside in the night and started walking towards the car. But before he could reach it, he stopped abruptly and slowly spun around. He just stood there quietly, contemplating.

"Edward?" I said curiously. I started walking towards him, worrying just a little bit. I stopped right in front of him. I tried to read him, but it was like trying to read ancient Egyptian manuscripts.

But when he finally spoke, it was so typically old Edward that it surprised me.

"Bella? Can you do me a favor?" he started slowly, looking at me with those piercing green eyes.

I nodded instantly, not really thinking much of what he could be asking for, but then regretted it instantly, I mean what if he asked for something ridiculous? _Never mind. _

"Try to keep out of trouble for a couple of hours" he said seriously, his eyes boring in to mine. He must really think that I'm a walking trouble magnet or something.

"I know you so much now, I know that you attract trouble within a ten mile radius" he said jokingly. I scowled but nodded all the same.

"Same to you, Tanya must be a handful, huh?" I said casually. It's okay to be casual once in a while, especially in times when you know some psychotic ego maniac is out to get you, it livened things up a bit.

Edward just laughed at my casualness. He leaned in and kisses my cheek, something I hadn't expected. I stood there frozen; he turned around and got inside his car, leaving my mind in a mess.

I walked back inside and tried to reason with Charlie. At first he was apprehensive when I told him our plan of acting like nothing is wrong, he was keen on acting out as soon as possible. But I told him that his department could be corrupted, James' family had a lot of power. And when he suggested we went back to Forks, I told him about what happened last year, and how James was able to manipulate the force in his favor.

Charlie wasn't happy, he wasn't happy _at all_.But he was all for giving the house extra protection, and cancelling his late night shifts so he could look out for me. This was an idea that I wasn't too happy with, but precautions had to be taken.

When all the talking was finally over, I started to get up to go to bed, but it seems Charlie wasn't done asking questions just yet. "So who's Tanya?" he asked nonchalantly. I almost laughed at that, Charlie trying to be nonchalant. I knew the question must've burnt itself inside his head, leading to morbid curiosity.

"Tanya is Edward's girlfriend dad" I said casually. Charlie looked at me in surprise.

"Really? Since when?" he asked curiously, I distastefully noticed he suddenly looked relaxed somehow.

"I don't really know, I try to stay away from that question. Its something I don't really want to know" I lied. Luckily, Charlie was the only one who couldn't see right through me whenever I lied; everybody else could for some weird reason.

"I'm going to bed dad, goodnight" I said in a tired voice. I went up the steps taking two steps at a time. I walked inside my gigantic room and sat on the bed for a few breathless moments. I was exhausted, not to mention emotionally drained.

My phone started ringing. I apprehensively looked at the caller id and let out a breath when I saw that it was just Alec calling.

"Hello?" I said gloomily. There was a slight static sound from the other line.

"I won the bet!" was the first thing Alec said. I let out a frustrated sound.

"No way! You probably already knew they were coming! Cheater!" I said irritated. Alec just laughed on the other line.

"Whatever Bella, you still have to do it. A deal is a deal" he said laughing. I let out another groan; it was doing my head in!

"Get ready Bella, you're competing against me!" he said brightly, then hung up.

"Jerk!" I said, shutting the phone with a snap.

* * *

**To **Jacob Black

**Fr **Isabella Swan

_Dear Jake, _

_It's insanity in here! James is back and he's the one who's been sending me those crazy messages! It turned out Victoria was still in Forks! They both found out that I'm in Denali, this is so screwed up! And to top it all off, I made a deal the devil and lost the deal! No I have to sing in battle of the bands. This is driving me crazy!!_

_So anyway, how have you been? How's everything?_

_Love,_

_Bella_

* * *

**To **Isabella Swan

**Fr **Jacob Black

_Please tell me your not talking about the same psychotic James, because if you are…you know I'll be right there in a flash right? Just say the word and I'll rock up with all of the boys…minus Sam, since he and Emily are somewhere in Seattle. Its insanity here too Bella! I don't know how things got so bad. _

_I'm scared that Leah is losing her mind too. I saw her in the edge of the rocks yesterday, I don't know what she was doing there, but I went up there just in case she did anything stupid. _

_Anyway, you know that I'm still here for you right? Just say the word Bella, and I'll be there. _

_Much Love,_

_Jake_


	13. Chapter 13

here you go guys, to make up for all the late updates, i actually wrote this two days ago, my beta still hasn't replied, but what the heck, why keep the masses waiting right? Thank you for the reviews, and for devilslawyer for suggesting something totally awesome that may or may not be used in later chapters..._some bad things are just inevitable_

**Warning: explicit language**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

_THE DISCLAIMER IS UP ON THE FIRST COUPLE OF CHAPTERS!_

_**Ominous Mornings**_

_**Part 13**_

_**March 12**_

I woke up early this morning, feeling rejuvenated for some unknown reason. My spirit was on a high, and I felt happy and content. Until I remembered the events that happened yesterday.

I've come to the conclusion not long ago that having a psycho stalker puts a damper in to normally brilliant mornings. I looked out the window and groaned, the sun wasn't even up just yet. It was still dark and gloomy outside. How anyone could count six AM in Alaska as morning is way beyond my train of thought at that very moment.

I got up, forcing myself towards the shower. I didn't want to go to school. Something about today dashed the cheerful mood that I had when I first woke up. I felt like passing up school, until I reminded myself that the safest place for me during day time would be Volterra Prep.

After fifteen minutes of useless procrastination, I finally trudged towards the shower. I flickered on the light, and turned on the fan. I ran the hot water and slipped inside the little cubicle. I sighed as the water ran down my body, un-knotting my tensed up muscles.

I closed my eyes and thought of my happy place. A place so happy that people like Tanya or James didn't exist, a beautiful place where the sun always shone, and the clouds never wrecked anybody's day. I relaxed a little bit as I let the hot water run down my back.

But all too soon, the hot water started to turn cold. I jumped slightly at the freezing cold water, shutting the tap instantly. I towel dried myself and went back to my room to get changed.

I don't know what it is, but something about today made me feel wrong in the right kind of way. Maybe its because James is back, that he's finally gotten to me. And after a year of trying to ruin my sanity, he's finally succeeded.

I walked towards my closet and looked at all of the clothes Alice had given me. I grabbed a pair of black skinny jeans, cringing at the tight feel of them at first, then sighing in surprise at the comfort they provided. I looked down in wonder, _how on earth can something so skinny__ be so darn warm?_ I thought to myself.

I knew exactly what I was doing to myself. I was trying to distract myself from thinking what was really important. Maybe it was shock, maybe I'm still procrastinating, who knows.

I slipped on a pair of coffee colour ugboots with laces running up the sides. I was about to absentmindedly run down the stairs when I noticed I didn't have any top on. "Shit" I muttered to myself. I was also half way out the door.

I went back inside the room and put on a vintage red satin trench overlay coat I never dared to touch in fear that they were far too expensive to spill food on them.

I looked in the mirror. Its funny how different clothes can make you look so different, but somehow you still feel the same. I stared at my own reflection, with my dark mahogany locks falling in to soft curls in the bottom, just above my waist.

I was drained…I _looked _drained, as though I hadn't had any sleep in about ten days. I had purple shadows under my eyes, they looked a bit like healing bruises, and my skin was so pale and pasty. I felt disgusted staring at myself.

I pinched my cheeks to get a little bit of colour on my skin and turned around and went down stairs where Charlie was already sipping his morning coffee. When he saw me, a look of apprehension crossed his face, as though he feared that someone may come from behind me and take me away from him.

I went to him and gave him a reassuring hug, "I'll be fine dad, you don't have to worry about me" I said in a strong voice. Charlie put down his newspaper and hugged me back tightly.

"Just be careful alright kid? I don't want to have to lose you" he said worriedly, squeezing me tightly.

"Aw Cha-Dad, I'll be fine, I swear. Scouts honor!" I said, holding out my hand. He smiled at that.

"Damn, I can't believe you're growing up so fast…" he muttered to himself. I could see a little moisture in his eyes which surprised me. Charlie wasn't the teary type. Seeing him so emotional made me a little bit emotional too.

I sat on his lap, and he cradled me the way he used to when I was little. He use to rock me to sleep this way too. God, I wish I was five again, then all of this crap wouldn't be happening to me. Renee and Charlie would still be together, and I wouldn't have any ties with James Malone what so ever.

I looked at my watch, and looked up at Charlie. "I have to go now dad, I'm going to be late for homeroom" I said wistfully. Charlie nodded, rubbing my arm as though trying to keep me warm, which was pretty useless with the warm coat I was wearing. But I appreciated the gesture all the same.

I hopped on my feet and left the house. I stopped instantly when I noticed a yellow Porsche turbo parked outside our house. I smiled widely when I saw Alice emerge, looking fresh and pretty as usual.

"Hey, wow I guess you got the baby sitting gig this morning huh?" I said brightly. Alice bounced towards me and gave me a hug.

"Don't be silly Bella, I'm here as your best friend. And by the way, I'm happy to tell you that you look awesome, it's a change from your usual homeless look!" she said jokingly. I just snickered and jumped on the passenger seat of the car.

"So, I'm guessing Edward told you all about yesterday?" I said in a low voice, looking out the window at all the trees we passed.

Alice's focus was on the road, and she was driving much _safer _than usual. For once she was only running over the speed limit by a bit.

Alice had her eyes on the road, but she answered me anyway. "Yeah…he did" she started slowly, she still wasn't looking at me.

Then suddenly she turned around and was looking at me ever so seriously. "Bella, I'm scared. He's never going to stop, is he?" her voice shook a little bit as she said this. I didn't answer her question, it was my turn to look out the window.

"You're not going to do anything stupid right?" she asked me worriedly. I turned to look at her then. "Why does everybody assume that I'm going to do something stupid?" I asked, no offence meant in my voice.

Alice just shrugged. "I guess, you've never done anything completely stupid. But I'm worried, trouble seems to follow you wherever you go" she said in a soft voice.

I couldn't say anything else, even I was aware of that trait myself.

We were closing in on the school, the school car park was full just like usual. Alice parked towards the front where there was an empty spot. Praising our luck to get a parking spot right in front of the school, we both got out of the car. A lot of people were praising Alice's car. Despite the fact that a lot of the students who went to Volterra High, (with the exception of some smarter cookies) the Cullen's cars were still one of a kind.

The front lights flashed as Alice locked it. _Ostentatious much? _I heard some freshmen girls mutter as they watched Alice and I, two seniors, walk past them. I snickered at the freshmen girls and wondered if they even knew what the word meant.

Not much people noticed who I was without my usual rags, but as soon as they do a double take, it was followed with the gaping. Ahh…The gaping, what an uncomfortable experience it is. To be gaped at as though you are a piece of meat.

I tried ignored the bold looks I was getting from girls, no doubt totalling up my outfit, trying to figure out how much it must've cost. _Well…technically its zero since Alice paid for all of this…note to self…pay Alice back somehow even if you have to scavenge it out from somewhere. _I thought to myself.

Jasper was waiting for us near the office. When he saw me, he smiled widely. He just nodded in approval. "You look good Bells" he said sincerely. I blushed slightly at that, still not use to being praised.

Alice was smiling, and Jasper finally had his focus on his girlfriend. "So…you like her outfit huh?" Alice said flirtatiously, starting to play with the hem of his pin striped shirt.

Jasper just nodded his head. Alice smiled at that, "Well, its because your girlfriend has good taste" she said brightly. Jasper gathered her to him. I blushed and started inching away when Jasper started to kiss her cheek.

"Umm…I'd better…yeah…" I said awkwardly, walking away. Alice noticed, and pulled away from Jasper instantly. "Wait Bella!" she started, but she looked too dazed.

I smiled brightly, "Look, you don't need to baby sit me twenty four seven, just chill" I said reassuringly. I walked away before she could say another word.

I headed towards my locker but was sidetracked when I saw Edward and Tanya. Usually when I see them, they would either be locked in a passionate embrace, or they are eating each others faces like sea lions. But this time…It's like I didn't even know them anymore. Tanya was screaming her head off, while Edward stood there motionless, void of any humanly known expression.

His lack of emotion was adding fuel to Tanya's fire. She angrily flicked her hair out of her face and started pounding on Edward's chest. Edward took her arm and tried to pull her off of him. "Stop it Tanya, just stop it! Your making a scene!" he yelled at her, his usual velvet voice sounding awfully angry. He growled, the sound coming out a little like a lions roar.

"Oh! What?! So your ashamed of me now?! Let me remind you who picked up the pieces when you broke your little whore's heart! I mean who would be stupid enough to dump the person they _loved _so much. Here! Take this! You masochistic bastard, since you fucking love pain so much!" she screamed, hitting him in a frenzy.

Edward just held her off by putting his palm on her face, so she couldn't reach him no matter how hard she punched. "Stop! This is getting stupid, everyday it's the same! Just give it a rest!" he screamed. I backed away slightly, shaken by what I was seeing. I felt great sympathy towards Edward, for once I could see the grave he had dug himself in. I wanted so bad to go to him and pull Tanya away from him and direct my frustration towards her.

I stepped towards the two of them, but somebody pulled me back. I quickly turned around and found Alec behind me. "You do not want to get in to that," he said grimly, "Too much drama" he added. He dragged me towards another passage way that lead towards my locker. He was nauseatingly bright this morning. Not just metaphorically speaking either. He was wearing very bright yellow eccentric colours. I fought the urge to cover my eyes, because I knew that wouldn't go down too well with him.

"You're looking _bright _this morning" I snickered, casting my eyes anywhere but his bright yellow t-shirt. "Ha ha, very funny. Today is daffodil day, don't you know that?" he said matter-of-factly.

I laughed loudly at his eccentricity, and also because I knew for a fact that today was _not _daffodil day. I quickly shut my mouth when I saw the wounded puppy dog look he was putting on. "Alright, I'm sorry. But for future daffodil day days, I'll have you know that people celebrate Daffodil Day on the 22nd of August, not the 12th of March" I said, patting his back.

He glared at me, but I just laughed out loud. "Hey, on the Brightside…At least you look bright enough to brighten up everybody else" I said, grinning puckishly. He just scowled at me and ignored me the rest of the way.

Very mature of him, I know.

When we got to my locker, he kept on walking, obviously still annoyed with me. "Thanks a lot Mr. Brightside!" I yelled out, he turned back and pouted. I held back a laugh and turned towards my locker and punched in my combination.

The metal frame clicked, and I swung it open. Stuffed my country road bag inside, and shoved all of the things I needed for the first two periods inside my book bag. I hastily shut the locker and went straight to homeroom.

I went straight to the back, not really looking or expecting anything. I had stopped checking for Maya and Jill a long time ago, I mean what are the chances of them being back today right?

I sat on the back and started doodling on my notebook, not really aware of anything or anybody. My mind was on Edward, and what I had seen. I know, I know. I should be worrying about myself and my psychotic stalker, but something in me had wanted to reach out to Edward and take him away from Tanya.

I frustratingly drew circles on the of paper until it had holes everywhere. I distinctly heard a shuffling of chairs in both sides of me, but I didn't bother looking up. I was too absorbed in my own little world, that I jumped a little when I heard somebody cough right next to my ear.

I squealed and abruptly turned to the rude person who dared cough in my ears. But my annoyance was erased as soon as I saw Jill sitting there, with her eye brows lifted. I let out a squeal and flew out of my chair.

"Alright, down girl, your creasing up my vintage GASP jacket" Jill said dramatically, pushing her dark brown hair aside. I looked to my left and found Maya sitting there watching me in amusement.

"Maya!" I squealed and jumped on her too. Maya Hunter was as pretty as ever, actually both of them were. Her raven hair was pulled back in a loose ponytail so that some of the hair escaped. She was smiling at me too. But before we could say anything else Mrs. Jenkins, our history teacher and homeroom supervisor, walked in, telling everybody sit down.

The three of us sat down while Mrs. Jenkins got started with the roll call. The three of us were passing notes discreetly under the table, trying to catch up with everything through one piece of paper.

(a/n:**Bella, **_Maya,_Jill)

**I missed you two so much! Class was hell without the two of you, where the hell have you been?**

Maya threw back the piece of paper I chucked on her lap.

_I told you, I was in the middle of nowhere. Well…I was in the Himalayas, doing spiritual time, it was more like spiritual torture, I don't know how my parents comes up with such rubbish!_

I threw the piece of paper to Jill, and watched as she threw it over the top of me, smiling when it landed perfectly on Maya's lap. I watched Maya's face screw up in to a frown as she read the note from Jill. I peered over her shoulder when Mrs. Jenkins wasn't looking.

Maya, you really shouldn't say such obscene things, a lot of people go there to think. It's peaceful!

I watched as Maya scribbled something on the piece of paper. I watched the paper fly across and land perfectly on Jill's lap.

_If I wanted to think, I would have gladly done it in my own room!_

Jill looked at me, but I nodded in agreement to Maya. Jill scribbled something on the piece of paper then smirked. The paper landed on Maya's lap once again.

The key word is **peace **Maya, with all the mess inside your room, its like world war three it self is happening under your bed! 

I giggled at that, and Maya glared at me. I watched as Maya scribbled something else on the piece of paper. I was surprised when the piece of paper landed neatly on my lap. I opened it and started reading the little note.

_How about you my little pumpkin? What have YOU been up to?_

I paused and contemplated whether I should answer. How do you say 'somebody is out to get me " without sounding too grotesque? I had my pen on my hand already, about to scribble something on the piece of paper when the sound of the door opening caught my attention.

The first thing I noticed was the pure Italian leather school shoes, then the lean body that came with it. My eyes focused on the new arrivals face. His chiselled aristocratic chin was up in the air, and his pale blue eyes assessed each and everyone of the faces inside the spacious classroom until it focused on me.

A smile that can only be described as devilish crossed his face as he stared at me boldly. A shiver went up and down my arm as I realised that the ominous feeling I had this morning had been significant.

James looked at me as though I was his packed lunch, and that he was going to ravage me at any moment.

T **O** B **E ** C O**N** T I **N **U E **D**…


	14. Chapter 14

_**Disclaimer: **__I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. The concept of this story was taken from Sarra Manning's Diary of a Secret Crush_

_**Little Voice**_

_**Part 14**_

March 12 (Still)

James stood at the front staring at me with those piercing blue eyes. And when I say piercing, I quiet mean it literally. His stare made me feel uncomfortable, as though somebody was jabbing a million knives behind my back.

People were starting to notice the way he was staring at me. I sat there speechless and shocked, the scrapped piece of paper in front of me forgotten. The heavy beating of my heart was all I could hear as he turned around and gave a small piece of green paper to the teacher. I recognised the paper as the transfer sheet students had to have signed by all of their teachers on their first day. Dread filled up my every pore as thousands of thoughts ran through my head.

_Is he transferring?_

_But why in Volterra Prep?_

_How the hell did he make it here anyway?_

_He's got a juvenile record!!_

_I don't get it!_

My brain felt like it was going to explode, which was made worst when Mrs. Jenkins pointed at the empty seat right in front of me. He stalked towards the seat, his eyes only focused on me. I tried to look away, but his gaze seemed to have me captive…Not in a good way either.

I gulped audibly and possibly shrunk even smaller in my seat. _But this can't be right! He's suppose to have graduated now! _I thought to myself. Something inside of me broke free, and once again my old friend came back. _Duh! He had to repeat cause he missed out on a whole year of school. How dense can you get? _The little mental voice I use to hear inside my head said sarcastically.

I frowned distastefully. _Oh no! I'm hearing voices! _I thought to myself miserably. The voice inside my head laughed out loud. _First sign of madness_, I thought, _hearing voices_.

_No Bella, you're not going crazy. I think it's the stress. It can be quiet daunting. _My conscience said. I squealed nervously. Everybody spun around, staring at me weirdly.

I almost choked, but covered it up with a cough. I knew that I had turned so red. James turned around and gave me a cold smile. I looked down and stuffed the piece of paper I was holding inside my folder, the conversation inside the paper completely forgotten.

I could feel both Maya and Jill staring at me, but I didn't dare look back at them. I knew that they would take one clear look at my face and know that there was something very wrong. As Mr. Jenkins started talking about the course outline of the term, I nervously fumbled for my mobile phone inside my pencil case.

I unlocked the phone and quickly typed in a message for both of the twins and Edward in capital letters: _SOS_

**:.o.:**

The history lesson dragged on for what felt like forever. I couldn't concentrate on anything except on the boy who was sitting in front of me. The way he slumped on the chair didn't make him look ridiculous, instead it made him look cool.

I knew he wasn't listening to the teacher talk at all, half the time I had thought he was asleep. But every once in a while he would turn around to look at me patronizingly. I also noticed the permanent smirk on his face. I felt the urge to smack him around a bit, but I doubt that would have gone down too well…I can just imagine it now, I would have been minced beef by the time he was through with me!

Mr. Jenkins yapped on about partnership, and summarizing written work that I had no idea we had. I wasn't paying any attention at all. Every time James shifted, my heart would skip a beat.

And to make matters worst, the little voice in my head just wont shut up. It's like a drugged up monkey; its chattering away, but I can't understand anything its trying to say. _Maybe _I did go mad for a bit.

All the while I kept getting hit by scrunched up pieces of paper coming from my left and my right. I kept ignoring it. I even ignored it when Maya's scrunched up piece of paper hit the side of my head and bounced off on to the floor.

I kept on impatiently checking my phone for any new messages, but neither Edward nor the twins had replied to my 'save my soul' call. Mr. Jenkins started calling out the names of the pairs who would be working together on the summary sheets of the Russian Revolution unit.

I held my breath as soon as the numbers in the list started thinning out. So far my name hadn't been said, but then again James hadn't been called yet either. I silently prayed for all my sins to be forgiven by God, and mentally started making promises to do anything that would keep me from being James Malone's partner.

"Jill will be partnered with…" I watched Mr. Jenkins flip through his notes. I held my breath and counted to ten. _Please be my partner, I swear I'll be good. Please be my partner…Please be my partner…Please be my-_

"Jill will be partnered with Tom" Mr Jenkins continued. I deflated further in to my seat. The suspense was starting to make me feel jumpy.

Mr. Jenkins looked up from his notes, "Isabella Swan will be partnered-" Mr. Jenkins flipped through his notes once again. I distastefully noticed James' posture change in to an eager position.

The heavy thumping of my heart was starting to make me feel dizzy. _Breathe Bella, take it easy! _The little voice in my head said to me. But to no avail, her reassuring voice wasn't helping me at all. The room was starting to spin, and I felt like I was going to hurl.

"Isabella Swan will be partnered with…Maya Hunter" Mr. Jenkins continued in deadpanned voice. I let out a shaky breath and looked at Maya all wide eyed. I looked to James, he was looking at me with such an angry expression, which turned in to a sly smile. A smile that completely yelled out _I'm still going to get you! _

I felt tired, and not to mention shaken. When I turned to look at Maya, she was staring at me with her penetrating eyes. I knew that she wanted me to spill, I doubt I would have any other choice.

Every group split up, some going to computer labs, while some went to the library. Maya and I decided to work under the bright sky. Today had been such a bright day for such gloomy events.

We sat near the banks of the man made lake, our work untouched. "Okay, you have to spill, tell me who Mr. Cocky was! The way he looked at you was way weird. He looked like he wanted to ravage you. You know, in a murderous-totally-wrong-illegal-kind-of-way" she said matter-of-factly.

I can't believe it, she's only been back for less than 24 hours, what a perfect day for all the stupid dangerous drama to start happening all over again. "That was James Malone" I said in a disgusted voice. I was pulling on the grass, removing them from their roots. Surprisingly the voice in my head had kept quiet.

Maya looked confused, her whole face set in a weird way. "Malone…Malone…I've heard of that last name…Wait, he can't be the son of that Millionaire Tycoon who owns all of Malone's Sporting goods from all over the world…" Maya started, looking up as though trying to confirm.

I wanted so bad to lie, but I felt tired. Making up some crap on the spot would have been suicidal. So I decided to go with the truth. "Yeah, its him, and he's out to get me" I said miserably. Maya was looking at me with such a surprised expression that I sort of hid my face away.

Maya let out a whistle. She laughed incredulously. "How the hell do you get yourself in to these kinds of shit?" Maya said disbelievingly, shaking her head at me.

I let out a frustrated sound and covered my face with my hand. "I don't know! I mean, look at the people I hang around with. The twins can't shut up. Their mouth would probably land them in jail someday. Then there's Alec who's a complete moody psycho. Then there's the Cullen's, who weirdly enough, is able to pull some strings even in the most tight situation.

I don't know! I'm a magnetic target for weirdoes and trouble within a ten mile radius. Now James is back again. As if things aren't already screwed up here, what with Edward being all cute, Tanya being a psycho, then losing a stupid bet to Alec! Now I have no choice but to sing in the stupid battle of the bands!" I ranted for what seems like ages. All the while, Maya just listened. Not saying much, not judging either. She just sat there quietly, listening to me.

After I was done, I let out a breath. I mean recounting everything that happened last year, including stuff from my old private school _is _quiet a mouth full. My throat felt dry, but I felt alright after getting everything out of my chest.

Maya was looking at me with worried eyes. I could see my reflection through those dark eyes, and for the first time, I wondered how I must've looked. Maya's mind seemed to be going at the same wave length as my own as she said exactly what's been going through my mind. "You are so screwed" she simply said. There was no sugar coating in those words, just the naked truth.

My face must've scrunched up then. "Hey, don't worry, the twins are right, you got more people looking out for you now. I got your back!" Maya said supportively. I felt my heart soar a little bit at that. Her words of encouragement made me feel a little better after that.

"Hmm…I don't know about the whole singing thing though. I tried singing once, and well…The dogs seemed to enjoy it, but that's as far as it got. I mean how sad, only animals liked it. I pretty much got booed off the stage" Maya cringed, her eyes hazing over, as though she was relieving that very embarrassing moment in her mind.

I allowed myself to giggle slightly. I mean might as well smile right? It might fool James…

Maya and I spoke the rest of the lessons, that we ended up not doing any work at all. We stayed on the banks, and saw the same hormonal teens who were getting it on behind the trees the first time I ever had a proper conversation with Maya.

"Oi! Losers! The hotel is that way!" Maya said in her slight European accent. I laughed out loud and tried to forget about the unfortunate events of that day. But I should have known James wouldn't make it that easy for me. Coming around from the track and field arena, I saw Jane walking with someone who looked vaguely familiar. As they got closer, I felt my face heat up, and what was left of my good day caught fire as I saw who was walking with Jane.

From the familiar red hair, to the beautiful slender body, then the permanent smirk that were always pasted on her face…oh gosh, how much I missed that smirk…._not. _I tried to look inconspicuous, but its hard to achieve, especially when you're sitting in clear shot of everyone who passed from the arena.

The bitch from hell was back, and from the looks of things, she was trying to act like a complete angel.

Victoria walked freely alongside Jane. I tried to get up and turn the other way, but it was too late. Jane already saw me. As they got closer, another thought entered my head. _What the hell is Jane doing with a head case like Victoria?_

But I didn't have enough time to answer myself. Jane came and gave me a bright smile, swaying slightly like a little girl. Her green eyes were shining brightly as she pulled Victoria along with her. "Hey Bella! I made a new friend! This is Victoria! She's new!" Jane said enthusiastically, the twinkle in her eyes never leaving.

Victoria smiled at me and held out her hand. "Hi Bella, you can call me Tori if you want" Victoria said in a friendly voice. _Tori? _The voice in my head roared, _What the fu- _I pushed my conscience away and tried to focus.

Like a retard, I smiled and nodded quietly, "Anyway Bella, we gotta go! I'm trying to show Tori around! I'll see you at lunch time! Oh yeah! Is it true? Are you really dating my brother Alec? You know what, never mind, Tori and I are in a rush!" Jane said cheerfully. Her tittering voice carried on as she chatted in a friendly manner with Victoria.

I was too dumbfounded to say anything. _What the hell just happened? _The mental voice in my head demanded. I just shook my head. I feel like the biggest joke alive. I swear, I think life has a vendetta against me. Damn it! If somebody tells me in the end that there's a lesson to be learnt, I will seriously burn them!

I turned around to find Maya looking at me weirdly. For a while I didn't get why she was staring at me that way, you know the look that tells you, _have you gone insane? _

"You're dating Alec Volturi? Bella…What the hell is wrong with you? You are so random!" Maya said incredulously. I blushed slightly, of course it wasn't true!

"What are you on about?" I said in an irritated voice. I felt tired, my brain felt like it was working at a snails phase, everything was starting to give me a headache.

"Bella, I'm telling you. He's bad news…Wait…is he the same guy you lost the bet to?" she asked slowly, her face a mask of concentration. I really didn't get it…at all. I just nodded at her, not really planning on answering her through speech.

"Man, Bella. The guy is a dickhead! He's a complete assho-" Maya started again, but I cut her off. I mean, I know I didn't want to answer through speech originally, but too much was just too much.

"What is wrong with you guys? First Edward, then you. The Volturi kids are so nice, they've been so great. I mean Alec isn't perfect, but he's not a knob. So I really appreciate it if you stop calling my friends dickheads and assholes" I said in a fed up voice.

I know Maya just got here, and I did miss her, but enough is enough. I don't understand why people has a vendetta against the Volturi kids. Jane is so sweet, Alec is rough around the edges, but he's been great to me.

I pretty much consider them one of my good friends now.

I couldn't believe that I actually agonized over such small things. I mean I've got bigger things to worry about! James is back! Victoria is acting all chummy with Jane, and to top it all off I had a massive headache from all the mental conversation I was having with the annoying voice in my head.

I started to walk away when Maya grabbed my arm and stopped me. "Where are you going now?" she whinged in an irritated voice. I glowered darkly but answered her anyway.

"I have a massive headache, I'm going to the nurse's station, is that okay?" I said dully. I turned to go, I was in such a bad mood that I almost tripped on the bottom of the stair.

I regained my balance and turned around when I felt Maya's eyes on me. "I'm fine, really. I'll see you at lunchtime!" I said reassuringly and stalked off.

I started walking towards the nurses station with my head down, not really looking at where I was going. I didn't anyone sitting on the floor, mostly because I had my eyes focused on one spot.

I saw the foot that stood on my way a second too late. I tripped and started falling forwards. I held out my hands and tried to break my fall, the wind rushing past, momentarily making me even dizzier.

I fell on the floor with a resounding thump. All of the book I was carrying went flying across the hall way. I heard shuffling from beside me. I quickly sat up, my face was the colour of beetroot.

Whoever had tripped me was sitting on the floor. I turned around and blushed even harder to the point that I was so sure my face was going to explode from the heat. Edward sat there with surprise written all over his face, holding a guitar on one hand, and a notebook on the other.

It felt like I was in kindergarten again. I covered my face with my hands in the vain hope that he would disappear.

I heard laughter, and I removed my hands from my face and looked at Edward. He had tears in his eyes, I waited for him to shut up, and pouted when I knew he wasn't going to stop.

"It's not that funny" I said in a tiny voice, frowning at him. Edward smiled, showing me his perfect pearly whites. His smile knocked me off for six, and I suddenly started feeling jelloid all over the place.

"It was a little funny" he said, smiling at me. His laugh, which I never noticed before, was quiet contagious. my face broke in to a smile and I started laughing along too.

After we got over the laughing fit, Edward helped me pick my books on the ground. I stared at the guitar leaning against the wall. "I never knew you played" I said in a serious voice this time. Edward looked at the guitar as well.

"Oh, haven't I told you before? Yeah I play" he said casually. A tiny bit of sadness ruined my mood.

"Nope, that's pretty weird, after all those times we spent together, I thought I would know you well enough" I said in a low voice. Edward looked at me intently then looked away. An awkward silence fell upon us and we just sort of sat on the floor opposite each other; looking at anything but the person in front of us.

Edward broke the silence by coughing loudly, he turned and looked at me straight, the sides of his eyes wrinkling up on the side. "You're the only girl who knows me well enough who isn't my sister or my mother" he said sincerely. I felt a burst of light go off inside of me, and I started to feel all warm deep inside.

Not for the first time, Edward made me speechless. I suddenly felt like I couldn't say anything else after that. I turned towards the wall a little bit, hiding a smile. If he had seen that, he'd think I'm some sort of a maniac.

"Anyway…So where were you going?" Edward said good naturedly. I was sitting against the wall when he flopped down right next to me. We were sitting close enough that I could actually smell his sweet scent. I basked at the smell and relaxed a little bit.

"I was heading towards the nurse's office. I had a massive headache" I said in a light tone. Edward shuffled slightly so he was facing me. I looked at him and saw the worry in his eyes.

"Are you okay? I can take you there if you want" he said smoothly, his velvet voice was like a caress in my ears. I shook my head and mentally counted backwards.

I smiled brightly, teeth showing and all. "Nah, I'm fine, the headache magically disappeared. I think the fall knocked it out of me" I chuckled.

Edward shook his head, and looked at me, his thick lashes and pretty eyes mesmerizing me. "Shouldn't it be the other way around?" He laughed. I smiled at that. I looked at his guitar once again.

"So…what were you doing anyway?" I said delicately. Edward took the guitar and started strumming a tune.

"Oh, I was just writing some songs. I've been in a rut lately, I needed to put them in to words" he said in a low voice. I knew he tried to hide his emotions, but I could tell that it was really affecting him.

The image of his fight with Tanya in the morning came back to mind. "Yeah, you and Tanya were pretty intense this morning" I said, not looking at him. I heard him chuckle as he strummed a soft ballad on the guitar.

"Are you kidding me? That was Tanya on a good day" he said jokingly. I stared at him in disbelief. "Really?" I said incredulously. Edward chuckled once again,

"You haven't seen the whole of it. You should've been there when she threatened to attack her cat. The girl is completely insane" he said sarcastically.

He grabbed the notebook and wrote down some words on the paper. I wanted so bad to take a peek, but he was holding it at an angle that I couldn't comprehend anything.

"You know I'm glad you're taking this so _seriously" _I said sarcastically. I got distracted by another thought.

"Edward, did you get my text?" I started. He looked up in confusion.

"Did you send me one?" he asked. I just nodded. He took out his phone, a frown forming on his face.

"Um…It's not here" he said, clicking his phone shut.

I grabbed the phone from his hand and shook my head. "Okay, that's just weird" I said distractedly. Edward had put down the guitar and was watching me.

"Why? What did you send me?" he asked, mystified.

I just shook my head when I couldn't find any trace of my text message. "I sent you an S.O.S, why didn't you get it?" I said in an annoyed voice.

"You sent me an S.O.S?" he said in a serious voice this time. I was still distracted, as I flicked through various folders to see if it somehow sent itself to one of them.

"Yeah, I did" I said, not looking at him.

Edward was starting to get suspicious. "What's wrong?" he asked me in a strained voice. I put down the phone and sighed. "We have a very big problem" I said, my voice breaking slightly.

Just then we heard some footsteps descending down from upstairs. Two Italian leather clad feet stood just in front of us. "How's it going my little lamb?" James smirked. I shivered on the word 'lamb', the way he said it made it sound like he really was planning on eating me for lunch.

He stalked out of the building. Edward's breathing pattern had changed to slow uneven ones. "That's our problem" I said in a small voice.

"You have got to be kidding me" Edward said, his voice low and menacing.

….:….

The lunch time bell finally came. I sat on my usual table where I sat for two weeks without the twins or Maya and Jill. I just sat there, pushing my food around. I watched as Tanya walked inside the room. She gave me the dirtiest look before scuttling off to her cheerleading robots.

Next I saw was Alice. Tanya turned towards Alice and gave her a smile, waving her to come to their table. Alice just shook her head and mumbled "Sorry". I was surprised when I saw Alice walking towards my table.

She slammed her things right next to me, I looked at Tanya's furious face and couldn't help the smile that formed on my face. "If she thinks I'm ever going to sit with her after she called you a _little whore _this morning, she's got another thing coming! So anyway, I heard about James, and I saw Victoria go inside the bathroom. Just say the word, and I will totally jump her like I did back in Forks" she said in a rough voice. I looked at Alice in surprise. Smiling slightly at the memory of what happened during the Winter dance last year, I turned towards her so that we were both face to face.

"Bad day?" I said in a gentle voice.

"The worst" she answered me sullenly before biting on to her apple, chewing maddeningly. Just then Jasper walked inside the cafeteria, heading towards their usual table then stopped when he realized Alice wasn't sitting there.

He looked around the cafeteria and found Alice sitting right next to me. The two of them looked at each other for quiet sometime, before Alice totally ignored him. Jasper looked slightly hurt. He turned around and went out the cafeteria door where he walked past Edward. I looked away instantly and focused on Alice.

"What happened?" I asked softly, giving Alice a hug. Alice sniffed angrily and hugged me back.

"Jasper is being a loser. He decided today would be the perfect day to play _over protective boyfriend. _He punched my P.E dance partner. Poor guy, he's still in the hospital wing, bleeding his nose off" Alice said sullenly.

I swallowed, when I imagined the smell inside the hospital wing. I almost barfed when I thought about the ugly rusty metal smell of blood. I can't believe how close I was to going there before lunchtime.

Alice was looking elsewhere. "What the hell…Is he asking for it or what?" Alice said in an annoyed voice. I spun around and saw Edward talking to Tanya and pointing towards our table at the same time.

The sulfurous look on her face spoke volumes. Tanya snapped her head to turn towards me, she pouted and nodded anyway.

Edward started walking towards our table, looking utterly harassed. He sat across from me and gave me a dead look. "Don't even start" he said in a low voice, absolutely not in the mood for chatter.

Tanya…is such a…

"She's such a bitch, why can't you just dump her?" Alice said, looking at Edward squarely. Edward shot her a dark look and Alice fell silent. Edward had his notebook in one hand and a pen on the other. He was scribbling on the paper a little too roughly.

I imagined the whole world in his shoulder around that moment. I felt bad, I mean normal people would stay away from me, James is not exactly easy burden to have, knowing that Edward was kind of sacrificing his relationship to sit with me made me feel jelloid all over again. The cafeteria door swung open and the twins headed straight to our table.

"So why did you SOS us?" Sean asked, not even bothering to say hi.

"Oh, Hi Sean, I'm great too, how about you?!" I said sarcastically. Truth be told, I really didn't feel like repeating myself. But I was saved when the cafeteria doors opened once again. James and Victoria walked inside, then the whole room fell silent. James and Victoria headed straight for Jane's table where she was giving them a friendly smile.

I noticed that Alec was also sitting on the table. I don't know…But I think I saw a hurt look pass momentarily on his face. I brushed it away instantly as Alec shook everybody's hands. His hands lingered a little longer on Victoria's hand for some absurd reason. Victoria was smiling prettily at him.

I looked back towards the people in my table and made a crashing and burning sound. "He's fast…he's very fast" Sam said menacingly. Both of the twins had identical angry faces. They sat down beside Edward and stayed quiet.

The door opened once again, Jill and Maya walked in. Maya was looking at me uneasily, no doubt still thinking I was mad at her. To reassure her that all was fine, I waved her over and gave her a tired smile.

I saw her take a breath then started walking towards our table. Jill and Maya both started to sit beside me when Jill froze, her eyes elsewhere.

I turned to look at who or whatever she was looking at. Whoever it was, Jill had a very scary look about her face, something I had never ever seen before. Sam also noticed this and turned to look at whoever she was staring at.

Jill was staring straight Alec with a furious look about her face. Maya was by her side in a flash. "Jill…Sweetie…Relax" Maya said in a soothing voice. But Jill was starting to shake in anger.

"What the hell is he doing here?!" Jill said in a low angry voice that shook a little bit. What confused me was she was staring straight at Alec…as in my friend _Alec_. What the hell…

**To: Jacob Black**

**Fr:** Isabella Swan

_Jacob...where are you?! Are you okay? You haven't been on for ages! Talk to me! Things are going crazy here! Everything is getting out of hand!_

* * *

**Author's Note:**

Hey guys! I know, I know I'm sorry! I actually had this done about four days ago, but my internet has been very bitchy lately! Apologies to my BETA, something happened to my stupid email, its just not working for some reason! URGH so, i'm so sorry! I might not send you any of the chapters until I figure out the problem. MSN is so annoying! But anyway, back to my readers, I'm so sorry for the very late update! Coming close to the end of the year, things are really heating up in my side of the world! Sorry for leaving you guys with another cliffhanger. Please keep reviewing, I want at least 20 :0) I'm starting to think that I'm losing readers, which totally stinks. sniff sniff...Anyway I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter.

xoxoxo

Rose


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer** on the first few pages

**Please read and review**

**C A T F I G H T**

**Part 15**

**March 13**

Yesterday was bad…it was really bad. Just when I thought this web James created couldn't get anymore messed up, then what happened at lunch time was definitely ten times worst. It looks like I'm not the only one who's got skeletons in their closet.

Jill's reaction to Alec confused me greatly, more so when Maya started consoling her like she was a little kid. "I repeat! What the hell is he doing here?!" Jill said dramatically, swishing her hands in the air like a lunatic. Alice and I looked at each other and shrugged, by that point I didn't really care that much anymore, my head already felt like it was going to explode.

"Jill, you were still here when he transferred back in remember? All everybody could talk about was_Alec this, and Alec that, _don't tell me you forgot?" Maya said in the most soothing voice I've ever heard her speak. I fought the urge to scratch my head in case it made me look stupid.

"Yeah I remember that, but I didn't expect him to still be here by the time I got back from my holiday!" Jill pouted, not really aware of everybody staring at her. Jill turned to go, followed closely by Maya.

Later on that night I tried to weasel the information out of Maya, but she was being very tight lipped about it, which didn't really help since I was dying to know.

I will find out, sooner or later, I will.

* * *

**March 14**

Jill and Maya didn't sit next to us during lunch time. What the hell I going on?

Life in Volterra Prep feels like its been pushed on pause. James still hasn't done anything to me just yet, but he has made contact with me within the two days he's been here. He hasn't been able to do anything since I'm always with someone else.

Everything else has been put on hold. Hell Edward and I haven't even practiced our dance routine, I think I'm going to have to start walking with a limp, I really don't want to do it. I just want a little peace. I mean if James ends up killing me, I want to live the rest of my life without the tripping and the whole making-an-ass-of-myself bit.

* * *

**March 15 **

So lets just say that I found out what the hell is up with Jill.

Three days out and she still hadn't told me. I know, its definitely none of my business, but I have subtler ways of finding out what I want. I went up to that music room again, I knew Alec was going to be there. And sure enough, there he was, strumming his guitar.

I stood there for a while, just watching him play. He looked so deep in thought that it almost made me feel guilty to interrupt.

I coughed loudly to let him know I was there. He quickly spun around and smiled when he saw me there. "Why hello, long time no speak my friend" he said happily. I walked towards him and sat right next to him.

"Yeah, I've been willing to talk to you about something" its always good to go straight to the point. Alec lifted up his eyebrows, but nodded anyway.

"What's wrong?" he asked casually, going back to strumming.

"Well…I noticed how Jill seems to really hate you…and I wanted to know…" I trailed off, I didn't know how to word it properly, because no matter how I looked at it, it still sounded like I was prying. I pouted. Figures. Might as well let him figure out what I meant.

He stopped playing and looked at me for a second. "Jill and I use to date" he said bluntly. The way he said it made it sound like it didn't really matter. I just stared at him in shock.

"WHAT?" I said in surprise. Alec laughed at my reaction and continued playing.

"Yeah we dated, it ended really badly. She got too over possessive, she was smothering me so much" he said a little too casually.

I raised my eyebrow. I felt that there was more to the story, I wanted to pry some more, but he spoke with such finality that I figured the conversation was over.

I stared at the back wall, feeling utterly disappointed when Alec nudged me. I looked at him and turned my frown on him. "Aw shucks Belle, don't look at me like that. Lets change the topic shall we? Have you figured out a song for battle of the bands yet?" he asked me. I looked away because we all know I haven't figured out a bloody song.

"No" I said sullenly. Alec just laughed, "Well, you better figure it out Bella" he said teasingly. I growled at him, but he kept on laughing. I got up and walked out.

I couldn't help but think that maybe he did do something really bad. Otherwise Jill wouldn't have acted so strongly about him leaving. For once I was starting to see a different side to Alec's exterior.

I was walking down the corridor, I noticed it was awfully quiet. I felt chills that went up and down my body. I felt like I was being followed, and sure enough I started hearing footsteps behind me.

I turned around and almost had a heart attack when I saw James walking behind me. He walked faster until he was levelled with me. I stopped walking and looked at him, expecting him to punch my face.

I flinched when I saw him bare his teeth. He was so creepy! "Hi Bella" he said pleasantly. I wanted to hurl, despite his appearance, James always had a very pleasant voice, similar to a sales man actually…a very creepy sales man at that.

"Look, I'm pretty sure you're tired of being chased, to tell you the truth I'm starting to get tired too. I've got bigger fish to fry. Mind you I'm also very honourable, I finally accept that you didn't rat on me" he said in a friendly voice.

I don't know what kind of game he was playing, but I know that he was about to close in on me. "However, there is still the matter of your boyfriend locking me up in reform school, so do me a favour and tell him to show up at the closed point after school Friday so we can end this once and for all. If he decides to ditch, then tell him I will kill him…" he smiled brightly, "And you too, but you're more like a consolation prize!"

I backed away from him in repulsion. He was absolutely disgusting. I ran away from him and pretty much rampaged through the whole school looking for Edward or even the twins.

I found Edward in the library, he was startled when he saw me. He got up and walked towards me, I was heaving so much from all the running. I had to wait a moment for my breath to come back to normal.

"What's wrong?" Edward asked worriedly, shaking my shoulders slightly. The library was pretty crowded, some people were staring at us, so I lowered my voice.

"It's James-" I started, but stopped abruptly when I saw Tanya coming towards us. She grabbed Edward and wrapped her arms around his waist. "Hey baby" she said sweetly, kissing his cheek, then she gave me a hostile look. "Bella" she acknowledged me coldly.

Edward looked slightly put off by her behaviour that he tried to pry her arms away from his waist.

I impatiently looked at Tanya, "Look I need to talk to Edward in private. Do you mind?" I said frostily. Tanya removed her arms and folded them instead, attempting to intimidate me. "Uh, whatever you want to say to him, you can say it in front of me" Tanya said angrily.

I really didn't have anytime for her bullshit, so I just went all out and blurted it out. "James said that if we want everything to end, then you have to meet up with him on closed point, you know the cliff near the ranges? He also said that if you don't come then he'll kill you…and me, as a consolation prize" I said in a panicked voice. I was slightly losing my head as I started to shake violently.

The movement distracted me, I mean why the hell would I be shaking? The first signs of tears surprised me even more. I felt them under my lashes. Edward came even closer and tried to calm me down. It felt like the whole world was crashing in on me, and there was nothing else I could do about it. I didn't want him to go, but I sort of took James' threat pretty seriously.

Edward started walking towards me but stopped when Tanya held out her hand. "Hell no! He's not going, you can forget about it" she said coldly. I looked to Edward for support. He was looking at Tanya in surprise.

"You can't decide things for me!" He said angrily. Tanya's face flared up and she pressed herself against Edward. "Oh yes I can, I'm your girlfriend, and I'm saying no!" She yelled out loud. At that point people in the library were looking around at the three of us. I meekly moved back, it looked like they were going to bash each other up any moment.

"I'm going! I don't give a shit about what you think Tanya!" Edward yelled back. Tanya moved back and laughed insanely. "You go and I swear to God this relationship is OVER!" she screamed out loud. The library lady came in and tried to break them up, but none of them were listening.

"Is that a promise?" Edward said menacingly, Tanya was taken a back, she was speechless. I just stared at Edward as though he grew another head.

"You can't mean that" Tanya said, her eyes brimming with tears, she looked around at their audience. "You can't seriously be dumping in front of everyone!" she screamed out loud.

Edward looked at her coldly. "I've never been so serious in my life" he said venomously.

It felt like time just suddenly stopped, and Edward's words were hanging on the air like a big gigantic smoke. Tanya started shaking, then the next second she started laughing, her eyes developing a scary glint.

She turned around and stopped laughing when she looked at me. She let out a scream and pounced on me. I held up my hand to cover my face. She drew a line on my arm and I yelled out in pain. Her nails dug on to my arms, and it started to sting.

I tried to hoist myself up, and with all the strength I got I pushed her off of me. She grabbed my hair and tried to remove a chunk, but I was able to push her off of me. I quickly got on my feet and started running out of the library.

I shoved Mrs. Henderson the librarian out of the way and tried to sprint. But with my lack of coordination, I tripped over and slammed right on to the door. Tanya stacked up right behind me, I held my ground and tried to jump her as well.

People were getting up from their tables and were screaming "FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!"

One jock actually screamed out "Take your top off!" when I was on top of Tanya. I pulled away and ran back towards Edward.

He got between us and held Tanya back, while Mrs. Henderson came and checked if I was okay. I looked at my arms and found red marks up and down my arms. It wasn't bleeding, but I knew they were going to leave a scar.

Edward let go of Tanya and dumped her on the seat where she sat still, breathing really heavily. Mrs. Henderson looked at Edward then at Tanya. "Leave her to me, but I think Swan here needs to go to the nurse's station. Go now!" she barked. Edward took my hand, and led me out in to the corridor.

I think I was going in to shock because I didn't respond when Edward asked me something. I looked down on my arm, the pain finally kicked in. "Ow" I said weakly. Edward inspected my scratches and swore under his breath. He muttered _psycho _under his breath.

We waited outside the nurse's station until Mrs. Peters came out and let us in. She gave me a cotton that had dettol on it and made me rub the fresh wounds.

"I'll be back kid, I've got another kid in the other room" she said hurriedly.

She went through a door, leaving me and Edward all by ourselves.

"So, what the hell just happened?" I asked, my brain felt like it was going in low motion, I still couldn't believe what just happened.

"It's over now, God I can't believe she did this to you" he said softly. He took the cotton and started rubbing it on to the wound gently. We were quiet for a while until I poke again.

"So, what's going to happen now? We all have to come up with a plan about Friday" I pointed out the obvious.

"I know, but what though? What does he even want to happen?"

"Fight you probably" I answered in a low voice. "There's gotta be another way" I said softly.

"If this is the only way its going to stop, I'm going to have to fight him" Edward said. His face twisted, "There's just no way of avoiding collision with him. He's not going to go away without a fight" he looked at me, I knew he saw the look of worry in my eyes.

He wrapped an arm around me. "Don't worry Bella, everything will be fine" he said gently. I wish I could believe him.

Edward is pretty fit, but James is much bigger and much meaner. I can't imagine it…I _don't _want to imagine it.

* * *

**March 15 (Later on)**

I just received a text message from the twins. Seems like Edward already told them about James' conditions. Friday is still happening.

I wonder where Jacob is now? He still hasn't replied to any of my emails, and he hasn't been answering my calls. I'm starting to worry.

* * *

**March 16**

So it is official. Edward and Tanya are over. It's all over the school, everybody heard about the cat fight in the library. Even Principal Masters heard about it, lets just say she wasn't particularly happy about it.

I've noticed this before, but I never mentioned it, Principal Masters is quiet eccentric. She's really nice and all, but something about her behaviour always stroked me as odd. She always seemed so easy on me. I mean this is my second violation. Normally, this would have led to expulsion.

I entered the principals office to find Edward already there. Principal Masters was standing in front of the window, with her back to us. Edward looked at me and smiled. I gave him a smile back. I coughed to let her know I was there.

Principal Masters turned around and looked at me coldly. "First vandalism, now catfights? Explain yourself girl!" she said hastily, flopping down on her shrivelling chair. I went through a hurried explain of the catfight, pretty much saying it was self defence.

Principal Masters intimidated me. She was quiet a beautiful woman, and the way she looked at you made you feel like you were being exposed.

She nodded every now and then to let me know she was still listening even though she was looking out the window. "So there was no way of going at it the way normal young ladies should have done?" she asked with her eyebrows lifted.

"Well Ms…How could I? She jumped on me, I was struggling to get out, but she kept pulling me back" I said meekly.

"Ahhuh, and you never once, EVER hit her back?"

She got me there. We all know I punched Tanya back.

"I might have…Just a little bit" I said in a tiny voice. I saw tell-tale signs of a smile forming in her lips as I said this.

"We don't usually tolerate fighting Miss Swan, but I'm willing to let it slip this time…By letting it slip, I wont expel you. However you will have to join Edward with his community service of repainting the western walls of the castle" she said in a loud voice. "Anyway, look I gotta go kids, I'm sure you know the way out" Just like the first time, she got up and started heading for the door.

By that point I was kind of feeling a mixture of relief. I couldn't believe I dodged the bullet again.

"Love you Lucy" Edward said, waving to the principal. Principal Masters stopped abruptly, "Don't call me that!" she said shrewdly. She turned back towards the door. "I swear if you weren't my baby sisters son, I would totally kick your ass" she mumbled loudly enough so I could hear her. She slammed the door, and Edward was chuckling to himself.

"What the hell? The principal is your aunt?!" I said, flabbergasted.

Edward looked at me and smiled. "What? You didn't honestly think you had nine lives did you?" he laughed out loud.

"Unbelievable" I muttered under my breath.

He was looking at me really intently that I felt like he wanted to say something important.

"Bella…" he started, my heart started beating really fast.

"Yeah?" I said expectedly but he just hook his head.

"Nothing, forget it. Lets go back to class before we add tardies on top of everything else. I don't think Lucy will be too pleased" he chuckled jokingly.

I smiled and laughed along with him. As we walked out, I turned to look at him. "Um what do you have first?" I asked nonchalantly.

"Gym with you" he said simply. I groaned.

**March 16 (Midnight)**

Note to self: Must twist ankle before dance recital. (That shouldn't be too hard)

* * *

**A/n: **Aw shucks, some of you guys are no reviewers. I know a lot of people view the story, but some of you don't leave anything. Come on! Anyway I swear if I don't get a lot of reviews, I will hold this story up and go on strike. I'm sorry, feedbacks is the only way I can figure out if people still likes this story. I know some of you love this, those people are very loyal and always leaves something, and I love you guys for it.

And oh yeah, I've got a new story up called 'it started with a kiss' go check it out too please. If you like sweet stories, then you'll like 'it started with a kiss'


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer on the first page**

Hey guys! Thank you so much for the suggestions!

They really helped! I got some funny suggestions, and some

weird. But thanks anyway, you guys totally rock! You know what else I liked?

The fact that the last chapter for 27 reviews! You guys rock!

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE KEEP IT UP! I wanna reach 400 reviews,

but I don't think that'll ever happen :( Sniff sniff

So anyway, here goes. Kudos to those who sent me suggestions!

Y'all know who you are! You girls rocks!

So here's the chapter, I made it extra long for you guys!

The song is called: Where the stars go blue, duet version by :

Bethany Joy Lenz & Tyler Hilton

And the other one is one of my own songs, i wrote it on the spot,

so don't ask me the title. If you have any ideas, go ahead and tell me.

I'm also a song writer :D just not very good!

* * *

**Mud and Surprises!**

**Part 16**

**March 17**

I got woken up by the doorbell this morning. I don't know who could be insane enough to ring the doorbell at six AM in a Thursday morning. I stumbled out of bed and groggily headed downstairs. I was hurting all over, I feel like I'm walking on nails. I was so tired.

Edward made me work so hard yesterday. Unbelievably enough, it seems like I'm improving. Some people are curious about our dance routine, I didn't dare tell them that it was a rip off of the dance routine Baby and Johnny did in the final dance in 'Dirty Dancing'

I trudged down the stairs slowly, taking it one step at a time. I wiped away the sleep dust from the corner of my eyes and swore when I saw the time. I was prepared to give whoever was outside a piece of my mind but I froze.

Standing, actually let me rephrase that, towering over the door way stood Jacob Black grinning from ear to ear. I let out a squeal and jumped on top of him. I heard Charlie from upstairs rushing down to see if there was a murderer holding his virgin daughter for ransom but stopped as well when he saw Jacob on the door way.

"Jacob?" Charlie said dizzily. Jacob gave him a bright smile and shook his hand.

"How are you Charlie?" he said in his deep voice. If it was even possible, I think Jacob grew even taller. I felt like a shrimp standing right next to him.

I felt the familiar warmth that spread all over me settle in, it was definitely a great surprise. But I looked at him in confusion though.

"Jake, what the hell are you doing here?" I asked in a surprised tone.

Jacob scratched his head nervously and looked at Charlie.

"Well, Charlie told Billy about James being here, and I knew that things were going to get messy, so I didn't bother telling you that I was coming" he said apologetically, "I knew you wouldn't let me…I'm sorry" he said, pleading.

I frowned at that. He came here to baby sit? Here I thought having five people was enough, they just had to add a giant on top of that. I turned towards Charlie and turned my dark look on him. Charlie looked at Jacob for support, and tried to adjust his collar uncomfortably.

"Dad! Why did you tell Billy?" I groaned. Charlie just stood there and shrugged,

"I was only looking out for you! And you know that I tell Billy everything!" he said defensively. I just sighed and pulled Jacob inside the house.

"Come on in, before the neighbours call the police, they'll only bother Charlie" I said, trying to joke. But it looks like he's been drained out of humour. I sighed again and walked straight to the kitchen and started making myself coffee.

Charlie and Jacob followed me inside and just watched me. I looked up irritatingly, "Do you guys want some?" I asked impatiently. Charlie and Jacob exchanged looks and nodded cautiously.

"Will you two relax? I'm not going to wring your necks or anything. It's too early in the morning. Sit down" I said, pointing at the chairs. Then an awkward silence hovered over our heads. Charlie coughed in discomfort and excused himself.

As soon as he was out of sight I started filling Jacob in on the change of plan.

"James confronted me yesterday" I started, passing him his cup of coffee. He raised his eyebrows and nodded for me to continue. "Well looks like he's lost his vendetta against me, now he's turned on Edward"

Jacob looked surprised at that then he smiled. "Good! It serves him right!" Jake exclaimed happily. I just looked at him disgustingly, and he frowned at me. "Wait…Don't tell me you took that leech back!" he said angrily. I rolled my eyes at him.

"No, were just friends, and I'd really appreciate it if you stopped calling him that" I mumbled but he ignored me. "So what's going to happen now?" he said bluntly.

I looked around to make sure that Charlie was definitely gone. "There's going to be a fight at close point cliff in three days" I whispered. Jacob looked taken aback.

"What? Why so soon?" Jake whispered back.

"Because James is insane. And he threatened that if we don't show up, he'll kill Edward…and me" I said uneasily. Jacob's face turned to fury and he started to get up. "Wait! Where are you going?" I panicked in a hushed tone.

"He threatened to kill you, now I'm going to go and kill him" he said it so simply as though he was talking about letters of the alphabet. I quickly jumped on my feet and pushed him back on to the chair.

"Hell no, will you cool off superman? I'm taking you to school with me, and we'll talk to the twins on the way. Understood?!" I said firmly. Jacob frowned but agreed anyway.

"I'm just going to run upstairs and shower, if I come back and your not on the same place I left you, I will not talk to you for three months!" I said sharply. Jake looked resigned as he sat still, unmoving.

I smiled with satisfaction and ran up to my room and got changed. I was probably a little harsh, but he knows I love him.

I know it was a little bit early but I thought I might as well show Jacob around…I wondered what the teachers would do if they saw Jacob in one of the classes. I crossed my fingers and hoped they never noticed.

I ran downstairs after changing in to a pair of black stockings, black miniskirt, brown ugg boots, and my fluffy white jacket. When I came in to view, Jacob was staring at me like I was his supply of water, just drinking me up.

"Close your mouth Jake, its rude to stare" my eyebrow puckered at his obvious attention. Jake closed his mouth and grinned sheepishly.

"You look different, your fashion sense has changed a lot Bells" he said, noticing. I just shook my head at him.

"I only wear these because my old clothes are soggy and smells like mouldy crap" I said darkly. He laughed out loud when he saw the look on my face.

"Urgh, Lets just go. I'll show you around my snob school" I said in a mocking bright voice.

"Yay" Jake said, void of any enthusiasm whatsoever.

We walked up the front door and I locked it behind me. I led him towards my red Porsche and his eyes pretty much popped out of their sockets. "Whoa!" He said in admiration.

"Yeah, don't ask me what model it is. The town gave it to me" I said nonchalantly. He just whooped and had a mini orgasm looking at the car.

"That's it, I'm getting dad to join the police force if it means I get an awesome car too!" he said happily. I just rolled my eyes.

"He can't, he's crippled" I said bluntly. It's true, Jacob's father got injured in an accident which left his legs paralysed. It's the main reason why they sold the old red truck to Charlie last year.

"So, my dad can run faster than you using his elbows!" he said cockily. That was probably true, seeing as I was a walking disaster.

I noticed that he was eyeing the steering wheel with envious eyes. "Jake if you want to drive…" I started, but he just cut me off, "No, I mean you don't have to let-" he said, but I spoke over the top of him until the two of us were talking at the same time.

"Jut drive the friggin car Jacob" I said firmly. He grinned widely and got inside the drivers side. "Well…since you insisted, I guess it couldn't hurt" he said modestly.

I just rolled my eyes, "Boys…" I muttered to myself. I buckled myself up and held my breath when he stepped on the gas pedal and shot out of the driveway.

"OHHHHMYYYYYYGOOOODDDDD! JACCCOOOOOBBBB!!" I screamed loudly, but he wasn't listening. He was laughing loudly, the wind sweeping his hair back. All of the anger flushed out when I looked at his childlike face, nothing at all like the usual Jacob.

What is up with boys and fast cars? I guess it will always be something I could never understand.

We sped down the high way until we reached a familiar point where I told Jacob to turn left. We reached the roundabout that lead up to a hill where there were very few houses. The clear area had turned in to a forest, with only the pathway leading the way. As soon as the wide expanse of trees stopped, we hit the clearing where the castle was located. Jacob made a throaty sound when he saw the school.

"What is this? Hogwarts?!" he said ludicrously. I just laughed at him, after all I said the exact same thing when I first caught a glimpse of the castle.

I told him to park right outside the square and I jumped out of the car. The car park wasn't completely empty. I spied Edward's silver Volvo its usual spot and wondered what the hell he could be doing at school so early in the morning.

We went inside and I let out a nervous breath when I noticed Candy wasn't in her usual spot. We went straight to my locker, stuffed everything inside and I started showing him around the castle.

We were out on the yard when the first sign of students started arriving. We walked along the man made lake when I remembered something. "What's been going on at home? Where's Sam and Emily now?" I asked worriedly. The last time I heard, the two of them had eloped and left Leah miserable.

Jacob flinched and stopped walking. We sat on the banks and I waited for him to talk.

"Well I found out that Emily's pregnant…That's why the two of them eloped" he said disgustedly. "Sam was sleeping with Emily before he broke up with Leah. The whole group has pretty much fallen apart because of the mess. Leah's turned really bitter. She's cut off her hair, and wont leave her room. It's depressing. I use to go ver their place a lot to chill with Seth, but I never anymore. Leah's aura feels really suffocating" he explained.

I tried to imagine what Leah could be feeling, but I couldn't. Part of me never ever wanted to feel that, while part of me felt bitterly towards Sam. Leah and I were never close, but for that to happen to someone I know was just heartbreaking.

I didn't even realize it, but tears were trickling down my cheeks, Jacob noticed it though. He gathered me in his arms and hugged me tightly. "That's really unfair though. Leah didn't deserve that…" I sobbed. I don't know why I was crying, but I think everything is finally catching up with me.

I just cried and cried until I didn't have anymore tears left. I sniffed once more and got up. I led Jake back towards the lockers, I really needed to distract myself before I made even more of a fool of myself.

Jacob was trailing behind me quietly when he stopped. "Hey, you never told me you guys had battle of the bands here" he said, genuinely interested. I stopped walking and looked back at him.

"Yeah we do, I lost a bet, I have to perform in it" I said distastefully, not delving in to anymore details.

Jacob looked at the piece of paper again, at me, then back at the piece of paper again. "Umm…It says its been moved up this Friday, and if you want to enquire, you have to see Alec Volturi at the old music room" he said casually, turning back to me.

I must've stood there frozen for about five minutes before Jacob started shaking me violently. "What?!" I said finally. I moved towards the piece of paper and swore under my breath.

"Oh my god! I will kill Alec!" I said loudly making some people turn towards me. Jacob looked around sheepishly and tried to stay inconspicuous but it's a bit hard. He's not exactly that hard to miss.

I let out a frustrated sound and dragged him to where Alec was, no doubt in the music room. I swung the door loudly and came in without bothering to knock. What I saw made my mouth drop in shock. I gasped. Alec and Jill were locked in a passionate embrace. When they noticed me standing Jill pushed Alec away and almost punched his face, but Alec ducked down.

Jill whimpered and ran out of the room, her cheeks flaming red. I looked to Alec, who was also flushed, he sat in front of the window, breathing heavily.

"Umm…Jake?" I said in a small voice, turning towards him.

"oh come on, I don't even know the girl-" he started, but I cut him off, indicating I wanted to be alone with Alec.

He sighed and walked out, and probably ran after Jill. I slowly walked towards Alec and sat next to him. "You okay?" I asked, nudging him. At first I thought he was going to ignore me, but he looked at me after a while.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm just brilliant. So brilliant in fact that I've got sunshine coming out of my ass" he said sarcastically. Its good to know he's still got a sense of humour, but its definitely not the time.

"What was that all about?" I asked bluntly. He looked at me uneasily before looking out the window.

"That was me kissing the crap out of Jill" he said in a low voice.

"Yeah I could see that, but why? I thought you guys were broken up" I said looking at my own hands.

He was quiet for a while then he spoke. "Yeah, the deal is I missed her, and it sucks to know that I've blown every chance I've got with her." he said in a light tone. He wouldn't show it to me, but I knew that he was hurting.

"What do you mean you blew it?" I asked curiously.

"Oh, umm Jill and I were together for about two years" he said flatly. I looked at him as though he had grown another head.

"Two years?!" I said in amazement. He looked at me with one raised eyebrow.

"You say that like you doubt my ability to keep a relationship or even be faithful to one person" he said darkly. I flinched slightly and felt guilty.

"Sorry…So what happened?" I asked slowly, not wanting to push him away.

Alec shrugged and started picking on his fingernails. "Well…I guess she caught me going horizontal with someone" he said, slightly despaired. I sort of cringed away from him, and he looked at me pleadingly.

"It's not like what you think at all. The girl was blackmailing me…Besides its too late now anyway. I doubt Jill will ever trust me again. And with what I'm about to do, it serves me right" he said miserably.

Something about what he said stroked me as odd._And with what I'm about to do, it serves me right, _he had said. What could be that something? I sort of pushed the thought away and focused more on the future.

"So, you're just going to let her go huh?" I asked sympathetically, patting his back. He just shrugged, "Yeah, I guess so. There's no point in waiting around" he said. I think his voice shook a bit.

We sat there in silence after a while. I've never seen Alec like this before. He's always so cocky, and always joking that every time I do see his serious side, it kind of freaks me out.

Alec shifted and released a long sigh then looked at me. "Why did come here anyway? Did you want to talk about something?" he said, looking at me normally for the first time.

I almost forgot my true purpose. I showed him the ripped off piece of paper that had all of the battle of the bands details. "What?" he said innocently. I glared at him and pointed at the date.

"You're kidding right?" I said menacingly. He just continued looking at me innocently.

"Aw shuck Bells, its not always about you, you know?" he said matter-of-factly. I gave him a death stare, but he wasn't faltered at all.

"Relax, I moved it up because some of the people have some practice pop quizzes during the original week" he said, not looking sorry at all. I looked at him distastefully.

"I'm not ready! I haven't even picked a song yet!" I protested. The pig just grinned and shrugged.

"Well, you better get moving then. You're welcome to use the piano in this room anytime you want" he said, getting up to leave. I just stared after him in disgust. He so did that on purpose!

He shut the door so I was left on my own. I slowly got up and tried to think up of at least five songs I could still remember. I ended up playing a completely different tune though. It was pretty basic, but it had a very sweet sound to it…sweet and melancholy at the same time.

I closed my eyes and tried to think up of words that would go along with it.

_I will always remember_

_The way you looked that night_

_Beneath the pale moonlight_

_Looking up in to the sky_

_You closed your eyes and made a wish_

_Keeping the secret inside your heart_

Then the sweetness of the melody started to go and a certain melancholy came through.

_But suddenly, _

_My world fell from the sky_

_You walked away_

_But I'm still holding on…_

I crashed my fingers against the key and swore. Who was I kidding? The competition is in three days, there was no way I could ever pull off a brand new song. I stopped playing and buried my head on to my hands.

I felt like I was being watched.

The back of my neck prickled and I slowly turned. It was Edward. I gave him a smile, extracting my fingers from the keys. "Hey, what are you doing here?" I asked brightly. He was staring at me blankly. "What?" I asked nervously.

"I never knew you played…you're very good" he said sincerely. I blushed furiously and coughed awkwardly.

"That song…was that yours?" he asked slowly. I looked away modestly then back at him again and nodded.

"Yeah…well, I'm screwed. Did I tell you? I lost a bet to Alec, now I have to perform at battle of the bands…I can't do this. I mean its bad enough that I have to humiliate myself during our routine. Now I have to do this too!" I said miserably. He was walking towards me. He sat down next to me and started playing the piano.

I looked at him, puzzled. He was playing a tune that I distinctly remembered. "Where the stars go blue?" I asked curiously. Edward nodded, but kept playing. I took a deep breath and decided to sing along with him.

_Dancin' where the stars go blue _

_Dancin' where the evening fell _

_Dancin' in my wooden shoes _

_In a wedding gown _

My voice was low, and way under developed. My whole body experienced a spasm when Edward started singing the second bit. His voice melodious, sweet, rough, and deep at the same time.

_Dancin' out on 7th street Dancin' through the underground Dancin' little marionette Are you happy now? _

I took a deep breath and sang the harmony, our voices mixing well.

_Where do you go when you're lonely?_

_Where do you go when you're blue?_

_Where do you go when you're lonely _

_I'll follow you_

_Where the stars go blue_

The song ended with a bit of a bittersweet taste to it. He was looking at me, his eyes searching my face. I felt the little rush of adrenaline I usually get whenever I'm about to fall. But this time, I didn't mind, for I knew if I did fall, Edward would be right there to catch me.

He and Tanya were officially over, yet he hasn't said anything to me. I'm not even sure if I want him to. I was scared…So scared that he might break me again, I don't think I can go through the heartache again.

I leaned against him and closed my eyes, loving the warmth he provided. He ran his fingers through my hair and kissed my cheeks gently. "Do you want me to sing with you? I'll be there supporting you all the way. That was beautiful" he whispered softly.

For once I forgot all about the bad things and just looked deeply in to his green eyes.

I love him so much.

Looking at his face made me realize exactly how much he meant to me. But that's the thing though…Losing him would hurt twice as much.

"I'd love to sing with you" I simply said. Edward cradled my head against his chest and I sighed. It felt wrong, but so right in so many ways.

Edward smiled and just hugged me tightly. "Oh yeah…another thing…" he started, his breathing starting to speed up again…_Am I making him nervous? _I thought to myself.

He shifted me so that we were face to face. "I've been thinking about…us" he started slowly, taking his time. I froze, and my heart skipped a beat.

He took my hand and held it up, kissing my finger tips one by one. "I know I hurt you really bad the last time, made you cry, and pretty much pulled you under. My god, you must've hated me so much. I am so grateful that you were willing, after the countless of times I screwed it up, I was grateful that you were willing to get me back in your life. I love being friends with you…But Bella…I want more. I want what we had before. I know its impossible…and I guess I can stand being friends…But I think I'll always have these feelings for you" he said seriously, his eyes delving in to mine.

I shivered slightly and gulped. "Rebound romances never work, you know that right?" I said slowly, secretly condemning myself for opening my big gob.

"I dated Tanya to try and get my mind off of you. It was mere torture, but after so many months, I still couldn't get over you. You dry me crazy you know that?" he said matter-of-factly, brushing the hair away from my face.

I didn't have an answer for him then, and he knew it. Trying hard to push down the look of disappointment he just shrugged and laughed it off.

"It's okay, you don't have to answer me now. You waited for four months for me, I don't think I can ever top that, but I'll wait" he said tenderly, wrapping his arms around me again.

I know that one day we'll be back together again, its just I think saying yes now would be too fast. There's nothing wrong with having time to think.

Edward took me in his arms again and this time I hugged him back. I heard the door open and I hesitantly pulled away from Edward and looked at whoever was standing by the door. I froze when I saw Jacob standing there with an angry look in his eyes. He spun around and walked out of the room. With my heart hammering, I looked back at Edward and he just nodded. I ran after Jacob at breakneck speed.

It was a miracle when I got outside of the yard without breaking a limb. Jacob was running way too fast, which was understandable since he was in the track team. "Jacob!" I yelled out, huffing loudly. He went around a bend and past some trees, we were back in the pathway that led towards the man made lake again.

It was getting ridiculous. "Jacob! Come back here!" I screamed, catching the attention of some of the early birds. But he never looked back.

Near the slope, I must've lost my footing because I stumbled and started rolling down the hill, heading straight for the water. I let out a piercing scream, then I splashed right in to the water.

The lake was deeper than I expected. I couldn't touch foot, and I was panicking way too much that my brain sort of froze out and I started flapping about. I screamed loudly, letting some of the murky water inside my mouth. I spat some of the dirt out, and came close to spewing up on the water. I heard another splash beside me, then somebody was pulling me out of the dirty water.

I looked at my saviour and found that it was Jacob. He hoisted me up on the bank and somebody pulled me up from the other side. I flopped on the banks and took deep uneven breaths.

Jake sat right next to me and was checking if I was alright. "Bella!!" he screamed in my ear. I flinched and inched away from him.

"I almost drowned Jacob, I don't want to have to start wearing a hearing aid too" I said sarcastically.

I was still partly annoyed by him. I can't believe he kept running even though I had wanted him to stop. "You can be such a jerk you know? You didn't even let me explain! You just went off like the roadrunner!" I snapped, coughing heavily when I finished talking.

He tapped my back and tried to get me up, but I couldn't. I felt slightly dizzy. I've got a feeling I swallowed a bug or something. I had a very nasty taste in my mouth.

"Well, what's to explain?!" he said angrily, going back to his shell. "I saw you hugging that leech. I mean come on Bella! He hurt you really badly last time-" he started saying, but I completely cut him off.

"You're jumping the gun again!" I said angrily.

"Edward did say he wanted me back. But I didn't tell him anything! So will you relax?!" I screamed at him. "You can be such a butt plug sometimes!" I said childishly. I could tell that his resolve was melting away.

"A butt plug?" he asked sheepishly. I just gave him a dirty look and started getting up. He helped me get up on my feet. "Look I'm sorry…Maybe I shouldn't have jumped at you like that. But you have to understand that I'm only looking out for you. Cullen is an idiot" he said harshly. I gave him a dirty look and sighed.

"I can't listen to this. You obviously can't give any clear opinion since you hate him so much. Whatever you say about him will always be biased" I said darkly. Jacob looked slightly guilty as we walked inside the building.

We were dripping mud all over the expensive carpet when Alice ran up towards us. "Urgh! Oh my gosh! It's Bella! Where did you get that dog from?" Alice said jokingly, pointing at Jacob. Jake just grinned at her and tried to give her a hug.

He might hate Edward, but he got along just fine with Alice. "So what happened to you? No offence, but you smell like poo!" she said distastefully.

I just glared at her and demanded for extra pair of clothing I knew she kept in her locker. She gave me a new jacket and a t-shirt. Poor Jacob had to try and fit in to one of Alice's gym clothes. He ripped the whole thing off by accident.

Alice disappeared for five minutes after that and came back with a pair of pants and a t-shirt. I raised my eyebrows when I noticed her sniffing the top. "It's Jasper's" she said dreamily, "You better not ruin it, or I'll kick your ass. Or Jasper will…he doesn't know you have it. So please look after them like they're your own babies. Okay?" Alice said tearfully.

I almost laughed at her, until I realized she was being serious.

**March 17 (Later)**

Oh my gosh, I just realized something…Battle of the Bands is on Friday…And so is the fight with James….What the hell is going to happen?

Holy shit!


	17. Chapter 17

**AU: ouch, i know, you guys hate me for the late update, but here it is. Don't worry exams are over! Yay! **

**This story only has a couple more chapters left. I guess its been a good run, eh? Hope you enjoy this! Please review!!!!**

**Bad Day**

**Part 17**

**March 18**

I hardly got any sleep last night, and this morning I was reminded that the meeting between James and Edward were tied together with the battle of the bands competition. I don't know how I keep on going with all of this stress; anyone normal would have had serious psychological problems.

I ran down the stairs and straight to the kitchen only to be greeted by Jacob's frowning face. I sucked in a breath and sat beside him, a shadow of an argument looming over our heads.

"What's the matter now?" I asked in a deadpanned voice. Jacob cleared his throat and grabbed the news paper, hiding his face away.

"What makes you think that there's a problem?" he said darkly, switching to a different page roughly.

I sighed and shrugged my shoulders, intent on ignoring him for the rest of the morning. I wasn't quiet ready to forgive him just yet. Because of him, I spent most of yesterday trying to pluck out water beetles out of my hair.

Ain't nothing better than to take a dip in a muddy lake, it definitely put the icing on such a fantastical day.

I grabbed the glass on my left hand side and poured orange juice in it, keeping my mouth shut incase rude comments came flying out unintentionally.

I knew he couldn't take being quiet for just one second. He folded the newspaper and stared at me under his thick dark eyebrows, his lips set in a grim line.

"I thought about what you told me yesterday, Bella" he started slowly, fidgeting with the ends of corner ends of the news paper.

"The thing is…" he said, pausing to take a breath. I knew this couldn't be good, in a way I knew what was coming. Jacob's eyes grew darker with determination, and his fidgety hands suddenly went still.

"I don't want you going to the 'meeting' on Friday, I think you should stay here, we can hang out" he said casually, but I knew that there was a hidden determination behind that request.

"No way" I said dismissively, taking a big gulp out of my glass of orange juice. My voice clearly rang with finality, too bad Jacob didn't notice. His fist scrunched up the ends of the paper, accidentally shredding it to pieces. I narrowed my eyes at him, as if daring him to defy me.

"You're coming straight home Bella. Can't you see? You'll be in constant danger!" he said indignantly as though he was talking to a five year old child.

"I know that you attract trouble within a five mile radius. Knowing your luck you'll probably fall off the Cliffside" Jacob said insultingly.

I stared at him in disbelief. I got on my feet, frowning. "Well aren't you just a little ray of sunshine?" I said unsmiling, my stubbornness kicking in.

I turned to go but Jacob stopped me, gripping my arm tightly. I turned around to the face of a man, instead of the sixteen year old I use to know. All of the stress back home must have aged Jacob prematurely.

A rush of sympathy came through and I almost hugged him, but I remembered why he was pulling me back so forcefully.

"Have you gone insane? Are you really ready to risk your own life just so you can play hooky with Cullen later on? Huh, that's if he even survives" Jacob growled. I tried to shake him off, but his grip was too tight. So I left his hands there.

"What's the point Bella? He's just going to break your heart later on" he said, his tone softening up, and his hold on me loosening. I was frozen on the spot.

I never thought about Edward breaking my heart in two, but I always knew that it would always be in the back of my mind. I had stayed clear from it, especially ever since Edward had stood by me when James had sent me those freaky text messages.

But then again, it's not like I have any reason to worry about it…right? Maybe I'm overestimating my love for him. I don't think he could hurt me more than he already has in the past.

I looked at Jacob, the boy who I had missed so much, the boy who came running even though I didn't want him to come. I shook my arm out of his grasp, saying something that I knew I would regret later on; after all, Jacob is my best friend.

"I don't think that's really any of your business" I said coldly, then gathering as much venom, hoping he would believe me; I lied. "You never should have come, I never needed you in the first place"

I watched Jacob's face turn to shock, then to sadness. He freed me. I left him looking grief stricken, I had never felt so low in my life. I can't believe I said that just to get what I want.

God knows, maybe Karma will kill me for this.

I put on my coat and ran to my car, trying to ignore the feeling of guilt taking over me. I began driving the convertible with the top down, not really caring much that it was starting to drizzle, I just had to get out of there.

I speeded down the high way, with not much regards to the road safety sign. There was nobody on the road, so I ran through the green lights, running faster than usual. It was an accident waiting to happen. Once I came closer to the school and the forest got thicker, I began to ease up on the speed. But to my great dismay it began hailing.

Big fat balls of eyes came storming on my head, bouncing of my skin painfully. I shrieked and leaned over to push the button for the roof of my car. It made a jerking sound, I looked back to find that the roof was jammed.

I swore under my breath in disbelief, hitting the stirring wheel frustratingly. I let out a shout as though to release my misery. It's not like I didn't deserve it.

I felt in serious need of some therapy, annoyingly enough, I had no where to go. I couldn't go to any of the Cullen's because they all seemed to despise Jacob, Alice was too bouncy. The only person left who was as miserable as I am would have to be Alec.

I drove faster and faster until I reached the gate of Volterra Prep. I parked right at front and ran straight in, ignoring Candy all together. I was dripping cold water all over the floor that it was only natural for me to slip. I fell on the floor with a resounding thump, swearing angrily, I got back up on my feet.

_Is it just me, or am I having a really bad day? _I thought to myself sarcastically. I looked around at the locker bay to find that Alec was no where to be found. I ran out side and headed towards the oval, only to find that empty too. I dejectedly walked back towards the main building; students were just starting get to school.

I walked past the school bulletin, completely drained out of energy. _Where the hell is he? _I thought frustratingly. The very few people who came to school early were looking at me as though I was a rag doll their Chihuahuas just dragged inside their domain.

I caught my reflection on the window and I grimaced. There was no doubt about it; I looked like a drowned dog. I tried to right my hair, but no matter what I did it stuck to the nape of my neck.

I was still trying to desperately fix my hair when I saw somebody from the corner of my eyes. I turned to look and smiled when I saw Alec going inside a small classroom.

Without hesitating, I walked towards the room and was about to open it when I heard voices inside. The weird thing is, it wasn't just Alec's voice. I was sure Jane was in the room too.

"_Where the hell have you been?" _Jane said bitterly, nothing at all like the sweet and innocent girl I knew. I thought about walking away, but a new voice made up my mind for me.

"_You're not chickening out, are you rockstar?" _said the familiar drawl. Something inside of me clicked. It sounded like I had stumbled on a secret meeting.

The door was left slightly ajar. I softly put my hand on the door, and pushed it gently, taking a peek inside. What I saw made my blood run cold. James and Victoria were sitting side by side, while Jane stood in front of Alec.

"_The plan will only work with your cooperation, after all, you plainly said how much you hated Edward" _James said coldly, getting up on his feet, and walking towards Alec.

"_I've heard your plan over and over again. I see flaws in every direction, and not to mention its completely low" _Alec bit back frostily.

"_I mean, push him off the cliff when he's not suspecting?" _Alec said disgustedly.

I watched in horror as James pushed Alec against the table.

"_Listen up here-"_ he started, but Victoria pulled him away. I noticed how intimate the two of them looked.

"_Leave him alone James!"_ Jane said loudly, pushing in between them. James looked at Jane, and sighed heavily_. "Whatever you say love"_ he said, unsmiling.

"_He'll do it, won't you Alec?"_ Jane said, her voice lowering so she sounded adorable. Alec rolled his eyes and scoffed_. "Unless of course, you've grown a conscience because you befriended that loser Swan"_ Jane said heatedly.

I heard someone laughing softly_. "Oh please! Leave Swan to me. I still have a score to settle with her"_ Victoria said excitedly, her feline features coming to life.

I couldn't bear to hear anymore. I slowly backed out of there and ran away from the room.

_Alec is a traitor. _All this time I had trusted him, considered him as a friend, and this is how he repays me. It was all a lie, I can't believe I trusted him. No wonder he was acting so weird.

_And with what I'm about to do, it serves me right, _Alec's word's from yesterday came rushing back, even then he had hinted that he was going to do something so terrible. I can't believe betrayal could hurt this much.

I ran past the locker bays, feeling cold inside. I bumped in to Alice on the way, crashing in to her, and almost shoving her on the metal locks of the lockers. A hand grabbed us in time. I looked up and saw Jasper, looking at the two of us worriedly.

"Bella, what happened to you?!" Alice said, looking me up and down anxiously. I knew I was going to cry, so I broke away from Alice.

My brain was becoming one gigantic mess as I shook Alice. I was starting to forget details of what I just heard. It felt like my brain was malfunctioning from shock.

"Where's Edward?" I asked hastily. I needed to tell him something…_I needed to tell him…Alec…Jane…Traitors…Liars! _

Alice tried to calm me down, but I was shaking too much. "He's in the music room!" she said, clearly freaked out by my behavior. I ran towards the old music room, leaving Alice mystified.

I halted at the front; I could hear the piano being played inside the room. I tried to get my breathing even, and tried my last attempt at fixing my hair.

_I have to tell him…_I thought to myself weakly. I carefully opened the door, the warmth of the room hitting square on the face. He must've had the fire running on the fireplace.

I tried to run the information in my head. _I have to tell him about Alec, about Friday…James wanting to kill him…and..what? _My train thoughts came crashing down. There was Edward against the wall with Tanya pressed against him. There was something very wrong with the picture, but my brain wouldn't process it.

I quickly spun around to go but accidentally knocked an ancient vase. I knelt to the ground and started picking up the pieces of the broken vase. I felt someone behind, then I saw a pair of hands picking the broken pieces.

I grabbed a piece that had rolled under the table, cutting my self on the process. I looked at the red drops of blood, instantly remembering the nauseating effect it had on me. I felt like hurling on the carpet, but I held myself together.

"Bella…" Edward said softly, taking my hands in to his. I looked in to his green eyes and that's when it registered to me; Tanya pressed against Edward against the wall.

"Don't touch me" I said coldly, pulling my hand away from him. There were scratching noises on the back, as well as some muffled screams. But I didn't care. I just stood up, but before leaving I turned and looked at Edward hardheartedly.

"I came here to tell you that James is planning your demise by pushing you down the cliff on Friday" I said frigidly, then I walked out of the room, letting the hurt pull me under.

"Bella!" Edward yelled out my name, but I didn't turn around, I just continued walking until I reached the exit. I walked past Candy who was reading Vogue magazine. Many of the students watched me without knowing the weight I was carrying on my shoulder.

I walked up towards my car, leaving the top down, despite the fact that it was pouring down heavily. I knew karma was going to strike, but I didn't realize it would hurt so much. Knowing my luck, I would probably get detention for skipping school, but hell I already had one hell of a bad day. I don't think I can take anymore.

I drove back home, hoping against odds that I hadn't completely driven Jacob away. I pulled in to the driveway, noticing that Charlie's cruiser was gone; he must've already gone to work.

I jumped out of the car and hurriedly went through the front door, dropping my keys on the crystal bowl. I tiredly walked towards the kitchen, my heart lighting up when I found Jacob sitting there with his head bent down.

I could no longer stop the flow of my tears. Jake must've noticed my presence; he turned around slowly to look at me. We sat next to each other uneasily and in silence. After a few moments I leaned my head against his shoulder, sniffling slightly.

"I'm sorry" I said softly, loving the feeling of his warm skin against my cheek.

Jacob leaned against me as well and took a deep breath.

"Not as sorry as I am. I was out of line" he said sadly, hugging me to him.

"I didn't mean what I said" I said softly, holding on to him.

"I know" Jacob said, patting my head.

"I missed you" I whispered softly.

"I know" My heart swelled up. I don't think I deserve him as a best friend, I'm such a horrible friend.

"I love you" I said, truly meaning it.

Jacob smilingly chuckled.

"I know"

**March 18 (Later that day)**

Which part of "I don't want to talk" can't people understand? My phone has been blowing up all morning with calls and text messages from Edward, Alice, and even the twins for crying out loud.

More so from Edward than the others though. As if I would really talk to him right now. As far as I know, being pressed against Tanya doesn't indicate that the two are over. But something in me keeps telling me to call him, that he's not that kind of person. I guess it's only my pride that's keeping me at bay right now.

Though something else keeps bothering me, what the hell was that muffled screaming sound I heard inside the music room…

**March 18 (Still)**

Edward just texted me, and yes I read it. He wants to know whether were still on for battle of the bands. I told him yes…I might hate him right now, but our names were already on the competitors list, and I, Isabella Swan, am not in the mood for socializing right now, especially not to the head of the battle of the bands committee, who by the way is a lying bastard that doesn't deserve a second chance.

Goodnight.


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: First page**

**Author's note: **I know, I'm sorry I didn't update this story for ages, its just that I wrote this chapter at least five times

And it still ends up a little fillery. Urgh, I don't know anymore. This is it, i hope its not so bad. For those of you who will read and review, i love you guys.

And I'm sorry. I've probably lost readers from my bad habit of updating really late. Sorry again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Beautiful Disaster**

**Part 18**

**March 19 **

I am weak. I AM SO WEAK!

I know I said that I would never ever get involved with Edward ever again, and that I would forget all about him, but I'm like an insane boy crazed harpy. We were only ever suppose to practice for battle of the bands, and when I walked towards the music room, my mind was filled with so many things, that what could happen in that practice never once crossed my mind.

After telling Jacob about a hundred times that I would be alright and that he didn't have to baby sit me, he finally let me go. I walked the familiar route to the music room, lingering in my own little world when I saw something I wasn't suppose to see (at least that's what I thought).

Between the cross of the north and the south wing I saw Jane and James in a heavy lip lock. I'm not even kidding! My shock just kind of stopped me half way and I slowed down.

I must've looked like a fish then, with my mouth hanging open and all. I felt like I was going to be sick because the last time I checked, James was with Victoria, not Jane. After standing there for what seemed like ages, I quickly passed them before I became scarred for life.

Thankful that they didn't notice me, I walked faster towards the music room, the image of them making out stuck in my mind.

When I got to the music room, Edward was already waiting for me quietly. I had been dying to tell him what I saw, but thought better of it when I realized how uncomfortable the atmosphere between us was.

I slowly walked towards him, unsmilingly. He scowled at me and ushered me behind the music stand. Why he was scowling at me, I have no clue, but I was glad that he wasn't the groveling type.

I don't know why, but I half expected him to explain what happened yesterday, but from what I could see, there was no way he was going to be doing that anytime soon.

I stood behind the music stand with the lyrics. There was an awkward silence before Edward finally decided to talk to me. "So I thought you should start with some warm ups" he said, looking anywhere but me.

I was noticing more and more that he was turned up full blown with _Edwardism_.

His voice was cold, and he was definitely avoiding my gaze. I'm just realizing this now, but after all this time, Edward is still this giant enigma. I doubt I'll ever fully understand him, although a big part of me kind of wants to.

I gave him a stoic stare and nodded. "What do you want me to do?" I said quietly, wringing fingers restlessly. Edward eyed my fingers, and I noticed his eyes narrowed.

"Stop wringing your fingers" he snapped. I raised my eyebrows, my patience wearing thin.

"Why don't you look me in the eye and tell me that?" I said in a low voice. That's when Edward looked at me. It was my turn to look away from his intense green gaze.

"What?" his voice sent shivers up and down my spine as I shook my head.

"Nothing" I said in a deadpan voice, "What do you want me to do" I asked him once again.

Edward sighed and nodded. "My mother makes me mash my mini m&m's in a Monday morning, oooh-wah" he said, except when he said it, it sounded more like; _Mymothermakesmemashm minim&m's inaMondaymorning oooh-wah!_

"Eh?" I said feeling slightly lost. That's when he repeated the sentence, but slowly this time.

"It's for diction" he said, playing with the music sheets on the piano.

"Come on, give it a try" he urged.

I took a deep breath and attempted the rhyme. Except mine kept ending up sounding like this. "My mother mash my m&m's oohwah!" the first time I did it, Edward sniggered, then muffled it quickly when I gave him a dirty look.

He cleared his throat, "Try again"

"My mother makes me mash my mini….ummm…oh wahh" the only thing I could do perfectly was the ending. Yet Edward kept telling me to repeat. On my tenth try, I lost my temper.

"Can we just get on with the stupid song already?!" I snapped, pouting angrily. That's when Edward collapsed in laughter. I stared at him then, his mood swings were a complete mystery for me.

"Yeah well, it might be funny now, but it won't be so funny as soon as we make asses of ourselves tomorrow" I said in a cranky voice. "So annoying" I added under my breath. Edward fell silent again. I swear his mood swings is starting to give me whiplash.

"Ahem! You're right of course" he sighed, "still funny though" he added under his breath. I pretended not to noticed and looked down on my lyrics.

"_Dancing where the stars go blue, dancing where the evening fell, dancing in my wooden shoes in a wedding gown…" _I started, and from there, there were no interruptions. Our harmonies fell together perfectly, our voices fusing together perfectly.

His beautiful voice was making me melt all over again, and once again, I was lost.

At one point, we ended up singing to each other. Face to face, like nothing was seriously wrong with the two of us, singing at the top of our lungs without a care in the world. We sang a'capella through out the whole practice.

By the time the rehearsal came to a close, I completely forgot that I wasn't suppose to be talking to him. We ended up lying on the floor, staring at the ceiling, talking about everything and anything. The weird thing is, Edward and I were the complete opposites, but somehow we never ran out of things to say to each other.

The sexual tension was definitely still there. His beautiful scent sent my senses reeling, and I had trouble catching my breath. The sad thing is, I wanted so much to touch him. I know, I know! I should be crucified just for thinking that. And the thing is, I should have felt guilty because I promised Jacob I wouldn't let Edward close enough to hurt me again, but I couldn't feel anything.

At some point, the talking stopped and a random question popped in my head that I shouldn't have asked at all.

"So…where's Tanya?" I asked uneasily. Even though Edward and I weren't touching, I could feel him stiffen beside me.

"Half way across the country in a rehab centre" he said quietly.

"What?" I spat out, looking at him with shock. All I could think about was _Holy Shit! _

Edward looked at my face and shook his head. "Yesterday when you saw me with her, that was Tanya attacking me" he said, sitting up and looking at the wall.

"Oh" I said pathetically. I sat up too, and looked at Edward.

"That's why I wasn't talking to you earlier…You didn't even give me a chance to explain. You just went off assuming the worst…" he sounded like he was in pain as he frustratingly ran his fingers through his hair. "Always assuming the worst" he said, shaking his head.

For a bit I just stared at him. I didn't move, and I definitely didn't know what to say. After a while, the only thing I could think of was a pathetic little apology.

"I'm sorry…" I said in a small voice, biting my bottom lip.

Edward let out a frustrated sound, and looked at me. "You must know, I mean it's obvious. You and I are a disaster when we get together. All we ever seem to do is hurt each other. And I always feel like I can't get anything right!" he said, moving closer towards me. He held up his hand, and touched my cheek tenderly. I leaned in to his touch for comfort.

"But I can't stay away from you…it kills me to know that I'm hurting you" his voice sounded like a lullaby in my ears. I didn't know what I was doing, but next thing I knew I was holding his hand, climbing on top of him, and kissing him like there's no tomorrow.

I wanted to jump his bones, to own him, and never let go. But a small voice in my head kept telling me not to go too far. His lips were soft against mine, and he was showering me with hedonistic kisses.

I moaned out loud, and that must have been my undoing. Edward flipped us around, so I was beneath him. His smell was intoxicating. I couldn't help it, I wrapped my legs around him, and grinded against him. He let out a groan and we lay there, kissing, tongues clashing, heartbeats doubling up.

Waves after waves of pleasure hit me square in the face, and then…

No you sicko's. We didn't do it. Not even close. I came to my senses and realized what could happen if we were caught fornicating on the rug. After that nauseating thought, more and more thoughts crossed my mind, and I realized that now wasn't the time to be _doing_ it. Damn it! I can't even say the word sex out loud.

I just cringed when I wrote that.

It's not that I have no sex drive, because obviously that was me thundering my way out of virginity, but I thought of all the consequences, and I always thought that when I finally end up losing it, it would be in a much more romantic environment, not on a rug.

I was still shaking as I sat up. Edward sat up too, shaking his head. "I'm so sorry…" I said in a tiny voice.

Edward looked at me dizzily, "It was entirely my pleasure…You can do that to me anytime" he said jokingly. I laughed then. I laughed with him like I'd never laughed in a long time.

"I love you" he said, holding my hand. I didn't say anything. I looked down and bit my bottom lip. "What?" he asked, "What's wrong" he urged.

I shook my head and gave him a small smile. "Nothing" I said.

Once again I showed my weakness. And that weakness is Edward. I'm beginning to come to the conclusion that he and I are really inevitable. My attraction towards him is something people can understand, I mean have you seen how gorgeous he is?

But his attraction to me is a mystery. He could get someone really beautiful. Yet he sticks with me. It's just odd.

There was an awkward silence between us. The air was so thick that I kind of choked out "I saw Jane and James making out!" I covered my mouth after I said that. Because **OH. MY. GOD! **I AM such an idiot! Who does that?!

"What?!" Edward snapped, looking at me in shock.

"Nothing!" I squeaked. Edward was staring at me with his mouth hanging open.

I can't believe I said that. Not only am I weak, I am also a bumbling moron who needs to keep her trap shut.

Luckily the bell went then.

I quickly stood up. "Yeah, I would rather not repeat the gory details because frankly, I am scarred for life" I said, shaking my head.

I stood up the same time as Edward. We stood in front of each other for a bit. "I'm not sorry" he said in a serious voice. I looked at him, and almost got lost in his eyes.

"I don't want to think about it" I said in a small voice. I was seriously planning on leaving first, at least you know, that way I still had a bit of my dignity left, but Edward's green gaze was far too intense that I could actually feel my cheeks burning. He smirked at my blushing face; I felt like burning then.

"I know that…But you will anyway" he said laughingly, and then left me. I stood there gawking after him for what seemed like forever. It's like he's oblivious to the fact that tomorrow, James could totally kick his ass. I mean don't get me wrong, I'm sure Edward can throw a punch, but I'm pretty sure James eats steroids for breakfast.

I just shook my head and tried to proceed with my day as though I hadn't been kissed by a god. When I returned to Jacob, I kept avoiding any topic that could lead to a discussion about the rehearsal. I'm sure Jacob isn't dumb though, I'm sure he knows that something went down. I'm a lousy liar…I tend to blush every time I try to pull of a completely simple lie.

I still don't know where Edward and I stand, but one thing is for sure, tomorrow is going to be one hell of a day. If Edward thinks that he and I are a disaster, let's just hope that he didn't speak too soon. I've got a bad feeling that if we were to talk about disasters, Friday will definitely get the cake.

**March 19 (Later)**

**JAMES AND JANE WERE MAKING OUT! OH MY GOD! **I know that we've established that already…but…OH MY GOD! What the hell is going on?

James is this big burly guy, and Jane is this tiny little thing…and they were making out!!!

I- wait. I need to sleep, or else my veins are going to pop, and I'm going to end up with brain damage or something…

**5 minutes later**

James is eighteen…and how old is Jane??? Wouldn't that make him a phedophile???

That is seriously sick! I can understand that he's an evil genius and all, but what about Victoria?

**Another 5 minutes later**

Ewww, image of James and Jane are stuck in my head. I can't stop thinking about it…Jane looks like a twelve year old for crying out loud….I need to seriously stop.

I'm going to put this thing under my bed, turn off all the lights, hopefully then, I'll be too lazy to reach under my bed.

Jane and James…urgh.

**15 minutes later**

**. . . **

I reached for this for no apparent reason. That's it; I'm going to close my eyes. Goodnight.


End file.
